Do you have days where you just want to crawl back in bed and not think about all the things you have to do?

That’s how my day started today and I can tell you that things have gone down from there. I burnt myself quite badly a couple of weeks ago and so I’m in a lot of pain. It was with boiling water and it’s big and you don’t want to know the rest. It’s gross. I started working (because I work every day) and I was uncomfortable and tired and cranky.

Some guy uploaded an erotic story and we view everything before it gets published on our site and it’s a good thing too. His story was a page and a half long and it was one sentence. Yep one sentence. So being the kind person that I am, I wrote to him and explained that nobody would read a story with only one sentence that went on for a page and a half. I even pasted his story back to him in case he hadn’t saved it. I asked him if he could please check it and add some punctuation and paragraphs.

He did his best and resubmitted it. There were paragraphs in there but it took me nearly 45 minutes to fix 328 errors in it. Now I know I should have just deleted the damn thing and just moved on but I felt bad that he was stupid and I fixed it. Then I was mad at myself for wasting all that time.

Truthfully, I’m rarely in a bad mood so when have the “can’t help its” they seem much worse than they really are. I’ve tried thinking a happy thought for 17 seconds and I smiled for 3 seconds and then I went right back to feeling pissy again.

Someone suggested that I should look at peaceful photographs. I tried that and all I saw were pictures of places I’d like to visit — without me in them.

Someone else suggested that I meditate. How can you meditate when all you really want to do is throw rocks?

What are your tricks for getting out of a shitty mood? My husband would like me to find out.

Could you imagine forgiving your partner for having an affair? No? I never thought I could either. How does a person get past the knowledge that the person they love and who they’ve been true to has shared intimate moments with another person?

Experts will tell us that nearly 50% of all relationships will have one partner (sometimes both) who will stray from the relationship to form an emotional or sexual bond with another person. They’ll also tell you that a bout of infidelity hurts more than just about anything else that can happen to us in our lives. Infidelity hurts more than the death of a parent, loss of a job or physical abuse. I believe them.

It doesn’t matter how you find out, there is no easy way to get the information that the one person you trusted with every fiber of your being has been intimate with another person. Some people find out with private detectives, some get told by their friends and some of us trip over it on a computer. It hurts no matter how you find out.

I don’t think anyone who strays sets out to hurt their spouse or partner. I believe that. I think it happens in pretty much the same way for everyone. You find someone, get to talking and one thing leads to another and before you know it, you’re in the sack playing hide the sausage.

Once the affair is over and your partner wants to “make it all good again” is it possible? Can you ever look at them without thinking of what they did with someone else? I’m determined to find out.

For me there are four things that must happen for me to begin to trust again.

1. Honesty. I want to know all the details. I don’t want to wallow in them but I want to know how it happened. I need to know. How could I have missed it for so long?
2. Time. Until I feel confident, I want to know where he is. If he wants me to trust him then he’s got to give me the tools to do so.
3. Me. I want face to face, eye to eye contact and I want it often. I want to know that he’s my other half. I want to do things together — like the old times. I suppose I want to be wooed all over again. Sweep me off my feet. Make me feel special like I did before.
4. Love. I want him to tell me he loves me. I want to hear it and often. I want to be shown that he loves me. I have always put him first and I want to feel loved like he does.

In return I will do all I can to meet his needs and continue to care for and about him as I have since we met. Will it work? I’m not sure. Will I be ok if it doesn’t work? Absolutely. I’m no clinging vine and regardless what happens I will be just fine. Maybe I have a big ego but I have always told myself, if you’re not happy, do whatever you need to be to get to that state. For me, life is all about being happy and finding joy in every day.

They weren’t kidding when they said diamonds are a girl’s best friend!

I received this in an email and it touched my heart. I hope it does yours too. We often take for granted those we love the most. This is a reminder to me to let the people I love know what they mean to me.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?”

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

“Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.”

I was perusing some blogs over the weekend and I found one that in my opinion is laughable. This bird believes that anyone who views porn is guilty of cheating on their partner or spouse. Really. I wonder how she feels about people who have real sex with someone else. I bet they have to wear shirts painted with scarlet letters and hang tin cans off their asses.

Let me be clear on this, I disagree with nearly all this woman has to say. If you think your partner, husband or wife is viewing too much porn and you need to know for sure, answering these questions with a yes means you’re in deep shit, relationshipwise. OR, you can think like I do and if your mate is watching too much porn, you talk about it. Find out what is causing that need in them. I suspect people surf the net, watch porn or chat online because they’re filling a need, whether it’s to waste time, feel titillated or feel noticed. Here’s a bit about what she had to say.

• Your partner is not as social as he used to be.

I can’t believe that porn is the biggest reason someone isn’t social any more. Maybe the job is shit or the kid got picked up for driving without a license or their parent died or a gazillion other reasons.

• Your partner lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive.

She said, “You’re noticing a decrease in physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you have sex, it’s because you are the one initiating it. Your partner is having trouble becoming sexually aroused (for example, achieving erection or having an orgasm).

Let’s see, how about they gained weight and don’t feel sexy any more, or you’ve put on weight and you’re not so attractive any more, or sex has become boring or they asked so many times and were refused that they don’t ask so much any more. Geez.

• Your partner is being uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex.

Ok, maybe, and I mean a huge maybe, watching rough porn might make some guy want to try it out. Rough porn is not the most popular porn by a long shot, so let’s talk about the person who’s drunk off his ass and can’t tell whether he’s rough or not? How about watching too many cop shows where physical force is used to convince someone that their point of view is the only right one?

• Your partner does not seem “present.”

My hubby is a programmer and I’ll be damned if I didn’t think for years he was off with the fairies dreaming up new code but I must be wrong.. he’s watching too much porn! We’re together 24/7 and have been for years, so I think I’d have noticed. To blame this lack of being “in the moment” on porn is really grasping for straws, don’t you think?

• Your partner has started to nit-pick your appearance.

Well, when my man started talking about how I looked, he was right. I was overweight and because of that I didn’t feel sexy and I didn’t wear makeup or do the things I should have done to look my best. I didn’t watch porn. No, instead I lost the weight.

• You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers from your lover.

Maybe they’re embezzling at work or maybe they have an online girlfriend or maybe a real one, or maybe they’re gambling it all away or maybe they’re drinking too much or addicted to drugs – all reasons for not telling the truth.

• Your partner is practically wed to the Internet.

Yep, all the people who are online hours and hours a day are all watching porn? I don thin so, Lucy. All those people who spend hours writing their blogs are secretly watching porn and stealing their content. I check out I can has cheezburger every day… I wonder if I’m wed to the internet.

• You’ve noticed a change in your partner’s demeanor.

She went on to say, “Feeling like a “sex pervert” can lead him to negative emotional outbursts such as picking fights and holding grudges in order to justify his secret porn use.”

Oh come on. What about people who work too much and are always tired and when they get home they’re blasted with problems with the kids, the lawn needs mowing, the kids need attention, and nobody can see that they’re drowning so they get bitchy. It happens to all of us at some point.

All of these problems could be sorted out by talking together. Stop the finger pointing and scolding and find out what’s really going on. You love this person, so help them out just as you’d hope they’d help you if the shoe was on the other foot.