Ladies if you’re over 40 and feeling that your use-by date is slowly inching toward you, forget it! Times they are a-changin. L’Oreal, long famous for using very beautiful and famous women to be their ambassadors in marketing their products has chosen Ines de la Fressange as this year’s model. Ines has been a catwalk model and is very beautiful AND she’s 53. Yes, I said that right.. she’s fifty three years old. How cool is that??

L’Oreal gets a big high five from me for realizing that women of all ages, shapes and sizes benefit from seeing *real* women in their advertising. I can’t relate to a 20 something that’s so skinny she looks malnourished. I would never want to look like that and I would pass the products they sell right on by.

It’s very encouraging to see that women of all ages are considered beautiful and worthy of our attention.

I talked with a couple of people in chat the other night and the topic got on looks. The woman told us she was really unattractive but she had a great personality. I asked what about her made her unattractive and she said that she was very overweight and she accepts that she’ll always be alone. If she read all the ads I read every day from men who say they really love large women, she wouldn’t think that way. The man was someone I’ve known for a long time at SexyAds and he kept interrupting her to tell her she was wrong. Until she believes that people see her differently from what she sees in the mirror, he’s wasting his breath.

To those people who worry that their looks keep them from meeting someone new, I say to them:

You will NEVER look the way you think you want to and yet, people WILL still find you attractive.

You’re not too fat. You’re not too skinny for someone to love you. You don’t need surgery or a diet unless something about you is likely to kill or harm yourself in some way. Stop finding fault with yourself. There are lots of people who’d love to be with you just the way you are.

So if you think you’ve failed because you haven’t found the right person to complete your life – remember this. Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Can you age gracefully and still be seen as sexy?

Seriously, there are times that I look in the mirror and what looks back at me I swear is an old beat up leather handbag. I ask my husband if he still finds me sexy and he says yes. What else can he say? “Oh honey, you were sexy once, but that was a long long time ago.” I doubt he’d get much mileage out of that. It’s our 7th wedding anniversary today and he’s not going to risk the big celebration, is he? Nah.

So how can someone who’s over 50 or 60 know that they’ve still “got it” ?

For me, it’s all about how I feel. If I feel sexy in myself, I’m pretty sure that that’s the impression I pass on to my lover. How do you KNOW you’re sexy?

An article in the local paper today about a woman’s lips made me stop and think that I rarely stop and think about my lips or anyone else’s. Obviously I’ve been living my life all wrong. For those of you who consider your lips or the lips of a woman who’s the object of your interest or affection to be quite important – lips are in for 2011.

Lipstick doesn’t emphasize lip flaws. This is a popular misconception because too many women don’t take care of their lips properly (see first line – work to do). The article says we should be using a nightly moisturizer on our lips and exfoliating with sugar and a few drops of water. (will eating it help, I wonder?) In the morning, more moisturizer and then put on lipstick and blot and THEN use lipliner and a second layer of lipstick.

Another misconception that I’m guilty of is that bright lipstick is too flashy for daytime wear. We’re told that if our day is too boring for bright lipstick we’re destined to be dull people. If makeup is applied properly, a woman can wear any shade of lipstick at any time of the day.

Finally, there’s the myth that putting on lipstick is a waste of time because the color won’t last or it bleeds up on your upper lip. If you’ve got mini wrinkly bits on your upper lip – always use a lip liner and that holds the lipstick where it needs to be.. on your lips.

Ladies, let’s spoil ourselves with a new color this week and then upload photos of our lips. Then we can let the guys tell us if our lips are more (or less) kissable.

I received these tips from a very dear friend of mine at SexyAds.

We hear from a lot of women that the man they are with is nearly perfect but he doesn’t kiss them the way they like to be kissed. Maybe women don’t kiss the way men like too so this could work both ways.

Take can take control:
You and your partner are kissing. You gently start to take control by placing your hands on either side of his face, holding his cheeks and guiding his lips.
In doing so, you are in control of the amount of pressure and motion of his mouth and, in turn, he feels the warmth of your hands. This can be especially good if your partner’s mouth is too loose or open for you.

Then it is your responsibility to kiss him as you LOVE TO BE KISSED.

Get him to follow your lead:
Stop when you want and tell your partner, ‘I just love kissing. It’s the one thing that gets me ______________ [fill in the blank; for example, you might add the word 'hot' or 'turned on']. Then look at him and say, ‘Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?’

Introduce a fantasy:
Tell him that you had a dream the other night about how he was kissing you — and it was fabulous. Whether or not you actually had this dream, what you need to do is have an idea about what you want to ask for. So think ahead to how you want to blend the new kissing style or technique you want with what he already does. That way, you’re not asking for a completely different thing and won’t risk offending his ego. If you can’t manage to explain what you want fully using your dream, tell him, ‘You did something like this’ and then show him what you want.

Praise your partner:
Let your partner know when he has kissed you right.

If he does something you really like, repeat it on him and ask if it feels as good to him as it did to you. To tweak his style, it’s important that you use one-word directions, such as ‘lighter,’ ‘left,’ ‘right,’ etc. Men have shared with me that sentence-long guidance feels like criticism, while one-word comments sound like gentle direction. Remember that while you may feel that the more you tell, the better, he will be hearing your words through his own sexual gender filter.

Repeat:
Don’t assume that one time through will work. Men often need reminding (yes, even when it comes to better kissing and better sex). Repeat exercises 1-4 as often as necessary. And enjoy!