When there’s a disagreement between you and your partner, are you always the one who gives in first? Sometimes it’s very frustrating when one half of a relationship “gives up” just to keep peace. Also, there seems a time that there are more than two people in a relationship that dictates where your relationship and your lives should be headed. Don’t let them walk over you or your relationship.

In all relationships there needs to be give and take to be truly considered a good and healthy relationship. When one always gives and the other always takes, that’s how relationships get broken. If compromise at your place means you’re the one who’s always saying, “I’m sorry,” then it’s time for you to learn that compromise isn’t a one-way street.

Rather than continue being the always yes always sorry doormat, the next time that your partner or spouse asks you to do something that you don’t want to, say no. They may be surprised and expect you to give in easily because you always do, but this time stand your ground and most of all, stay calm. Explain why you can’t or don’t want to do it and what other options there are. If they are persistent or even difficult, it might be tempting to give in to keep peace, but don’t. A relationship needs to be balanced. You must please yourself first rather than your partner.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean fighting tooth and nail about every little thing. That would be a miserable kind of life. What I’m talking about is the man or woman who is ground down emotionally because they are never right, they apologize for everything even when they’ve done nothing wrong. Sometimes just asking your partner to consider your needs too leads to recognizing that you do have needs that are as important to you as to him or her. Don’t make excuses for your spouse’s poor treatment of you. You are the only one who can stop it and you do that by not giving in for every decision or argument.

We are all perfect beings who deserve the love and respect of our partner. If you’re not getting it, get some change going on!

A date isn’t an interview that you are having when you apply for a job. I know, I know, time is precious so you have to do as much “screening” as you can as quickly as you can. And if you don’t feel that he/she isn’t the right one you can move on. That’s not what dating is all about. Dating is about having fun.Here are some other tips that will help you to relax and have a good time. If you get these right, your date will go swimmingly. Honestly.

1. Dress well — and appropriately for the activity you’ve planned. If you’re going out to dinner – smart casual for both men and women. If you’re going hiking, ladies, don’t wear heels. For goodness sake be clean. Take a shower just before your date. Look and smell delicious.

2. Show up on time. I know this sounds really simple but I’m flabberghasted at the number of complaints we have about both men and women who are 15 to 30 minutes or longer late on the first date. If you’re running into difficulty, call ahead and say you’re going to be 15 minutes late. It’s the courteous and respectful thing to do. Also, if you decide you have changed your mind, send an email or call. Too many people make dates to meet in person and fail to show up. Nerves most probably but it’s still really inconsiderate.

3. Put away your cell phone; do not take calls or text. One lady wrote to us last week about a first date (in person) with a guy from SexyAds. He took 9 phone calls during the evening from work or friends and didn’t say, “Can I call you back? I’m with someone now.” He asked for a 2nd date and she told him she wasn’t going to wait in the queue again.

4. Guys, if you’re meeting at a coffee shop, always buy your date something to drink — doesn’t matter if she says she’s fine without a drink, buy one anyway. I can hear you complaining about women’s lib and going dutch but I promise, you’ll get farther with a simple cup of coffee or a Coke.

5. Don’t swear or use other foul language or speak to serving people rudely. This should be a given but sadly it’s not. Manners will always win out.

6. Avoid talking about past relationships; Your date won’t be impressed with how awful your ex is or was or how big a martyr you were. It’s not relevant to the date you’re on or the relationship that might come between you. These sorts of discussions are weeks or months down the road over a glass of wine.

7. Don’t ask rapid-fire questions; nobody wants to feel like they’re being interviewed for a potential “job” as your boyfriend or girlfriend. Ask interesting questions about things you truly want to know. Where someone went to grade school or what their first dog’s name is should be none of your business at the first date.

8. Let the other person talk. I know it feels good to talk about yourself and your accomplishments but your date feels the same way. If you talk about yourself all night then it’s apparent to them that you don’t care what sort of person they are.

9. Stick it out for at least an hour, even if you’re not interested. You never know, after 30 minutes the nerves might settle down and the conversation could change and you might change your mind. If not, you’ve wasted 30 minutes.

10. Don’t pressure the other person to go out again. Ask once and if you’re flatly turned down, don’t go there again. Move on to someone who will look forward to that second date with you?

Wouldn’t you guys love to play with your computer games with this?

Press on, now!

Sorry for the sporadic postings, we’ve recently moved from New Zealand back to Australia and we had a devil of a time getting broadband.  First we couldn’t get it at all, wouldn’t even take our application, and then it was that we’d get it in November 2011.  Why?  Because there were only 2 free lines from people who’d moved out and they were being saved for future owners.  That’s just how it works.

Mr. Flirty is a geek of the first order and not to have the highest possible connection was driving him nuts.  He called and got a phone company rep in the Philippines who said we couldn’t get broadband at all and had half a paired set of wires for our phone connection.  That’s where it started going bad.  He called the business office and got no joy.  He called the regional office and got no joy.  In an offhand comment to our of our new neighbours, they suggested just talking with a phone techo because they are the ones who really know what’s going on.

So that’s what he did next.  The techo said there were 2 free wires that went straight to the exchange but we couldn’t have a set because they were on hold for 6 months and 1 day.  Mr. Flirty had smoke coming out of his ears that this point.  The techo then did something that’s rare in any industry.  He said he had a buddy that owed him a favor and he’d see what he could do.  In 15 minutes we were connected on one of those 2 wires to the exchange.  We couldn’t access the net because we didn’t have a broadband account.  He called the phone company again and was told that it would take 10-15 working days to get it installed.  He explained that it was already connecting to the exchange and someone just had to flip a switch.  Nope, nothing could be done to make it go any faster.

That’s when he hit on the magic phrase.  “Is there a performance standard that you must meet and can you tell me what that is?”

Well, that person wouldn’t tell him what it was, just said there was nothing she could do.  So he asked for her supervisor and asked the same question.  She gave  him every reason in the book why it took 10-15 working days and he said, ‘If you cannot tell me what the performance standard for connections is, can you pass me on to someone who will?”

She put him on hold for nearly 25 minutes and he waited the whole time.  She came back and still didn’t tell him what the performance standard is for connections but told him we’d be online by the following afternoon.

He spent literally hours and hours on the phone and going to the offices in person to make this happen but *finally* we’re back on and I have a brand new zippy computer so I should get lots more done.  Maybe.

You love chocolates?

With this you’ll even love it even more.