Is traditional marriage on the way out?
I remember when I first moved to Australia from Florida back in 1996 and about 50% of the couples I met were “partners” but not legally man and wife. In Australia you only have to live together to get the same benefits as a married couple. I wondered if that would catch on in other places.
J and I were partners for 8 years until one night in Paris when I said I thought he should ask me to marry him. Subtle, I know. I don’t know why I decided that it was right for me but my guts gave me that feeling I have learned not to ignore.
I wonder if the same partnership rules existed in the US today where de facto couples who’d been together for more than a year had all the same benefits as a legally married couple, would there be as many marriages? Would you walk down the aisle if you could get by without it?
People have asked me if I would marry now if I hadn’t done so years ago and I have to say I would. While in my head I was fully committed to him, being married did give us that undefinable permanence that feels really good in the pit of my stomach. I always knew we’d be together forever but now I don’t wonder about it at all. I just know. I think J could have stayed partners forever but we promised each other that if either one wanted to, we would.
None of this should imply that I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman. I’m of the rock solid opinion that marriage should be allowed between any two people who want to commit themselves to each other for life. (or for however long they want to be together) It is really nobody’s business but the two people involved. I can’t see how marriage between any two other people can really affect me in any way other than if I want to make rules for everyone else to follow.
Marriage isn’t for everyone. Too often marriage becomes ownership, and when that happens, the party’s over for the one who’s owned. What about you? Would you marry someone or live together?
I agree that marriage is about 2 people committing to each other; but I don’t agree it’s for however long they want. I do believe in til death do you part. Divorce shouldn’t be a way of life; but it is for some; sadly.
Here in the states you do not get any benefits when living together. You must be legally married, being partners means nothing when it comes to ownership, insurance etc.
Used to be something called common law marriages. You had to be with someone for a period of 7 years before you were considered a common law couple, married in the eyes of the law. That no longer exists, and seems to have been more popular in rural areas, and backward villages and towns. It was generally not socially acceptable in other areas, and looked down on by many.
Hubby and I will celebrate our 38th anniversary this coming summer. I don’t like the new trend of living with someone for years before you get married. Worse yet to me is having children and then thinking about getting married. It’s backward to me.
It’s got a lot to do with expense, too. In these times it’s hard to shell out $12 000.
You’re absolutely right. The number one reason people use for not getting divorced is financial. Number two is not wanting to lose contact with the kids.
Yeah It can definitely be an expensive ordeal!
You’re absolutely right. The number one reason people use for not getting divorced is financial. Number two is not wanting to lose contact with the kids.
From your line in my head I was fully committed to him or her, being married undefinable that feels really good in the pit of my stomach. I always knew we’d be together forever but now I don’t wonder about it at all.
Love has no gender…….I agree that marriage is about 2 people committing to each other.