L’Oreal gets a big high five from me for realizing that women of all ages, shapes and sizes benefit from seeing *real* women in their advertising. I can’t relate to a 20 something that’s so skinny she looks malnourished. I would never want to look like that and I would pass the products they sell right on by.

It’s very encouraging to see that women of all ages are considered beautiful and worthy of our attention.

To those people who worry that their looks keep them from meeting someone new, I say to them:

You will NEVER look the way you think you want to and yet, people WILL still find you attractive.

You’re not too fat. You’re not too skinny for someone to love you. You don’t need surgery or a diet unless something about you is likely to kill or harm yourself in some way. Stop finding fault with yourself. There are lots of people who’d love to be with you just the way you are.

So if you think you’ve failed because you haven’t found the right person to complete your life – remember this. Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Seriously, there are times that I look in the mirror and what looks back at me I swear is an old beat up leather handbag. I ask my husband if he still finds me sexy and he says yes. What else can he say? “Oh honey, you were sexy once, but that was a long long time ago.” I doubt he’d get much mileage out of that. It’s our 7th wedding anniversary today and he’s not going to risk the big celebration, is he? Nah.

So how can someone who’s over 50 or 60 know that they’ve still “got it” ?

For me, it’s all about how I feel. If I feel sexy in myself, I’m pretty sure that that’s the impression I pass on to my lover. How do you KNOW you’re sexy?

Lipstick doesn’t emphasize lip flaws. This is a popular misconception because too many women don’t take care of their lips properly (see first line – work to do). The article says we should be using a nightly moisturizer on our lips and exfoliating with sugar and a few drops of water. (will eating it help, I wonder?) In the morning, more moisturizer and then put on lipstick and blot and THEN use lipliner and a second layer of lipstick.

Another misconception that I’m guilty of is that bright lipstick is too flashy for daytime wear. We’re told that if our day is too boring for bright lipstick we’re destined to be dull people. If makeup is applied properly, a woman can wear any shade of lipstick at any time of the day.

Finally, there’s the myth that putting on lipstick is a waste of time because the color won’t last or it bleeds up on your upper lip. If you’ve got mini wrinkly bits on your upper lip – always use a lip liner and that holds the lipstick where it needs to be.. on your lips.

Ladies, let’s spoil ourselves with a new color this week and then upload photos of our lips. Then we can let the guys tell us if our lips are more (or less) kissable.

We hear from a lot of women that the man they are with is nearly perfect but he doesn’t kiss them the way they like to be kissed. Maybe women don’t kiss the way men like too so this could work both ways.

Take can take control:
You and your partner are kissing. You gently start to take control by placing your hands on either side of his face, holding his cheeks and guiding his lips.
In doing so, you are in control of the amount of pressure and motion of his mouth and, in turn, he feels the warmth of your hands. This can be especially good if your partner’s mouth is too loose or open for you.

Then it is your responsibility to kiss him as you LOVE TO BE KISSED.

Get him to follow your lead:
Stop when you want and tell your partner, ‘I just love kissing. It’s the one thing that gets me ______________ [fill in the blank; for example, you might add the word 'hot' or 'turned on']. Then look at him and say, ‘Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?’

Introduce a fantasy:
Tell him that you had a dream the other night about how he was kissing you — and it was fabulous. Whether or not you actually had this dream, what you need to do is have an idea about what you want to ask for. So think ahead to how you want to blend the new kissing style or technique you want with what he already does. That way, you’re not asking for a completely different thing and won’t risk offending his ego. If you can’t manage to explain what you want fully using your dream, tell him, ‘You did something like this’ and then show him what you want.

Praise your partner:
Let your partner know when he has kissed you right.

If he does something you really like, repeat it on him and ask if it feels as good to him as it did to you. To tweak his style, it’s important that you use one-word directions, such as ‘lighter,’ ‘left,’ ‘right,’ etc. Men have shared with me that sentence-long guidance feels like criticism, while one-word comments sound like gentle direction. Remember that while you may feel that the more you tell, the better, he will be hearing your words through his own sexual gender filter.

Repeat:
Don’t assume that one time through will work. Men often need reminding (yes, even when it comes to better kissing and better sex). Repeat exercises 1-4 as often as necessary. And enjoy!

Stage 1: Face Your Fears
Take your clothes off in front of a mirror and have a long hard look at yourself
For many of our ladies, taking their clothes off in front of anyone had became a massive ordeal. Stripping off in front of a mirror and taking a good hard look at yourself in the first step to facing your fears and building up your confidence.

