We all looked at each other and we all waited to see who’d answer first and nobody did. The topic changed and we went on to some ordinary subject.

A while later one of the women said, “you know, I’ve been thinking about it and I think I’m horniest after reading an erotic story or bits of a book with an erotic scene in it. I can always put myself in the picture and it gets me going.”

That started everyone talking. It seems that there could be reliable triggers that work for some people. One woman said that when she was cooking and smelled the spice cumin, she would start thinking about sex. My friend Ret said it was her husband’s smell of “after shower and deodorant”, she couldn’t resist him. There was a group of 9 women and not one woman had the same trigger.

Do you have a trigger that you know will always get your motor going?

So what about ads from women? I’ve got to say there are very few ads from women who request the lower 40 to be clipped with a number one. I have to ask myself is it because women don’t care or is it because women don’t need to worry about it just yet because they haven’t decided whether they want to see the lower 40 just yet?

How many men shave or even trim the pubes? I’ll be honest and say the only men I’ve been with who shaved are the ones I did the shaving on. Granted it’s been a while since I’ve been with a man other than my husband but still… I’m not so old that I can’t remember.

We see often that men complain about a hairy pussy and pubes between their teeth during oral sex as to why they want their women to shave. Why the double standard then? (No, I’m not talking to you, the one who’s got a nice, slick willy, I’m talking to that other guy.) I say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and if you’ve got the long and curlies (or long and straights) and you ask for a shaven pussy, I say, “Blah with you!”

I’m not sure how big the group of women was that was surveyed to give their favorite fantasies, but I suspect they are very typical. I’ve seen quite a few of these mentioned in the SexyAds forums a time or two!

* Sex between student and teacher
* Sex in public or in a public place
* Sex with a multitude of partners
* Sex in a place where a person might be caught in the act
* Having sex outdoors
* Sex, pretending you are a prostitute
* Acting as if inexperienced sexually or acting as a virgin
* Having sex with someone considered inappropriate such as a nun or a priest
* Having sex with a famous person or fictional character
* Trying sexual positions or approaches a person may not be practicing in real life
* Wearing the clothing of the opposite sex or being forced to wear this clothing.

I love that my sexual fantasies are not the same as my sexual reality. I can fantasize about sex with any number of men without committing adultery in my heart. I can imagine myself with .. well, best leave that for another article, ok?

Most research on sexual fantasies points to the fact that a healthy sexual fantasy life goes hand in hand with a healthy overall sex life. People who have sexual fantasies are more likely to be sexually satisfied, and they even have more sex. So if you have fantasies, you’re on the right track!

Occasionally some people feel bad or guilty about having fantasies that don’t include their spouse. That’s crap! The only time a fantasy can cause a problem is if your partner wants to act one out and it’s something that you don’t want to do. My advice is to say no. You’ll hate it and your partner will resent it so you won’t get any brownie points for “giving in.”

I think there’s nothing better than having a quiet cuddle and talking about fantasies. I ALWAYS get in the mood. How about sharing yours?

There are heaps of stories written by men and they are quite graphic — more like a porn movie where it’s all slam bam and do it again. Women enjoy a story not a series of actions by the characters. I was approving one at SexyAds yesterday and there was no story to it. I deleted it. The guy wrote how he had sex this way and then flipped her over like a pancake and did it again and it was 500 words of the same thing over and over. Bleh..

Women aren’t like men who say they read Playboy just for the articles. Women read erotic stories for the words.

At the end of a really long day with work, kids, house chores, cooking, shopping – it’s sometimes difficult for a woman to get in the mood for lovemaking when all she wants to do is sleep. Some women read a story and they’re put into a different place emotionally and feel much sexier than they did before they started reading.

The husband of a good friend says he loves it when he sees Marnie reading “her stories” because he knows once she’s done he’s in for a good time. He said that she will often want to try something new that she’s read in one of her stories and he just loves that.
Marnie says she’s “lead a vanilla life for a long time and just wants to see what it’s all about.”

I think she’s on to something.

If you want to get more sex or you wish that you felt like having sex more often, then go through your wardrobe and toss out those baggy sweatpants and oversized paint splattered t-shirts. You don’t have to go out looking like a supermodel but you should always look your best, even when you’re sitting at home. Look at the woman in the photo. Does she feel sexy in those clothes? Probably not.

An old friend of mine, who I think is the sexiest woman on the planet, would always look neat, sexy and well groomed no matter if I saw her at 8am on a Tuesday morning or at 10pm at a Friday night party. One day I asked Margaret why she spent so much time doing her hair and makeup when all she was going to do was mow the lawn. Her answer felt like a smack upside the head.

When I wake up in the morning I have a choice. I can go around looking like a slob and my energy feels the same way. When I used to dress tacky I always felt as tired as my clothes looked. Then over time I noticed that when I got up, did my hair, put on makeup and wore clothes that didn’t look like I slept on them all night, I felt better. I had more energy. I felt sexy.. and I got more sex because I wanted more sex. It felt good. So I threw out everything that didn’t make me feel sexy.

So I took a page out of Margaret’s book of life and have always remembered that when I got up and said, “I’m not going anywhere today so I don’t need to do my hair or put on makeup.” I always feel better and I get more done when I feel good about the way I look.

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