Looking back

I had to take a cab today and while I was waiting for the driver to find second gear - again and again, I saw someone out the window who reminded me of my first love. It started me thinking about my old relationships. I think when I first started dating I should have been a part of a family who choose their children’s partners because I was a dismal failure in my early years. I kept choosing “nice” men in public but they didn’t have a clue as to how to be kind when the doors were closed.

Not always, of course, or I’d have never been with them but most of my early relationships ended because I seemed to be the one holding everything together. I’d bring home the surprises and I’d leave the notes and I’d cook the favorite meals and I’d organize the social activities — why? because if I didn’t, nothing would happen. Perhaps they were just spoiled brats. I introduced one guy to my mother and she said, “you’re all excited about nothing!” and then I married him. Of course she was right. Premature cohabitation for sure and in 3 years it was over.

It’s not all bad because I kept getting back on the horse and after a while I stopped dating Mr. Sharp and Mr. Flashy and looked for Mr. Kind. No longer was it ultimately important that I was with someone very intelligent, a really good job and attractive. What I wanted was someone who would be kind to me — as kind as I was to him.

How long did it take to find him? Twenty years. OK OK I’m a slow learner. I found lots of men who were kind but it wasn’t til I met the sexiest man on the planet did I realize that you could find a nice, sexy, attractive and intelligent man. Who knew?? If I could you can too.