Stage 2: Change Your Self-Perception
You’re not as big as you think you are
The media bombard us all with unrealistic airbrushed images of women every day. The magazine images of surgically enhanced women aren’t very realistic but these images portray women as beautiful and successful so it’s hard for ordinary women not to want to be and look like them. However, most normal women look well, normal but those photos can make us feel negatively about our bodies and encourage our low self esteem.

So, the second stage of looking good naked is to start waking up to the way the media works and stop comparing these images to the way you look. Wake up to the fact that you actually look pretty OK, that you aren’t as big as you think you are AND look at all the women around you — I bet most of them are the same as you.

Stage 3: See Yourself As Others See You
Learn to take compliments and focus on the positive rather than the negative
The third stage is to start focusing on the positive rather than the negative aspects of your body. Do not dismiss compliments. Hold on to all the nice things people say and ignore anything negative that might come your way.

Stage 4: Work Your Body
Wear clothes that make you look and feel good
Your clothes can have a big impact on the way you feel about yourself. Wearing clothes that flatter your shape and emphasize the best bits of your body is the best way to feel and look good. Underwear is also key. Old grey underwear can only make you feel old and grey. Structured underwear will give you more shape with your clothes on. Sexy underwear will give you a boost when your clothes have to come off.

Stage 5: Respect Yourself
Look after yourself
Your lifestyle does matter and it does effect the way your look and feel about yourself. A good healthy lifestyle will pay dividends. You will feel better but the pay off is that you will look better too.

Stage 6: Beauty Cheats
Looking good naked
What ever your size and shape feeling confident is key to looking good — whether your clothes are on or off. So now you are feeling on top of the world it’s time to start taking advantage of all the beauty treatments and products out there. Follow these rules on a weekly basis and we guarantee you will look good in the buff:

What’s yours? It might be your smile and you get nervous and forget to flash the pearly whites. It might be your posture or your memory, your kindness or compassion or you might have bedroom eyes. Whatever it is, we all have something that’s a wow factor and when the time comes we don’t maximize it like we could. If you don’t think you have a wow factor – and I think you do – you can always decide for yourself what your wow factor is.

Knowing your wow factor can give you confidence. Confident people like themselves. People who like themselves tend to be the people others want to be around. Think about it.

I have no reason for asking other than curiosity. I went shopping for bras the other day and for the first time, nearly all of them had matching panties. It made me wonder what other women wore and which ones were considered sexy.

You are what you wear.

In the words of Coco Chanel, “Dress shabbily, they notice the dress. Dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” Now, Coco may not have been talking about night wear, but it never hurts to cast aside that ripped t-shirt for the night and slipping into something a bit more sexy. I’m sure this applies to men as well.

Go shopping.

We are no longer talking about clothes. Both men and women love surprises, so after you have wooed them with dinner, lit the path to the bedroom and dressed up in some of your evening best; have one last surprise waiting for them. Some divine chocolates, chocolate body paint, sexy music, or some champagne will definitely let them know that no one is sleeping early tonight!

Let your lips do the talking.

And we don’t mean aloud. Don’t talk about the pressures of the day, what you have to do tomorrow or any outstanding problems. Give the kisses you shared on your first few dates. We promise, this is one bedtime you won’t be sleeping.

This is simply part of being human, we are creatures of habit and tend to fall into a routine because that’s what feels familiar and safe. Familiar and safe is good, but every now and then, you need to live a little, let your inhibitions go and do something different. You will be amazed at how it can rejuvenate your life!

Now on to the sex life, it is no different and will also succumb to the regular day-today routine. Many couples wonder how to spice it up – you may have tried every position you can think of or maybe you have tried having sex on the kitchen table. Try the next step in sharing the pleasure, try a sex toy! No longer the taboo subject it used to be, these days erotic sex toys are designed to make couples spice up their sex life. There is a wide range of sex toys that a couple can use.

When shopping for sex toys, shop together. Browse online, this way there is no worry about being embarrassed to walk into a store. Look together and talk about how you would use the product. The talk might make you horny and you won’t be able to wait until a toy arrives at your door! Shopping together will create anticipation and excitement, just like buying tickets to a beach holiday, you will be counting down the days until it is delivered to your doorstep. By building up this excitement, it will make it more comfortable and fun when it comes time to jump in the sack and give it a go!

As for suggestions, there is such a range of items and every couple has their own preference, so browse the ‘net for sex toys. Take a look at sex articles and read informative pages about how to use sex toys and sex toy reviews to give you some ideas on what you might like and to get your creative juices flowing (no pun intended!). You are sure to find something that sparks your interest – that in turn will spark the passion in the bedroom once again!

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