How can you tell whether someone is replying to you because they think you’re hot looking and they are really interested in getting to know you or if they are just being polite?

Does the writer ask any questions of you or do they only answer the ones you have asked but gives no room for follow-up questions? If you write again and it takes quite a while to get a reply, they’re just being polite and you should move on to someone who’s more interested in you.

If you receive an email from another member, it’s great to give a reply to everyone even if they’re not for you. They’ve taken the time to compose an email to you, so let them know you read it. Being polite is good but I’d prefer someone who is polite and says thanks for writing but I don’t think we’re a match. Then I can move on and contact others.

Remember, if you get an email and it doesn’t feel right in your gut, don’t get involved. I am a firm believer that our gut reaction is always right, even when our head says they’re drop dead gorgeous and our heart goes pitty pat. You want the best person for you, not an ornament or someone who’s a right pain in the ass.

You know…there’s something about you I like. I can’t put my finger on it…but there’s something about you that makes you attractive.

You’ve got charisma!

How do I know? — You’ve got charisma because you’re open to the world around you and ready to learn new things that the universe has to offer. And if there’s one characteristic you always find in charismatic people, it’s openness.

You might not know that you have it but I can sense it.

Charisma is easy to spot. You could probably name a dozen “charismatic” people you know in politics, the entertainment industry, or your personal life. But even though it’s easy to spot, charisma isn’t so easy to break down into its key components.

The “It” Factor

It’s not so easy to identify exactly what it is about a person that makes him or her charismatic. You know when someone’s got “it;” you just can’t quite define what “it” is.

Charisma is an attractiveness that goes beyond good looks
– an appeal that can’t be labelled
– captivating quality that isn’t the result of simple intellectual brilliance or a terrific sense of humor.

Most people see charisma as something elusive and unachievable—a kind of magical, mysterious magnetism that you’re either born with or not. Nothing could be further from the truth!

You can develop your own charisma.

Charisma is defined as “a certain presence.” When a charismatic person enters a room, their mere presence draws attention and their energy may radiate to enliven the entire gathering. They have self-confidence and the ability to pass that on to others.

It does take some work to improve your charisma.
(Don’t worry…the work is actually fun)

1. You’ll get far more respect than the average person.
2. People will be drawn to you without any effort on your part.
3. You’ll exude self-confidence.
4. You’ll seem powerful without being intimidating.
5. You’ll put people at ease and make them feel understood.
6. And you’ll be able to easily get what you want, because people will instinctively want to help you.

Everyone in your surroundings will be influenced by you. People will seem happier when they’re around you. They’ll feel better about themselves as they try to emulate you.

Honestly, your charisma makes you irresistible.

Charismatic when speaking
We tend to equate charisma with a type of sex appeal or charm, but you can find charismatic leaders who were pretty darn unattractive. Look at British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, unarguably tremendously charismatic, but you wouldn’t choose him for a one-night-stand.

One ability of a charismatic person is eliciting images in the mind of a follower or acquaintance. Words that make it easy to “see” the message that someone is trying to get across.

Speak from within
You’re probably like most people; you don’t involve your body in your speaking. You take shallow breaths and when you speak, the resonance of your voice probably comes mainly out of your throat, neck and head. Practice deep breathing and let the sound come from deeper in your body.

Exercise: Open Up and Say Ahhhhh. Try breathing deeply and saying “ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh” with each breath, letting the sound come out of a lower place in your body. Then try speaking. You’ll find that your voice is more resonant and easier to listen to. Practice every day and after a while your habit of breathing will change, and your vocal tone will change along with it.

Speak with enthusiasm
Many people who have been told that they lack charisma have usually gotten into the habit of never showing any real excitement or emotion about anything.

Charismatic, attractive people, on the other hand, are good at conveying their enthusiasm about things in their lives by the way that they speak. You can learn to do this by practicing speaking excitedly about things.

Again, it’s by practice. Choose a topic and practice speaking about that topic with enthusiasm. Really let yourself go, and get excited about it! It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about sex, a recipe for brownies, baseball, your business, or world politics. The subject doesn’t matter nearly as much as your ability to convey your excitement about it.

Charismatic people know what they want
Many people who come across as boring and un-focused were not rewarded during their formative years for speaking with certainly or decisiveness. As a result, they’ve come to believe that the best way to get along in life was to stay “under the radar,” and to never appear too committed to anything

That’s okay if you just want to “get along” and you don’t mind being completely devoid of charisma, plus all the benefits that charisma brings.

If you’d rather do more than just get along, if you’d like to really be charismatic in your personal and business life, it’s time to start experimenting with speaking with certainty.

Things to do

Emphatically yes you can flirt on the net. It’s done a bit differently than face-to-face but if you think about it, it’s not a whole lot different. In person you can rely on body language to help you out but what does your body language “say” without words? It’s showing another person that you just might be interested.

On the net you have the same capability as long as you think about what your goal is. You want to get someone’s attention to let them know that you think they’re hot or pretty or handsome and maybe they should consider getting to know you.

How do you flirt on the net?

You start with a compliment. If someone has a blog, you post a complimentary comment or a joke related to their post. If you’re on a dating site, make a comment about a photo. In both instances you’re showing that (1) you have looked at their blog or photo and (2) you’re interested enough to take the time to send them a note.

