Once you have found that perfect person who compliments your personality, you settle down and live happily ever after – for the first while. Eventually, sex can become routine and regular, no matter who you are! There is a very true saying that goes: “Show me the world’s most beautiful woman and I will show you a man who is tired of having sex with her”.

This is simply part of being human, we are creatures of habit and tend to fall into a routine because that’s what feels familiar and safe. Familiar and safe is good, but every now and then, you need to live a little, let your inhibitions go and do something different. You will be amazed at how it can rejuvenate your life!

Now on to the sex life, it is no different and will also succumb to the regular day-today routine. Many couples wonder how to spice it up – you may have tried every position you can think of or maybe you have tried having sex on the kitchen table. Try the next step in sharing the pleasure, try a sex toy! No longer the taboo subject it used to be, these days erotic sex toys are designed to make couples spice up their sex life. There is a wide range of sex toys that a couple can use.

When shopping for sex toys, shop together. Browse online, this way there is no worry about being embarrassed to walk into a store. Look together and talk about how you would use the product. The talk might make you horny and you won’t be able to wait until a toy arrives at your door! Shopping together will create anticipation and excitement, just like buying tickets to a beach holiday, you will be counting down the days until it is delivered to your doorstep. By building up this excitement, it will make it more comfortable and fun when it comes time to jump in the sack and give it a go!

As for suggestions, there is such a range of items and every couple has their own preference, so browse the ‘net for sex toys. Take a look at sex articles and read informative pages about how to use sex toys and sex toy reviews to give you some ideas on what you might like and to get your creative juices flowing (no pun intended!). You are sure to find something that sparks your interest – that in turn will spark the passion in the bedroom once again!

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I found an interesting blog about learning to belly dance. It’s called The Belly Dancer’s Diary. I would love to learn how to do this. Here’s a video of one practice session. The dance is good and will get better, but I loved the cat near the end of the dance.

That was the subject of an email to our support desk today. He is a member of our dating site searching for a woman that would turn him on more than his wife who’s put on 14 pounds since they were married. Here’s his mail:

I am still very much in love with my wife, however, she has put on some weight. Not a huge amount, about 14 pounds, but enough to make it difficult for me to find her as sexy as I used to. Her wonderful personality hasn’t changed, but I find it hard to get excited when looking at her new shape. I know it sounds shallow, and I’ve tried to get over this, but it’s no use. I made a big mess of things and told her how I felt one night when we were arguing. Now that she knows how I feel, it makes her feel bad and she doesn’t feel comfortable being naked around me. This is causing a lot of tension between us. I don’t really want to find anyone new but I don’t know where to turn. Can you give me some advice?

So I replied:

Oh dear, you are a bit shallow but I admire you for writing to me for advice. At least you know you’ve got a good thing in a woman with a wonderful personality. 14 pounds is not a huge amount and shouldn’t be enough for you to lose all desire for your wife. All of your senses are involved in sparking sexual desire, particularly sight. An attractive appearance is important for many men. I think you are being too picky.

I do understand that someone can’t force himself to be attracted to someone. Stop feeling guilty because it’s impossible to make yourself feel attraction for another person. Both partners should be considerate of one another, and love and respect each other by making an effort and not taking each other for granted. If you become fat, it’s not surprising if your partner finds you less attractive, but we’re talking less than 15 pounds.

You could consider that her contentment in the relationship with you has put her where she is now. She’s been having fun, eating out, hanging around and talking with you instead of walking or doing something more energetic. Take walks together, go dancing or play tennis and she’ll lose the 14 pounds without any drama.

I feel confident in saying that you will not help her lose the weight by going on about it. You’ve told her once and trust me, she knows she’s put on the weight. Her clothes don’t fit and she’s not as comfortable as she was before.

Perhaps I’ve misread it completely and she’s unhappy and miserable and is eating for comfort. When you told her that her weight gain has made her no longer desirable, what she heard was nothing was more important than how she looked. Once she gained weight, she might as well piss off because you no longer wanted her. Look down the road and will you want her as she gets older and gets wrinkles? I promise you, she’s thinking about that right now.

If you love her as you say you do, you couldn’t think of a life without her. You wouldn’t be on a dating site looking for women more slender than your wife. If the thought of living with someone less than perfect makes you unhappy or sexually unfulfilled, let her go and find someone else who’s not as fickle as you.

What IS it with the beautiful people set that require perfection to be sexy. That’s not what sexy is to me at all. What’s sexy to me is feeling sexy. Knowing he’s thinking about me and wanting me and perhaps even fantasizing about me during the day. That gets my motor going. He’d never think about my size because that’s not the part of me that feels sexy.

What’s sexy for you?

I can’t believe I finally said those words. Since my first pregnancy when I was 5′ tall and 100 lbs wringing wet to start with and then had a baby that weighed 13 pounds, I’ve had stretch marks. I smothered myself in cocoa butter at the time because that’s what my mother said would save my skin as it had hers. Didn’t work.

So all my adult life I’ve felt that I’d be a lot sexier if I had nice smooth skin like all the models do. Remember Demi Moore in that famous photo when she was preggers? Did you see stretch marks? Maybe they were airbrushed out and if so, that’s a shame because so many of us markers were looking for them.

I must admit that my husband and my ex never had a problem with the marks and assured me that the marks didn’t affect my sexiness. Being the skeptic that I am, I just figured they wanted to get into my panties at the time.

If you’re a man and you’ve met a woman who’s had babies before, would you be turned off by lots of stretch marks? If you’re a woman who has them, does it bother you like it bothers me?

I have no idea how this works, I have never been very good at these optical illusion pictures!

The friend who sent me this said if you stare at the photo below long enough, you should be able to see the ocean.

I looked and I looked and even cleaned my glasses, but I couldn’t see any ocean! (I saw something better though)