In my job I hear from a lot of men who say that they’re on our site because they aren’t getting any sex at home. It’s not just one or two or just a few men, it’s many many men who come to us with this story. We hear it from women too, but not so much.

Why is it that so many women poop out in the sex department? There are some people who’ll tell you that it’s the way women are wired. We want sex til we get a man and then once we have babies we don’t really need them any more.

I think it’s way more basic than that. I think today’s lifestyles are so hectic that sex is always on the back burner. Do you make time for a loving, sexual experience like you did when you were first intimate? Maybe you do but the rest of us don’t.

Imagine a woman with 2 or 3 kids and a home to care for and a job. She gets up early, makes breakfast, gets the kids ready for school, does the dishes, makes her bed, showers and goes to work. She works a full day and she might be on her feet for much of it. She leaves work and stops at the grocery store to pick up supplies for dinner and goes home.

The kids need her attention, the house looks like crap and she’s got to start dinner. By the time dinner is cooked, eaten and cleaned up, there’s the kids’ homework to check and stories to listen to and then stories to read, there’s laundry to do and maybe a bit of vacuuming if there’s any energy left.

She falls into bed and her husband can’t understand why she doesn’t want him any more.

Now take this same woman and when she falls into bed, her husband who loves and appreciates her knows how tired her body is and gives her a wonderful massage. He takes the time to get the knots out of her shoulders and doesn’t instantly decide that the most tired spot on her body is between her legs. Trust me, she’ll see right through that one. If he relaxes her body her exhaustion will lift and she might initiate sex all on her own.

Once he has touched her with loving hands and she’s relaxed for the first time that day, she will want to hold him and kiss him. I’m of the firm belief that if you put a man and a woman together in that situation, sex just happens. It happens because both want the sensations and release that sex gives.

Notice she was hit from behind and probably by a man! I’m positive she didn’t get this by backing up.

We’re way past the year 2000 but does that mean that manners and respect are out the window? Is the anonymity of the Internet seeping into all aspects of our lives?

The reason I say this is because of an email I received this week from a woman who’d met a lovely guy through SexyAds and they’d been dating 1-2 times a week for a few months. She’d met his parents and his friends and most importantly for me, they’d been intimate on many occasions. It wasn’t a casual friendship. She went out of town on business for 3 days and came back and called him and he wasn’t at home. Ok, people go out and things come up and she expected to hear from him the following day. No call. She left a message on his answering machine. No call.

She never heard from him again.

He didn’t have the balls to say the relationship wasn’t working for him and he wanted to move on, so he just dropped off the planet. So she’s sitting back wondering if there was something she said, something she did or a past love had come back or he found someone new — she wanted closure and asked for my advice. It was simple for me to give.

“Put the bastard behind you and start answering emails from men who will be nice to you.”

This woman is university educated, has a great job and she’s good looking from the photo on her profile. She doesn’t need to feel second class because this guy didn’t have any class at all.

Would you end a relationship by disappearing? Of course you wouldn’t, but some are and it’s not good enough.

We all know someone, maybe even ourselves, who stick in shitty relationships for all sorts of weird reasons. They’re miserable, their kids are miserable and yet they stay like they’ve been nailed to the chair. They look awful and they often feel awful.

Two studies conducted recently by the University of Texas and University College in London show that sticking it out in an unhappy relationship can make you sick. The real kind of sick, not the “I’m sick of looking at you!” sick. The illnesses range from general unwell to heart disease and researchers are convinced that the stress at home is what’s doing the dirty to their bodies.

The research concludes that putting up with an unsatisfactory relationship may very well erode your health.

So if you are in an unhappy relationship or marriage, best you start talking out your problems or you risk a dodgy ticker. It turns out that the phrase “broken heart” is as physical as it is emotional.

Is it possible to let someone down softly? Can you reject someone you once loved without them feeling pain?

Actually.. no, you can’t. It’s gonna hurt them a lot, especially if they have very strong feelings for you.

Should you put it off hoping that their feelings will lessen over time?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

A guy said that to me the other day. He was going to hang around until she was ready to kick him out but he’d date new women on the side til he found someone new. At least he was getting a clean house, 3 meals and sex when he wanted it.

I nearly threw up.

How unfair is that? He’s moving on - definitely on the QT and she’s happily humming on thinking he’s committed to the relationship.

He’s a selfish, lazy coward. I’d feel the same way if a woman said she wouldn’t say anything for fear of losing her meal ticket.

What’s wrong with people like that?

Folks, if you are truly unhappy in a relationship, do the right thing. Treat your partner with respect for all the good times in the past. Think golden rule and you’ll understand what I mean. You’d want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. Sure it’s going to be painful but they’ll be able to move on and find someone who will love them just as they are. That person exists — someone exists for every one of us, I’m sure of it.

rant over