If your hook, the compliment, works, they’ll write back to say thanks and let you know that they’ve looked at your blog or ad or photo or profile. Now’s the time to set that hook and find out how compatible you might be. Send an email and give a little bit more information about yourself, what you enjoy doing and say something about what things in your life you would like to share with them. Before you know it, you’ll be dating.

Guys, sometimes this is where you flub it. You’ve sent the comment and receive a reply and when you set the hook you fall back into old patterns and write something sexy that should wait until AFTER the hook is set. Remember the old line where the woman wants to be treated like a lady in public and like a slut in private? You’re still public. She hasn’t invited you to speak privately yet so don’t mess it up.

I’ve seen men have a really nice woman’s attention and write back about how talented his tongue is and does she do anal. DELETE. All that effort up in smoke.

Ladies, you know that men are dying to get into your panties so make sure you give a guy the right signals. Don’t send him a picture of you naked or showing lots of cleavage and then be pissed off because he replied to the photo.

Flirting is a great way to get noticed. You can flirt with 50 people or more and reel them in one by one until you find one that’s a keeper.

We get told a lot by women and some men that SexyAds is a great place because we’re sexy but not crude. We have always tried to stay as classy as we could while still hovering on the edge of naughty. That’s our space. That’s what sets us apart from the others because many and dare I say most adults like to feel naughty from time to time.

I know, you’re thinking – but I see a some rude ads on Plentyoffish.com and Yahoopersonals.com and I get some pretty crude emails on all 3 sites. That’s what I’d like to talk about today. It IS possible to be really sexy without being crude.

I got 3 emails today from men I had never heard from before. The first one said, “Do you do anal?” I replied that if that was how he introduced himself he must be a barrel of laughs at parties. The second one said, “Can I ask if you’d send me nude pictures of you if you don’t mind?” I replied that he could ask but the answer was no. Remember I have never heard from these men before. The third was my favorite. “You’re nearly as old as my grandmother, is a blow job better without teeth?” After convincing myself he was 23 and stupid I hit the delete button. (My teeth were not purchased..)

Now my ad says I own SexyAds (with my husband of course) and I’m not looking for anything but friends. I’m assuming these 3 didn’t bother to read my ad so I’m hoping that if I HAD been looking for someone, the emails wouldn’t have been any more explicit than what I got.

The reason I’m writing about this topic today is because I read a couple of ads from women with very similar wording. One was the bit on the front page that said, “I need you to know that I’m a very sexual person, but I’m not a slut.” The other said, “If you send me pictures of your penis or talk to me like I’m trash I will not reply and I will delete and block you from contacting me again. I’m a class act. I’m sexy and I love to have sex but there is a time to be crude but it’s not before we say hello for the first time.”

I can’t count the number of ads that say, “please don’t send me a cock shot” or “don’t send me your penis pic or if you MUST send a photo of your penis, please send another one of your face with a smile.” Guys, they’re saying it for a reason.

There was a fantastic blog this week about the same sort of thing. A woman said that if you don’t go to the supermarket or to parties or church and waggle your dick at people, don’t do it to women here. I look at the men who are really successful at grabbing a lot of babes and get a lot of horizontal action and to a man, they don’t need to be crude to pick up chicks – of any age. One guy (who gets lucky often) had a good suggestion too. He said that if women would tell men that their email was unacceptable, the standard of emails would improve.

I’m not saying that you should never do sexy talk, God forbid, no. That’s what we’re all about – getting you to talk sexy! I want you to get to first base and I see too many of you struggling and not making the connections you should. You’re attractive, intelligent men – you can do this. Make friends with her and then she’ll want to see everything you’ve got to show and you’ll get something from her too – something other than a rejection.

I met my husband through a personal ad on the net and if he had sent me a photo of his dick SexyAds wouldn’t be here today. I’d be still living in Florida and he’d still be in Australia with those pics of his dick.

The old rule still applies. If you’re respectful, interesting and fun – she’ll jump YOUR bones, you won’t have to coerce her into anything.

I swear, it’s getting to the point that everything we eat and everything we do is going to cause cancer. I don’t want to put down the medical profession and they could very well be right, but geez, asking us to give up oral sex is going too far. Here’s an article I read at WebMD.com.

Changing sexual practices have led to a dramatic rise in throat cancer in the United States over the past two decades, and experts say they fear an epidemic of the disease.

The comments were made Wednesday at a news conference held by the American Association for Cancer Research to discuss research into the role of the sexually transmitted human papilloma virus ( HPV) in head and neck cancer.

Increasing rates of HPV infection, spread through oral sex, is largely driving the rapid rise in oropharyngeal cancers, which include tumors of the throat, tonsils, and base of the tongue, said Scott Lippman, MD, who chairs the thoracic department at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.

Studies of oropharyngeal tumor tissue stored 20 years ago show that only around 20% are HPV positive, Lippman said. Today it is estimated that 60% of patients are infected with the virus.

“The percentage of oropharyngeal cancers that are HPV positive is much higher now than it was 20 years ago,” he said. “This is a real trend, and that is why there is concern of an epidemic given that fact that oropharyngeal cancer is increasing at an alarming rate.”

American Cancer Society Chief Medical Officer Otis Brawley, MD, said as many as half of the oropharyngeal cancers diagnosed today appear to be caused by HPV infection.

“Changing sexual practices over the last 20 years, especially as they relate to oral sex, are increasing the rate of head and neck cancers and may be increasing the rates of other cancers as well,” he said.

Condoms for everything?