Manly things to do
Ever since I was a kid I’ve known that men think differently from women. Not only do they think differently, the things they think about are different too. Like have you ever noticed when you’re a passenger in a car with a man and you’re at a red light on a 4-lane road and he keeps inching his car forward? It drives me nuts! He can’t just sit there and wait for the light to go green. Oh no, we must have our nose out first. It’s the manly thing to do. I’ve started ignoring it. You can’t argue about everything, can you?
In order to get a guy to go to a chick flick, you’ve got to grovel and say things like, “Do it for me?” I hate that because I never want to waste a gimme. I’ve earned those points and sometimes a chick flick isn’t worth it. Anyway, once you get to the movie, don’t ever let him know you’ve seen tears coming out of his eyes. It can turn into a big scene.
“I wasn’t crying, I had something in my eye.”
“No you didn’t, you were crying.”
“I swear I wasn’t crying, there was nothing in that movie to make ME cry.”
So I roll my eyes and move on to a new subject. Let’s talk about “us”, ok? This is like trying to pull a duck on a tricycle. His lips are flapping and he’s back pedaling but we’re getting nowhere. I have found that “let’s talk” sets us up for disaster, so I just ask him to go for a walk with me.
Does your guy ask for directions? It’s better to drive around like bloodhounds hoping we’ll get the scent of the bbq because stopping will only make us later than we already are!
How about remembering birthdays, anniversaries or special holidays? Today makes 13 years since we first met through a personal ad on the net. I think it’s quite remarkable that we’ve lasted that long. Me - a cranky old American and he’s a fuzzy Australian - chances weren’t too good that we’d last, but last we have. Anyway, I mentioned that it was our 13th anniversary of knowing each other today and he said, “why didn’t you give me advance warning?”
“Advance warning?” I said.
“Yes, then I could have gotten you a gift or booked a nice restaurant.”
“Ok, it’s not your fault that you didn’t remember, it’s my fault for not reminding you?”
“You’re really quick, dear.”
Me? Quick? I think I’ve eaten a pound of stupid. I should have reminded him so I’d get a present!
When you ask a man for something or ask for help with something, you wait and wait and wait. Maybe they’re trying to think up something clever to say so they don’t have to do whatever it is that you need done right now. These always end with me saying — “It’s ok, I got it.”
The other day I said, “Can you pass me the clicker?” I don’t know what it is about the remote control but it always belongs to the man. They don’t use it to change channels - it’s an extension of their manhood. If they have the clicker they’re in control. If that’s all it was, I could live with that. Not in our house. I can be quietly watching a movie or show, not bothering anyone, minding my own business and in he walks, picks up the clicker and starts channel surfing. Has this ever happened to you? It’s like I’m not even in the room. I’m a lump on the couch - faceless and of no importance.
Not until I say, “Excuse me, didn’t you see me sitting here watching tv?”
Then he’s all apologetic like a scolded puppy who just peed on the carpet.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I know exactly what he was thinking, he was thinking this is my remote control and channel surfing is the manly thing to do.
Hey, this post of yours is really funny! Let me tell my story though. We were up in Prince Edward Island, my wife, her sister, and I, lost on our first day of vacation there. So her sister came out with the usual thing,”Men don’t ever ask for directions!” Well, that irritated the hell out of me so I pulled right over to the convenience store up ahead, went in with my map, and had a great conversation with the very helpful man at the counter. I was determined from then on to prove to my sister-in-law that I was not afraid to ask questions, so I took every new opportunity to do so. You see, all it takes is a little prodding. Oh, but you knew that already! Yes, I know. Oh well.
LOL! You have put your finger on it, especially the clicker part.
Sigh…you really put your finger on it.
I am not feeling like a very manly man right now. I stop and ask for directions when I am lost. I get lost easily and have a horrible sense of direction, so if I didn’t do this, I would never make it anywhere new. I don’t channel surf and get annoyed by people who do. I don’t watch TV for the sake of watching TV. I have a couple shows that I watch and I mute the TV when the commercials come on. And I have had a movie make me cry two times, but not at a theatre.
So am I a poor excuse for a man or just a really great guy that some woman will be lucky to end up with someday? I like to think it’s the latter.
Although some of the things you are pointing out in this article are very true… why do women like to laugh at our small “ridiculous” likes, huh?
“I can be quietly watching a movie or show, not bothering anyone, minding my own business and in he walks, picks up the clicker and starts channel surfing.”
As a man, I have to say, that’s not because he’s male, he’s just rude and inconsiderate - sorry. I would never walk into a room and just start changing channels while someone’s watching tv. I’d first ask “are you really watching this, mind if I change”?
As far as the anniversary of when you met? Ummm, who celebrates the day they met. I’m with him on that one. If you want to celebrate abnormal dates, you should give pre-warning.
And men should control the remote, otherwise you’ll have us watching Lifetime of the Fashion network.