Going dutch - splitting the bill
If a man asks a woman out, should he expect to pay the evening’s expenses?
Yes. If a man invites a woman out, he should plan on paying the bill.
If a woman asks a man out, should she expect to pay the evening’s expenses?
Yes, If a woman invites a man out, she should plan on paying the bill.
While I might be old fashioned and think a man should do the inviting and the paying for the first date, it’s 2007 people, it’s not just the man who does the inviting any more. While it might be most common for the man to do the inviting, there is nothing at all wrong with a woman inviting a man out to dinner. Ask any man you know if he’d feel flattered that a woman has invited him to dinner and I’ll wager that most would say yes.
Once the first date is over and perhaps the second, it’s time to be practical and fair about what is becoming a friendship on its way to becoming a relationship. The days of most women earning little more than minimum wage is over. Some women are making very good money these days so why should the man pay for everything? We wanted to be equal and this is certainly a part of that.
If you’re a woman and your salary is more than his, you should be paying a higher percentage of times or definitely always splitting the bill. Don’t assume that entertaining you is easy for him. He has asked you out because he likes you and wants to spend time with you, but that doesn’t ease the financial burden on him one bit.
If you like him and want to see date number 2 and date number 3, offer to share the bill. He’ll know in an instant that you’re there because you want to be with him. You’re not a gold digger looking to be wined and dined and shown a good time.
Women who make much less than the man they’re dating can choose to cook a nice meal for him at home. A lovely meal with candlelight and soft music is often a much nicer experience than going out.
The best advice I have is to talk about it before the date starts. Then you both know what to expect. If the man expects the woman to pay and she’s not expecting to pay and doesn’t bring a credit card or cash, there could be embarrassment and that is not going to lead to staying over for breakfast. Unless one of you is rich, everyone is in the same boat financially. We all have expenses and some times are easier than others.
It’s fine to say, “Hey, how about inviting me to dinner this time.” If I liked him I’d say yes.
[…] Eric Ivy wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptWomen who make much less than the man they’re dating can choose to cook a nice meal for him at home. A lovely meal with candlelight and soft music is often a much nicer experience than going out. The best advice I have is to talk about … […]
Very good advice. I’m in total agreement that women should help with expenses, especially if she makes more money. I’m 56 and when I was dating, women felt they needed to be asked and didn’t do the asking. But times they are a changin, and for the better. So if the woman asks the man out, definitely she should pay. It’s only fair. Great blog!
Hi! I don’t date anymore but I do “go out” with my lovely wife.
Now! If a male asks a female to go out on a date, yes, he should pay. No problems there. If the date wants to contribute, thank them and politely say no.
If a female asks a male to go out on a date, well being old fashioned, I think the male should help out with the bill. If this is refused, the male should at least buy some flowers at the time and give them as a thank you gift.
Regards
Peter McCartney
Sydney Australia
Looks like some great advice on dating. I like your comment about something like ” get with it people, this is 2007!” =)
Yeah, I feel the same too. I think guy should pay for the bill if just two of us especially for the first few dates. Hehe..
I say avoid this issue altogether by forgetting the idea of the traditional (boring) dinner date–ESPECIALLY as a first date. I agree that home-cooked meals are a good alternative for later dates. Another would be to make the dinner a social function (ie as part of a larger group), then part ways with the rest of the group and have a little 1-on-1 time together after the meal. Save the formal dinner dates for when you’re actually in the relationship phase.
Just my 2 cents.
The Boston Bachelor
For me it’s a give and take situation. Most of the time man should pay. For the woman, she should relize when her turn is. Doesn’t have to wait or telling whose turn it be.
adam.
Hi your article is delightful.
I will definitely read your blog..
thank you again