Most women have had the mysterious experience of being turned on by a partners smell. A friend of mine once told me her ex-boyfriends scent made her feel safe and drawn to him, and that his smell was so distinct and attractive that even after a sweaty workout, she found him appealing. The more exercise, the better.

Though personality and looks definitely play a part in initial attraction because nobody has figured out how to get a scratch & sniff computer monitor. Smell may play a larger role than we suspect in whether we decide to meet again.. That inexplicable chemistry you feel with someone could be a subconscious scent drawing you to him or her.

The first study to indicate that chemical signals play a role in attraction was conducted by Claud Wedekind over a decade ago. Forty-four men wore the same T-shirt for three days. They refrained from deodorants and scented soaps so they wouldnt interfere with their natural smell. Women then sniffed the shirts and indicated which ones smelled the best to them. By comparing the DNA of the women and men, the researchers found that women didnt just choose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC)a series of genes involved in our immune systemwas most different from their own.

The women in this study also reported liking the scents that reminded them of their current or previous boyfriends, showing that MHC attraction is consistent. And because MHC profiles differ greatly from one person to the next, there is no universally good smell. One womans Romeo was another womans raunchy.

An interesting exception to the MHC attraction is for women taking the pill. Researchers found that pill-takers responded in almost the exact opposite manner than would be expected. Because the pill tricks your body into thinking it is pregnant, it chemically alters your sense of attraction. Instead of finding the scent of genetically dissimilar men attractive, women on the pill found the scent of men with MHCs similar to their own to be attractive.

This may be because when a woman is pregnant, she isnt looking for a new mate, and may benefit from being around kin, or those with a similar genetic make-up. But, because scent can be such a powerful indicator of a mate that is biologically compatible, what does this mean for women on the pill? Research has shown that picking a mate whose MHC is too similar to your own can result in higher rates of miscarriage and relationship difficulties like infidelity. Are contraceptive takers sabotaging their innate ability to pick a proper mate? If you’re on the pill and you keep picking losers.. maybe you’re on to something!

I suppose this explains why so many men are willing to spend money buying internet models’ worn panties.

At the end of the day our noses may help us find the mate most suited to us, but its ultimately up to our minds to decide whether or not we like what weve sniffed out.

I know, you’re thinking that to romance a man you just need to show up naked, but I think you might be wrong. So often we hear that the man should be the romantic one, and maybe 50 years ago this would have been so but this is 2008, and men like to be spoiled too. Think back to when you first met. The first dates, wining an dining, making an effort to look your best, breakfast in bed, long weekends having frantic sex. Dont you wish it was the same? Well I bet your partner also does. Instead of waiting for him to make the first move (after all we know how slow men are in the romantic take-up department. No offense guys) you take the lead and add a bit of romance into your relationship.

Show off your romantic side.

1. Pick up the phone: Give him a ring while he is at the office just to let him know that you are thinking of him. Or if you are confident with phone sex tell him what you are going to do to him once he gets home and in turn what you would like him to do to you.

2. Fill the stocking: Men love sexy lingerie just as much as women if not more. Let him know how much you want him by getting out your best panties, team them with a pair of fishnets, stilettos and seduce him tonight.

3. Feed his heart: You know the old saying the way to a mans heart is through his stomach! Well you better believe it because it works every time. Get out the best dinner set set the table with candles, put on some soft music and prepare his favorite meal. You wont even need to think of dessert because this is where he will become romantic and wisk you of to the bedroom.

4. Flirt: When was the last time you actually flirted with your partner? Go out in public (to dinner, to a party or nightclub) and try it. It will boost both your egos bring back those old feelings of lust for one an other. Think like a single person and see what happens

5. Bedroom boudoir: Set the mood in your bedroom. Clear out all the clutter, change the bed linen (bring in some silk sheets perhaps) and fill the room with scented candles. Stand a bottle of your favorite bubbly in some ice, lay your sexiest lingerie on the bed and keep a box of his favorite chocolates near by. This is also an inexpensive way to give your bedroom a new look.

6. Use toys: If you want to add some spice to your love making then what better way then to introduce some props. We are not talking about 12? dildos (unless you want to that is) it can be something as small as a silk scarf or as daring as vibrators. Your man will need never be asked to make an effort again.

7. Watch a flick: Rent a romantic movie, order a take away, get out a bottle of your favorite wine, take the phone of the hook turn out the lights and snuggle into each other on the sofa in front of the TV. The romantic flick will soon have the two of you in the mood for love.

8. Love letters: Leave him little notes in his pocket, on his pillow, next to his mother any where that he will find them that will give him a nice surprise.

9. Kiss.. him all of his body slowly

10. 3 little words: Tell him that you love him at least once a day. This will keep the love there even if you havent always got time to express it, those 3 little words is all that you need.

I was chatting online to a new friend yesterday and we began talking about her best friend who she said had been “replaced by her husband.” I thought about that for a minute before saying that maybe she wasn’t replaced at all. Maybe she was never that important to him in the first place. Maybe she was just convenient.

How many times have you heard people who’ve been divorced say that they weren’t really in love with their ex, they just thought they were? I’ve heard it. The thing to remember is, both men and women are guilty of thinking theyr’e in love. They don’t test themselves because being with *someone* is better than being alone. A few months or years later and they are unhappy and wondering how the hell to change things. Their eyes begin to wander and figure that an affair is better than hurting their spouse’s feelings.

