It’s amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation…

Read aloud for best results. Be warned, you’re going to find yourself talking “funny” for a while after reading this.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review…

Room Service (RS): “Morny. Ruin sorbees”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service”

RS: “Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??”

G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”

RS: “Ow July den?”

G: “What??”

RS: “Ow July den?…pry, boy, pooch?

G : “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”

RS: “Ow July dee bayhcem…crease?”

G: “Crisp will be fine.”

RS : “Hokay. An San tos?”

G: “What?”

RS: “San tos. July San tos?”

G: “I don’t think so”

RS: “No? Judo one toes??”

G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.”

RS: “Toes! toes!…why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”

G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes,an English muffin will be fine.”

RS: “We bother?”

G: “No..just put the bother on the side.”

RS: “Wad?”

G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”

RS: “Copy?”

G: “Sorry?”

RS: “Copy…tea…mill?”

G: “Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.”

RS: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy….rye??”

G: “Whatever you say”

RS: “Tendjewberrymud”

G : “You’re welcome.”

ANY QUESTIONS??

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.

As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

I cracked up when someone emailed this to me today. At my age, I’ve gotta keep the giblets out of the way when I make gravy!