We all think about sex. Some of us way more than others but we ALL think about sex. Sometimes we think about the sexual acts that we enjoy or wish we could enjoy but sometimes we think about sex and how it relates to society as a whole. Ever wonder what your neighbors get up to ?

Seriously, everyone has sex. If we humans don’t have sex, our species will become extinct. We are hard wired from our manufacturer to need to have sex. We want sex. Many of us want a lot of sex. We enjoy it and that’s so we’ll continue to want to do it. Like food, water and shelter, sex is a necessary part of our lives. If any one of these needs is not met, our entire species is at risk.

Sadly, our religious instruction leads us to believe that sex is bad. Well, to those people I say you to that if God is perfect, nothing he creates is bad. The God I listen to wants us to live joyful lives and that includes sex. You don’t see any of God’s other animals hiding to have sex. They’re out there and they’re proud!

We can find magazines about food in every grocery store aisle in the country. There are magazines about houses and apartments everywhere. We assume that when we turn on the tap that clean water will flow out automatically.

Where do we get our sexual information? Magazines under the counter or in special shops where the windows are covered. I know I’m going out on a limb here – but I have to ask, why is sex considered bad by so many people? Why is it fine and dandy for kids to watch tv shows where people get shot and killed with blood and guts everywhere but even a mild sex scene in a show ends up with an x-rating? No problems advertising products on tv for constipation, menstruation, erectile disfunction or diarrhea so it doesn’t seem that the bodily function is the problem.

So why do we do we single out sex as something that should be treated with shame, guilt or secrecy?

Have we all bought — hook, line and sinker — all the rhetoric we’ve been fed by organized religion or the social mythology of generations who’ve gone before us? If it’s that simple, surely we can shed the shame with the same logic that has helped us realize 76 virgins are not waiting for in heaven for everyone who blows up a building.

Maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s that sex, unlike food and shelter, can’t really be done alone. Sure, you can masturbate, but that’s not *real* sex, is it? That’s an orgasm to be sure but is it really sex? Sex is something we do with another person who wants to have sex with us. Maybe if we want to have sex with someone and they don’t want to have sex with us – then it gets personal. This too seems weird to me.

I haven’t talked with anyone at SexyAds over the past 15 years that we’ve been online who has said, “Nah, I don’t like sex, I’m just here for the chat.” Most of us wish we were having more sex than we are. It won’t kill us not to have sex but like when we’re hungry and don’t have food – it’s all we think about. Sex is good for our bodies and our minds. Research shows that sex helps with our overall health and can reduce stress which can be life threatening.

People who insist that sex be hidden away and be an item of shame – what are they afraid of? It has to be fear of having the light turned on in an area they are uncomfortable with. Aren’t we developed enough to move from this fear?

Honestly, I don’t look forward to hearing the details of people’s sex lives at every party I attend. However, I don’t want to hear how gluten gives people diarrhea, or how no knead bread is our future. I’d love to see a world where everyone understands that sex is natural and everyone does it in more or less the same ways.

We hear it every day from men that their wives, partners or girlfriends have lost their sex drive and it’s causing distress in the relationship. We all know it’s true that some women lose their libido but what causes a normal healthy sex drive to dry up? There are lots of possible reasons reasons I suppose. I’ve always said nobody should put up with no sex until everything has been done to change the situation. A life without expression of sexuality is a life not well lived.

Psychological Reasons

Women with a lack of confidence in themselves or women who are under a lot of stress are two of the biggest causes of low sex drive in women. Marriages that started out with a slender bride but since that day she’s gained 100 pounds often end up sexless because the woman is so ashamed of how she’s let her body go. Take the time to remind her that it’s the sexy woman inside her that excites you so much. Help to build her confidence by not reminding her that her ass is the size of a volkswagen and then asking her for sex.

Physical Reasons

A lot of women suffer a lack of libido as they get older. The old hormone thing kicks in and lots of things change for a woman. It doesn’t have to be this way. I would think a woman would discuss her lack of libido with her doctor in the same way she’d talk to her doctor about painful sex. A lot of women say they really wish they wanted more sex. Seriously. They just can’t get the desire thing going. Again, talk to your doctor. You won’t be the first to ask this question.

Did you know that women who walk at least 30 minutes a day have a higher sex drive than women who don’t get much exercise? If your lover doesn’t exercise at all, why not encourage her to walk with you every night or join a gym together.

The Pill

As a woman who was around when the pill was introduced, knowing we couldn’t get pregnant was a real boost to the sex drive for me and my friends. It also turned out that when we were on the pill all those fake hormone levels removed that peak sex drive boost we were all accustomed to during ovulation. The pill is improving every year but it’s still causing problems for some women.

Prescription Drugs

Most all drugs have side effects and a common one is reduced sex drive. Most blood pressure drugs kill a woman’s sex drive – so if a woman is on one (or two) that seem to leave her sexless, she should try another drug to see if she can control the hypertension and still have a sex life. Antidepressants, antihistamines and many other drugs alter a woman’s sexuality. The good news is there are different drugs for nearly everything and if one type lowers your libido – try another.

Women who no longer feel sexy also feel really guilty about it even if they don’t say anything. If you’ve got a woman like this, complaining, arguing or getting angry isn’t going to help. The woman needs understanding and encouragement to seek help for the situation. It’s not normal not to feel sexy at least some of the time.

Research shows that in America there is a historical jump in the birth of new babies in September. Go ahead, count ahead.. yep, 9 months from December. What that says is that more Americans are having sex during the holidays. Of course the researchers have to have their say as to why it happens but I think I know.

We’re all in a jolly mood with all the parties and gift giving and receiving and when we’re in a jolly mood we get horny. At least I do. Also, there is the Thanksgiving long weekend and all then all the days off at Christmas giving us a mini-vacation. Sometimes just a reduction in the stress gives us more oomph for outside the job.

Do you have more sex during the festive season?

Here’s a follow up post to the previous video post that I have shared with you guys about orgasm…

So what happens after the orgasm are over? Turn over and go to sleep? Say it ain’t so! For someone to turn over immediately after sex sends the wrong message. It can leave us feeling like little more than a blow-up doll or prostitute and it’s not just women who feel this way.

Make sure your lover doesn’t ever feel empty after sex by giving a bit of a cuddle. You don’t need to discuss “the relationship” nor do you need to say much of anything. You could talk about trying that new position that you’ve been thinking about for next time. It will give your lover some time to get used to the idea and get turned on by it.

Some people really want a shower after sex. It’s OK – but grab your lover and head to the shower together. It’s a good time to built intimacy. If you are completely spent after sex, you could put on some sexy music before sex and cuddle and listen to it as you fall asleep together. In a long term relationship, the more you look at lovemaking as more than penis vagina intercourse, the more sex you’ll get.

Since the 3rd century people have been reading the seven books of the Kama Sutra to learn better sexual techniques. Now there’s a newer, “classier” version that states it’s a lifestyle guide for modern men and women. Gone are the erotic drawing and sexual illustrations that have always accompanied the different translations of the original Hindu text.

In its place, Penguin Books will publish a text-only version sometime in 2011 in a pocket sized handbook. They describe it as a classy manual covering love and relationships.

A Penguin representative says this is a more accurate, authentic version of the original texts and comes without all the pornography and presenting it as a “modern and savvy guide on how to live well.”

Personally, I’ll miss all the illustrations on how to have sex like a pretzel.