Monogamy Drives Him Crazy

It is possible that we’ve got this monogamy thing all wrong. Why is it when a relationship breaks down, society or your new love interest expect that the love for the old partner must die? To have more than one friend is certainly a good thing and we have enough affection to go around for as many friends as we can find. To have more than one child doesn’t mean that children #2, #3 or #4 have less love and nurturing. What is it about an ex that’s so different? It’s all about the sex and nothing about the love.

Personally I know it’s possible to love an ex because my husband does. Certainly the relationship is different than it used to be, but he wasn’t required to stop loving her in order to fully love me. It was with a glad heart that I found Josh Bagby’s blog Monogamy Drives Me Crazy and I thought it was terrific to find someone who agreed with me.

I’m all for sexual monogamy because that’s what I’m most comfortable with, but I think every human has the capacity to have intimate relationships with other men and women that don’t include sex OR me. The religious right would say I’m anti-family for putting ourselves at risk of falling for someone else. If traditional monogamy is all that’s holding our relationship together, I’d hope to fall in love with someone else!

In our business we have many thousands of married people looking for someone to share sexual intimacy only online. These are people locked into a monogamous relationship and they’re lonely. They don’t want to leave their spouse or partner, but they want to feel alive, important, validated, less lonley and a lot of other needs that aren’t being met right now. I think it’s a good thing. I wish the world wide web had been around in the 80s because I’d certainly have used it.