I need a name

We got a new member of the family today and he has no name. The breeder named him Choccie because he’s chocolate brown but Mr. Flirty doesn’t think that’s a manly enough name. I suggested Cadbury but he just rolled his eyes.

I suggesed Eddy.. no, that wouldn’t do.

I suggested Curly.. no, that wouldn’t do.

He’s been home for 2 hours and I’m calling him dog and that won’t do!

He’s a cavoodle. That’s half cavalier king charles spaniel and half poodle. He’s got curly brown hair and a bit of white on his belly and on one foot. Here he is.. so what’s his name??

Poor little no-name dog

If you’re thinking, “Geez, don’t those people ever mow their lawn?” You’d be right. Mondays are mow days for me and it was pouring. It rained yesterday too. Today we went dog shopping, hence no mowing today. Hopefully we’ll get it mowed tomorrow so the poor puppy can walk across the lawn without bumping into tall grass and weeds. It’s all volcanic soil so when it rains you can hear the grass grow.

Embarrassed and sore

bag of roadside litterI was walking the dogs today — something I do every morning for about 45 minutes. It’s good for them and good for me too. To give a bit back to the community I always bring an old plastic grocery bag with me and pick up trash on the side of the road.

Well, this morning, as I was bent over the ditch on the side of the road reaching for a piece of plastic nearly out of my reach, this gorgeous hunk of a man walks up behind me and says, “Can I help?” If that had been you, you’d have smiled at him and said, “Yes, can you reach that piece of trash for me?”

What did I do?

I didn’t hear him coming and when he spoke the first word I jumped out of my skin, fell in the ditch and got covered in disgusting muddy goo. I’m probably known as “the old rubbish lady” to the neighborhood and I have no idea what this guy must think of me. There I sat with my ass half on pointy rocks and half in the mud. He apologized for frightening me and helped me up but that didn’t do much for my dignity.

That’s how my day started. Was yours any better?

Moving during the holidays

Moving house is never an easy proposition at the best of times but during the holidays it’s much more difficult and stressful. If you’re moving across town it’s a lot of work but moving to another country can be a pain in the ass. Ok, I do realize that I have a choice to move or not to move but knowing it’s something I want to do hasn’t made it any easier. First, try finding a moving company that will work during the holidays. No, your stuff will go sometime early next year, so until then bring what you absolutely have to have with you.

Merry Christmas
Next, if you have pets, pencil in about a week to take them to this vet and that quarantine place and get all the paperwork ready AND take them on a 3 1/2 hour drive the day BEFORE you actually fly off so they can sit in their little crates overnight so they don’t miss their flight at 2pm. The dogs (2 jack russell terriers) were not impressed.

If you were beginning to feel sorry for me, don’t. I’m only moving from Australia to New Zealand. The dogs didn’t even need to be quarantined for an hour. Just pay the people a lot of money and they hand them over.

I do have a new language to learn but mostly it’s just changing around the way the vowels are pronounced. I listen to the radio and wonder if in six months I’ll be talking like that. Some lady said yesterday, “It was elicktrifying,” when talking about a performance. The vowel i sounds like a short u. The vowel e sounds like a short i. So six sounds like sux or even sex if you get someone with a heavy accent. The shopping carts are called trundlers (I kid you not, there’s even a trundler park in the parking lot at the supermarket which is a car park.) They also use the word wee a lot. We took the dogs to the vet so their chips could be registered the morning after we arrived. The vet wanted “just a wee look.” A guy who reads the news on TV was going on a “wee holiday” — until the end of February! I probably have a lot of new words to learn as I get adjusted here.

Because there are no foxes here, chickens and ducks are in the local park by the dozens and happy picnickers feed them the leftovers. People who can’t take care of their chickens just leave them at the park. Some are quite beautiful. I have no idea who gets the eggs.

Tonight is Carols by Candlelight at the Old Stone Store and Kemp House - where the first English settlers landed in New Zealand. It’s right by the one lane bridge between where we live and town. I might have a wander down tonight in my shorts and sing Jingle Bells and White Christmas. Ok, it will remind me of my upbringing in Maine and my adulthood in Tennessee where it did get cold. After all the years I’ve been away, I still can’t get my head around Christmas with daylight savings. Christmas should be cold and dark at 5:30 and dinner should be turkey or ham or duck - not cold seafood because it’s too bloody hot to cook.

So what does this have to do with feeling flirty? A lot! Put NOT in front of it and that’s how I feel after moving and cleaning and putting things away. I think I felt sexier having a root canal than I have this week. The good news is that it’s all over and I’ll sing those carols tonight and think of all you lucky people in the cold and dark eating roasted food.

Tagged

I’ve been tagged by Elaine and requested to share 7 facts about myself. I never know what to say and I feel that if I tag people they’ll think I am being a pain in the neck. Anyway, here goes.

1. In 1994 I traveled 10,000 miles for a first date with the man who is now my husband. We met through a personal ad on newsgroups at a local BBS - before the WWW existed in Orlando, Florida.

2. I love raspberries. I live in Australia and my raspberry patch is full of ripe berries. If you look closely you’ll see red around my mouth. I went to collect the eggs a few minutes ago and came back by the row of raspberries. Yum.

3. The first time I went into a sex shop I was 45 years old. They did market to men back then. Penis shaped lipstick anyone? Gag.

4. I am only five feet tall. (maybe I should say I am five feet short) I’m not overweight, I’m way under tall.

5. Meditation keeps me on an even keel, reduces stress and makes me feel terrific every day. If you’re not meditating at least 15 minutes a day, you’re probably way too stressed out to rest well at night.

6. I’m a good cook and I love to entertain. Let me know when you’re coming by.

7. I love to swim so much that I have two swimming pools.

Ok, I would like to tag..

BillyWarhol, Susan, Hey Don, SexySEO, SpeedcatHollydale, TheHousehound, Buffy

Panty lines

For years women have tried and tried to find underwear that doesn’t show a visible line or wrinkle in their clothes. Well a company has come up with the ultimate no panty line panty - sort of. Made out of 85% nylon and 15% spandex the C-String is completely invisible under your clothes and your private parts are pretty much covered. According to the website:

c-string

C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times.

At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!

Out and about: the C-String can be worn under all your favourite clothes: dresses, skirts, jeans

On the beach: the C-String can be worn alone as beachwear for the perfect all-round tan. Forget the bikini the C-Kini is where it’s at!

In the bedroom: the C-String is ultra-sexy lingerie!

Ok back to me. In case you thought I was trying to sell these - I’m not. This isn’t an affiliate link. I put this here so I could say…

What is wrong with you women?? Surely you don’t need to wear a cloth covered paperclip over your pink bits. If lines are so bad and so important to eliminate - why wear panties at all? Don’t say it’s “for protection” cause that thing wouldn’t protect you from a light breeze.

I’m all for innovation and new products but something like this is just plain silly. Go ahead, flame me, I’m old, I can take it.