I was talking with some friends over the weekend and you know how sex seems to come up after you’ve had a few drinks. The question for the night was, is there a certain time, a certain place or after a certain activity that you want sex more than at other times?

We all looked at each other and we all waited to see who’d answer first and nobody did. The topic changed and we went on to some ordinary subject.

A while later one of the women said, “you know, I’ve been thinking about it and I think I’m horniest after reading an erotic story or bits of a book with an erotic scene in it. I can always put myself in the picture and it gets me going.”

That started everyone talking. It seems that there could be reliable triggers that work for some people. One woman said that when she was cooking and smelled the spice cumin, she would start thinking about sex. My friend Ret said it was her husband’s smell of “after shower and deodorant”, she couldn’t resist him. There was a group of 9 women and not one woman had the same trigger.

Do you have a trigger that you know will always get your motor going?

I read lots of ads as you’d expect me to at SexyAds.com and there seems to be no middle ground in genital shaving. Way more men write about wanting a woman to look like a little girl; all hairless and soft than the other way around. There are also those men who don’t want a woman to shave anywhere. She can gladly keep her bush, underarm hair, leg hair and her moustache too. Few men don’t have an opinion on genital shaving.

So what about ads from women? I’ve got to say there are very few ads from women who request the lower 40 to be clipped with a number one. I have to ask myself is it because women don’t care or is it because women don’t need to worry about it just yet because they haven’t decided whether they want to see the lower 40 just yet?

How many men shave or even trim the pubes? I’ll be honest and say the only men I’ve been with who shaved are the ones I did the shaving on. Granted it’s been a while since I’ve been with a man other than my husband but still… I’m not so old that I can’t remember.

We see often that men complain about a hairy pussy and pubes between their teeth during oral sex as to why they want their women to shave. Why the double standard then? (No, I’m not talking to you, the one who’s got a nice, slick willy, I’m talking to that other guy.) I say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and if you’ve got the long and curlies (or long and straights) and you ask for a shaven pussy, I say, “Blah with you!”

Why are more erotic stories read by women than men? It’s how we’re wired. We love to read stories and imagine ourselves playing a part. We fantasize while we’re reading and for most of us, it really gets our motors going.

There are heaps of stories written by men and they are quite graphic — more like a porn movie where it’s all slam bam and do it again. Women enjoy a story not a series of actions by the characters. I was approving one at SexyAds yesterday and there was no story to it. I deleted it. The guy wrote how he had sex this way and then flipped her over like a pancake and did it again and it was 500 words of the same thing over and over. Bleh..

Women aren’t like men who say they read Playboy just for the articles. Women read erotic stories for the words.

At the end of a really long day with work, kids, house chores, cooking, shopping – it’s sometimes difficult for a woman to get in the mood for lovemaking when all she wants to do is sleep. Some women read a story and they’re put into a different place emotionally and feel much sexier than they did before they started reading.

The husband of a good friend says he loves it when he sees Marnie reading “her stories” because he knows once she’s done he’s in for a good time. He said that she will often want to try something new that she’s read in one of her stories and he just loves that.
Marnie says she’s “lead a vanilla life for a long time and just wants to see what it’s all about.”

I think she’s on to something.

I hear so many people complaining that they aren’t getting enough sex and then I see them or see photos and holy cow – some of the stuff they wear should have been tossed into the trash ages ago.

If you want to get more sex or you wish that you felt like having sex more often, then go through your wardrobe and toss out those baggy sweatpants and oversized paint splattered t-shirts. You don’t have to go out looking like a supermodel but you should always look your best, even when you’re sitting at home. Look at the woman in the photo. Does she feel sexy in those clothes? Probably not.

An old friend of mine, who I think is the sexiest woman on the planet, would always look neat, sexy and well groomed no matter if I saw her at 8am on a Tuesday morning or at 10pm at a Friday night party. One day I asked Margaret why she spent so much time doing her hair and makeup when all she was going to do was mow the lawn. Her answer felt like a smack upside the head.

When I wake up in the morning I have a choice. I can go around looking like a slob and my energy feels the same way. When I used to dress tacky I always felt as tired as my clothes looked. Then over time I noticed that when I got up, did my hair, put on makeup and wore clothes that didn’t look like I slept on them all night, I felt better. I had more energy. I felt sexy.. and I got more sex because I wanted more sex. It felt good. So I threw out everything that didn’t make me feel sexy.

So I took a page out of Margaret’s book of life and have always remembered that when I got up and said, “I’m not going anywhere today so I don’t need to do my hair or put on makeup.” I always feel better and I get more done when I feel good about the way I look.

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