Sometimes, and dare I say it, more than sometimes, we think we’re in love but it’s really a long-term friends with benefits situation that could end at any time if one or the other isn’t getting their sexual needs met. It looks like love because they’re all twittery, holding hands, cuddly but that’s how friends with benefits act too. We get caught up in overwhelming lust and we think it’s love. Love isn’t about sex and that’s where the confusion lies. You have sex when you’re in love but sex is not love. Love is caring about someone during the good times and more especially during the bad times. Love doesn’t look for a way out, instead it looks for a solution.

I’m not saying that every person who’s cheating isn’t in love with their spouse. I’m saying that some people were never in love in the first place.

I just read an article about a 75 year old Russian grandma that shocked doctors by requesting plastic surgery for a ‘designer vagina’ Holy Cow, that is just wrong on so many levels!

Not that I’m a prude or think that at 75 any woman isn’t entitled to a good sex life. But really, think about it. A man interested in having sex with a 75 year old woman is probably going to have crap eyesight and won’t be able to tell she’s been “aesthetically enhanced” down below. Now I’m no spring chicken myself but I can’t imagine needing cosmetic surgery on the lower playpen.

I want to stay policitcally correct here — seriously, I don’t think there are heaps of much younger men dating a 75 year old woman. I’m willing to be corrected. If there are and they are all thinking the woman needs a bit of a nip and tuck, I say dump him. Now it could be possible that this enhancement is for her own reasons. I’m having a vision of a 75 year old woman sitting with a mirror between her legs just to adore the beauty of it all. Gimme a freakin break!! Doctors who do this on women over 60 are taking advantage of the women.

Now about the guy who’s having sex with the 75 year old woman. Let’s just say he’s on the high side of 50 just to be conservative. I bet his willy isn’t going to be ready for prime time either! Men and women have been getting it on for how many thousands of years? How can it be that we’ve just now noticed that the vajayjay isn’t pretty? Ladies, it’s not supposed to be pretty – it’s there for function and most of them function pretty darn well. At least at my house anyway and I haven’t spent a lot of time looking at mine lately.

Apparently Nina, the woman who had the surgery done that this post is about, was delighted with the results and felt like a young woman again. I can see it now. She’s got wrinkles all over her face, fat ankles, tits past her waist but she’s got the vagina of a 20 year old. Yay!

I’d rather be an old sexy granny with the same goods that came from the manufacturer, how about you?

We all think about sex. Some of us way more than others but we ALL think about sex. Sometimes we think about the sexual acts that we enjoy or wish we could enjoy but sometimes we think about sex and how it relates to society as a whole. Ever wonder what your neighbors get up to ?

Seriously, everyone has sex. If we humans don’t have sex, our species will become extinct. We are hard wired from our manufacturer to need to have sex. We want sex. Many of us want a lot of sex. We enjoy it and that’s so we’ll continue to want to do it. Like food, water and shelter, sex is a necessary part of our lives. If any one of these needs is not met, our entire species is at risk.

Sadly, our religious instruction leads us to believe that sex is bad. Well, to those people I say you to that if God is perfect, nothing he creates is bad. The God I listen to wants us to live joyful lives and that includes sex. You don’t see any of God’s other animals hiding to have sex. They’re out there and they’re proud!

We can find magazines about food in every grocery store aisle in the country. There are magazines about houses and apartments everywhere. We assume that when we turn on the tap that clean water will flow out automatically.

Where do we get our sexual information? Magazines under the counter or in special shops where the windows are covered. I know I’m going out on a limb here – but I have to ask, why is sex considered bad by so many people? Why is it fine and dandy for kids to watch tv shows where people get shot and killed with blood and guts everywhere but even a mild sex scene in a show ends up with an x-rating? No problems advertising products on tv for constipation, menstruation, erectile disfunction or diarrhea so it doesn’t seem that the bodily function is the problem.

So why do we do we single out sex as something that should be treated with shame, guilt or secrecy?

Have we all bought — hook, line and sinker — all the rhetoric we’ve been fed by organized religion or the social mythology of generations who’ve gone before us? If it’s that simple, surely we can shed the shame with the same logic that has helped us realize 76 virgins are not waiting for in heaven for everyone who blows up a building.

Maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s that sex, unlike food and shelter, can’t really be done alone. Sure, you can masturbate, but that’s not *real* sex, is it? That’s an orgasm to be sure but is it really sex? Sex is something we do with another person who wants to have sex with us. Maybe if we want to have sex with someone and they don’t want to have sex with us – then it gets personal. This too seems weird to me.

I haven’t talked with anyone at SexyAds over the past 15 years that we’ve been online who has said, “Nah, I don’t like sex, I’m just here for the chat.” Most of us wish we were having more sex than we are. It won’t kill us not to have sex but like when we’re hungry and don’t have food – it’s all we think about. Sex is good for our bodies and our minds. Research shows that sex helps with our overall health and can reduce stress which can be life threatening.

People who insist that sex be hidden away and be an item of shame – what are they afraid of? It has to be fear of having the light turned on in an area they are uncomfortable with. Aren’t we developed enough to move from this fear?

Honestly, I don’t look forward to hearing the details of people’s sex lives at every party I attend. However, I don’t want to hear how gluten gives people diarrhea, or how no knead bread is our future. I’d love to see a world where everyone understands that sex is natural and everyone does it in more or less the same ways.