Dish Duty: Sharing Responsibility

Last Week: In case you missed it, How to Keep the Sexual Spark Alive was posted at Project Happily Ever After.

What you are about to read is only one piece of a 27-chapter collaborative e-book written to help you learn how to make your marriage extraordinary amongst the chaos of life. After reading this post, be sure to download a complete copy of LOVE EVERYDAY absolutely free!

DISH DUTY: Sharing Responsibility

I’ve talked with women from around the world in our chatrooms and many of them say the same thing when I ask why they spend so much time there. They all word it differently but the theme is always the same. Here’s a recent story told to me by a 37 year old woman in California.

“I am a mother, a wife and a working woman, so my life is really busy. I get up early, get the kids their breakfast and get them off to school and then I dash to my job. I love my job but I work on my feet a lot so I do get tired by the end of the day.

After work I hurry to the supermarket to pick up a few things for dinner, go home and start dinner. While that’s cooking, I get the kids started on their homework and toss in a load of washing. Before dinner is ready, my husband comes home just in time to sit down and eat. I do love dinner time because I’m sitting and able to enjoy my family.

Once dinner is over my husband goes to watch the news on TV and I clean up the kitchen, check the kids’ homework and put the clothes I washed into the dryer. I feed the dog, clean out the bird’s cage and get lunch organized for the next day.

Soon it’s bath and bedtime for the kids. I have one that still needs a story read every night so the whole good night show takes about 30-45 minutes. It will always be one of my best times of the day. After tuck-ins and kisses goodnight, I clean up the bathroom and head back to the laundry and toss in another load. I take a quick walk with the dog and then it’s about 9pm and I’m ready to relax.

Where’s my husband during all of this? Sound asleep in his chair in front of the TV. I’ve had a long day, I’m tired and I would love someone to talk to — someone who values my opinions and makes me feel desirable. I don’t get it at home. I don’t know how to get it at home. We have sex on Saturday night at 10:30pm.

I’ve asked and pleaded for more attention from him and all I get from him is, “You have to tell me what to do, I can’t dream it up. If you want me to empty the trash, just say so.”

Honestly, I don’t care so much that he doesn’t want to help me around the house, I’m used to that and I can cope, but what I can’t cope with is the loneliness I feel. I want to know I’m still important to him and I’m not and that makes me sad. We don’t argue, we get along okay and the kids are doing well in school and are happy.

I found that going to a chatroom takes my frustration away. Is it cheating on my husband? Maybe, but he doesn’t seem to care. By the time I’ve finished all the chores he’s always asleep in his chair. I see my friends in chat nearly every night. When I log on they ask me how my day has been or did anything important happen today. I get a chance to talk out my problems with someone who cares. It may be all virtual but it feels real to me.”

I remember asking my mother what she considered sexy in a man. I’ll never forget it. “The sexiest man in the world is the one who’s loading the dishwasher because that tells me that we’re in this together.”

Sure, it’s not always the man in the relationship who doesn’t put 50% of the work to keep a relationship strong. Where a husband and wife are really in it together, you won’t see either the husband or the wife spending night after night chatting online to friends they’ve never met.

Next Week: Don’t forget to check out Pillow Talk: Romance Through Words next week on Engaged Marriage!

If you enjoyed this article please share this free download with your family and friends. Get your FREE copy of LOVE EVERYDAY today!