Is sex essential?
We all think about sex. Some of us way more than others but we ALL think about sex. Sometimes we think about the sexual acts that we enjoy or wish we could enjoy but sometimes we think about sex and how it relates to society as a whole. Ever wonder what your neighbors get up to ?
Seriously, everyone has sex. If we humans don’t have sex, our species will become extinct. We are hard wired from our manufacturer to need to have sex. We want sex. Many of us want a lot of sex. We enjoy it and that’s so we’ll continue to want to do it. Like food, water and shelter, sex is a necessary part of our lives. If any one of these needs is not met, our entire species is at risk.
Sadly, our religious instruction leads us to believe that sex is bad. Well, to those people I say you to that if God is perfect, nothing he creates is bad. The God I listen to wants us to live joyful lives and that includes sex. You don’t see any of God’s other animals hiding to have sex. They’re out there and they’re proud!
We can find magazines about food in every grocery store aisle in the country. There are magazines about houses and apartments everywhere. We assume that when we turn on the tap that clean water will flow out automatically.
Where do we get our sexual information? Magazines under the counter or in special shops where the windows are covered. I know I’m going out on a limb here – but I have to ask, why is sex considered bad by so many people? Why is it fine and dandy for kids to watch tv shows where people get shot and killed with blood and guts everywhere but even a mild sex scene in a show ends up with an x-rating? No problems advertising products on tv for constipation, menstruation, erectile disfunction or diarrhea so it doesn’t seem that the bodily function is the problem.
So why do we do we single out sex as something that should be treated with shame, guilt or secrecy?
Have we all bought — hook, line and sinker — all the rhetoric we’ve been fed by organized religion or the social mythology of generations who’ve gone before us? If it’s that simple, surely we can shed the shame with the same logic that has helped us realize 76 virgins are not waiting for in heaven for everyone who blows up a building.
Maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s that sex, unlike food and shelter, can’t really be done alone. Sure, you can masturbate, but that’s not *real* sex, is it? That’s an orgasm to be sure but is it really sex? Sex is something we do with another person who wants to have sex with us. Maybe if we want to have sex with someone and they don’t want to have sex with us – then it gets personal. This too seems weird to me.
I haven’t talked with anyone at SexyAds over the past 15 years that we’ve been online who has said, “Nah, I don’t like sex, I’m just here for the chat.” Most of us wish we were having more sex than we are. It won’t kill us not to have sex but like when we’re hungry and don’t have food – it’s all we think about. Sex is good for our bodies and our minds. Research shows that sex helps with our overall health and can reduce stress which can be life threatening.
People who insist that sex be hidden away and be an item of shame – what are they afraid of? It has to be fear of having the light turned on in an area they are uncomfortable with. Aren’t we developed enough to move from this fear?
Honestly, I don’t look forward to hearing the details of people’s sex lives at every party I attend. However, I don’t want to hear how gluten gives people diarrhea, or how no knead bread is our future. I’d love to see a world where everyone understands that sex is natural and everyone does it in more or less the same ways.


We hear it every day from men that their wives, partners or girlfriends have lost their sex drive and it’s causing distress in the relationship. We all know it’s true that some women lose their libido but what causes a normal healthy sex drive to dry up? There are lots of possible reasons reasons I suppose. I’ve always said nobody should put up with no sex until everything has been done to change the situation. A life without expression of sexuality is a life not well lived.




