If a man asks a woman out, should he expect to pay the evening’s expenses?

Yes. If a man invites a woman out, he should plan on paying the bill.

If a woman asks a man out, should she expect to pay the evening’s expenses?

Yes, If a woman invites a man out, she should plan on paying the bill.

While I might be old fashioned and think a man should do the inviting and the paying for the first date, it’s 2007 people, it’s not just the man who does the inviting any more. While it might be most common for the man to do the inviting, there is nothing at all wrong with a woman inviting a man out to dinner. Ask any man you know if he’d feel flattered that a woman has invited him to dinner and I’ll wager that most would say yes.

Once the first date is over and perhaps the second, it’s time to be practical and fair about what is becoming a friendship on its way to becoming a relationship. The days of most women earning little more than minimum wage is over. Some women are making very good money these days so why should the man pay for everything? We wanted to be equal and this is certainly a part of that.

If you’re a woman and your salary is more than his, you should be paying a higher percentage of times or definitely always splitting the bill. Don’t assume that entertaining you is easy for him. He has asked you out because he likes you and wants to spend time with you, but that doesn’t ease the financial burden on him one bit.

If you like him and want to see date number 2 and date number 3, offer to share the bill. He’ll know in an instant that you’re there because you want to be with him. You’re not a gold digger looking to be wined and dined and shown a good time.

Women who make much less than the man they’re dating can choose to cook a nice meal for him at home. A lovely meal with candlelight and soft music is often a much nicer experience than going out.

The best advice I have is to talk about it before the date starts. Then you both know what to expect. If the man expects the woman to pay and she’s not expecting to pay and doesn’t bring a credit card or cash, there could be embarrassment and that is not going to lead to staying over for breakfast. Unless one of you is rich, everyone is in the same boat financially. We all have expenses and some times are easier than others.

It’s fine to say, “Hey, how about inviting me to dinner this time.” If I liked him I’d say yes.

Last night was a celebration of sorts around here. Our house is sort of sold and sort of not. So we needed to have a sort of celebration for the sort of sold. I cooked a lovely dinner of steak and red wine sauce with baby vegetables. It was yummy. I didn’t bake anything for dessert because I had a couple of brownies left over from the day before and figured with a big dinner we didn’t need much.

My lovemuffin said he’d get the brownies and on the way back to the table he dropped one. He said it was mine that fell. (I didn’t buy this for a moment but I went along - it was a celebration after all.)

Here’s the dilemma. Is the rule still valid that if you pick it up off the floor within 15 seconds you can still eat it?