True Love
To the man I adore,
- When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
- When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile — I know it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- When you are scared — I will give you good advice and not expect you to follow it.
- When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
- When you are confused — I will use little words.
- When you are sick — I will stay the hell away from you until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
- When you fall — I will point and laugh at how funny you looked as you were falling.
This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end.
“Why?” you may ask?, “Because I love you”.
Love is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
LMAO!
I had unprintable thoughts reading item 3
I love the quote! Hilarious but true!
Ha ha ha, good one! Wow, now I know the true meaning towards “True Love”…
Kinda liked the third one best. Will definitely get the wifey to read on this, thanks.
lol, too funny!
Of course, if they decriminalized it and taxed it, it would free up law enforcement for more valuable tasks (like keeping someone from knocking you upside the head and taking your stuff) and the money coming in could pay for things like universal healthcare.
I have experienced true love, I guess. But, I cannot do all the things listed above, because sometimes, I just can’t do it.