How important is marriage to you?
I ask this question because so many people I know choose not to be married at all. In my own case, it took us 8 years to decide to invite all our friends and swear til death do us part. It took my son 9 years and my daughter went for 7 years of living in sin. of our close friends, 3 couples have been together for more than 15 years without benefit of a stamp of government approval.
Which brings me to my friend Fran. She’s been with her partner for 6 years and she wants to be married. She’s 57 and wants the permanence and security she feels a marriage provides. I’m not sure I agree with that, especially if only one person wants to do it. We promised each other that if either one wanted to, we’d do it. No fuss, no hassles and it was a great day. But in Fran’s case, her partner Dick is against marriage completely. His parents failed at it and so have 2 of his brothers and he doesn’t want to follow in those footsteps.
Fran asked my opinion and I told her I didn’t want to give it to her because I thought she’d disagree with it and it might harm our friendship.
How do I really feel?
If both don’t want to get married, the relationship is doomed. We see relationships going well for years and then they marry and boom, it all disappears. I think that’s what will happen to Fran and Dick because Dick doesn’t want to do it and he’ll feel pressured into marriage or nothing. She has already said that if he doesn’t marry her she’s moving on and I don’t blame her one bit.
We each make our way through this world and if marriage is important to her, then she needs to find someone who she can love and will help her fulfill that need. I don’t think she should stay with Dick if she’s going to be unhappy and blame him for it. Just as if he marries her not wanting to, he’ll blame her for his unhappiness too.
I agree with you… Marriage is not that important. People should be together for quite a while before considering it.
Please don’t kill the duck. Its the captcha that makes commenting annoying, btw… or i think people would comment more. I cant even read it.
Marriage is one of the holy Sacrament.That’s why it is important to me.
I cant blame the guy for not wanting to get married.
He just doesn’t to be failure like his brothers.
She should most certainly leave Dick. If she values marriage and the sanctity of the union she should not wait around hoping he changes his mind. She should move on and find a man that hold marriage as dear as she does. Dick on the other hand should not be playing with her emotions. He should respect her enough to leave the relationship so that she could find a better fit!