Ever met the wrong person who turned out right?
I get told something like this at least once a week. Men and women join our dating website and they have really clear ideas of the type of person they’re looking for. They know the race, the approximate height, the education, the politics and even about how much this person should earn. They can see this person in their mind’s eye and that’s who they want.
Do they find the right match? Sometimes, but more often they find someone totally different. Like today, I got an email from a woman I’ll all Melinda. Ok that is her real name but you couldn’t pick her out of a lineup so I’m safe. She wrote that she placed her ad for a single man, 30-35, professional position who loved opera and sex.
When I read that I thought, “geez, that shouldn’t be too hard, especially if you took out the opera!”
Anyway, she wrote to say that she got quite a few contacts from her ad but none of the guys were just right. She was determined not to give up and she was going to stay on our site because she liked the ability to be classy AND sexy without all the smut crap that sometimes goes along with it.
One night she ventured into the chatroom and started talking with Deg. He’s not the most attractive cupcake in the box, he’s over 40 and would act like a worm in hot ashes if you took him to the opera. They chatted for 5 hours about everything from where they grew up to how they drink their coffee. Both thought it was just a once-off and forgot about it until they both happened to be in chat again and sure enough, started chatting away forgetting all about the time.
Melinda told me, “then it hit me – what was it about this man that could induce me to chat for hours when I’ve never been able to stand it for more than 15 minutes?”
So she started thinking about Deg and anticipating their next chat. After a couple more chats that went into the wee hours, she dared to ask if he’d like to meet her on the weekend for coffee. He said he wasn’t sure because he was having so much fun that she might not want to talk to him once she’d seen how ugly he was in person.
But meet they did and they’ve met on many weekends since and are now planning a holiday together.
“Does he like opera yet?” I asked.
Sadly that’s still a no but because he wants to be part of her life, he’s gone to a couple of operas and she said he didn’t wear earplugs. To return the favor she’s gone fishing once and has been to an auto race with him.
“Would she have answered an email from Deg?” I wanted to know.
“Not in a million years,” she admitted and then told me how wrong she would have been. “He’s a wonderful man and makes me feel like a queen when I’m with him.”
If you’re looking for a new partner, remember Melinda and her happiness and keep your options open. Don’t let the best one get away because they don’t fit all your criteria.
I find your article to be very true. When I was younger, I am now in my 30s, I used to have a clear picture of whom I wanted to be for the rest of my life. It turned out that the person that I have been with for the last 15 years is the opposite of my ideal person, but we have a great relationship and enjoy each other very much. Sometimes, opposites do attract.
After almost 13 years of being together, unfortunately, I’m still waiting for this wrong guy to be right one…
I always thought I would date a “tall guy”…but my hubby and I are pretty much the exact same height…I’m glad I didn’t let that stop me from liking him…and it turns out it’s nice having an excuse to never wear heels
I think every women who are really in love with their current boyfriends will tell you that they found Mr. Right already. I mean, when a person commit him/herself with a person, the person will think that the person is the right guy or girl. What is the sense of commitment when the person is not the right one (for the serious relationship at least). Right?
But really. Theres no Mr Right, for somehow, there will be more right but there will be always one love. They say “you can love two at a time but not on the same weight”.
This post makes me think about the early days with my husband.
We met online and I really liked him. When we met in person, I didn’t like him that much at all. He wasn’t what I was looking for and I was disappointed. I gave the relationship a shot as friends and then it blossomed into more and before I knew it I fell in love and now we’re married!
My site seems very similar to yours – I dated online for a long time before finding the one and now I want to share my experience with others. Check it out if you have time.
Thank you for your site!
everyone should go n dates with the person to whom they love truely. it should not be business for anyone.
It only depend on the belief what you setup on and life always gives the second chance to every individual.
I have the same problem, but with the ladies. I think that the only way that you will truly find someone is if you stop looking for it.