One of the biggest problems for women looking for dates on the Internet is saying no thanks. I was talking with one of our members at SexyAds.com today who said she’d narrowed down her list of potential keepers to 3. She thought about it and analyzed her feelings and decided she didn’t feel any sexual attraction to one of the men. So far, so good, right? She’d had enough responses to narrow down to three and then found 2 she wanted to check out further.

She told the man that she liked him as a friend but couldn’t see any relationship because she was not sexually attracted to him at all. Instead of thanking her for her honesty and moving on, which is what you’d do, right? No no, here’s what he did.

He wrote back and asked what he’d done wrong. She told him he’d done nothing wrong at all, it had nothing to do with him but it was her lack of sexual attraction for him and that was nature. Still, that wasn’t enough.

He wrote back and this time began belittling her for not realizing what a catch he was. I would have tossed it in the bin but she chose to answer one more time and said she was sorry he was hurt but she had done nothing to hurt him other than to say she wasn’t attracted to him and wished him well in finding someone who would be really attracted to him.

Did he move on?

No, of course he didn’t. He wrote again and this time was abusive and mean.

That’s where I come in because she asks me what to do and should she leave the website because she feels bad that she’s hurt this poor guy. Poor guy? It drives me nuts. Men say they are angry that women won’t answer every email and then when they do they get shit like this to deal with.

If you’re a guy and you’re looking for love online. Please, please be grateful that someone says no thanks and move on to better prospects. You’ll get confirmation that the woman was real and that your mail was read and next time maybe change your response a little bit.

Would you date someone with an age difference of more than 10 years? Personally I have always felt more comfortable with someone near my own age. We have similar memories and similar experiences in time. I remember Kennedy being assassinated. I’d feel weird with someone who said, “who?”

The photo is Fred Thompson, the actor, former Tennessee senator and presidential hopeful with his much younger wife.

My friend Jack also prefers a much younger woman. He says it makes him feel younger. I think about dating a man in his late 20’s and people would wonder if I was his mother or worse, his gran. It might be terrible to admit but when I see a guy in his early 60s with a cute young thing I think to myself, “gramps.” I don’t see the attraction personally. Oh yes, I can see the physical attraction to a beautiful young woman, for sure, but after the sex is over, what else do they have in common? What’s the attraction on her part? Money? I want someone to enjoy my company and me enjoy his and for longer than a roll in the hay.

I think it tends to be creepy when you date someone close to or younger than your children. Stay away from creepy.

Perhaps I should admit that my husband is 6 years younger than me but that’s it.. that’s as low as I go!

Tennis star Maria Sharapova recently said that any future husband may have to fight for her affections with her dog. It seems that her potential husband won’t be alone.

A British survey has revealed the extraordinary lengths people will go to for their pets.

Almost one third of the respondents said they would sell valuable personal possessions to pay a large vet bill, and about 11 per cent would even re-mortgage their house.

But, it’s the women’s devotion to their four legged companions that stands out.

When asked who they would insure first, almost two thirds more women than men said they would choose their pet over their other half.

It seems a woman will stand by her dog, rather than man.

So men, make pals with the dog because that’s the jury you have to convince!

Are you realistic about what to expect your date’s body to look like? If you’re 20 years old, maybe you’ll find someone with a perfect body, but if you’re older, you need to be aware that life impacts almost everyone’s body.

Consider these facts:

The average American woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 140 pounds.

The average American model is 5’11” tall and weighs 117 pounds.

Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women.

If you’re considering dating a 36 year old woman who’s had 2 or 3 children, her body is not going to be perfect. She might have stretch marks on her abdomen or breasts, her tummy might not (probably won’t be) taut and by this year she’ll start having a few crow’s feet around her eyes. Does that diminish her attractiveness? Not one bit, I say. It means that she’s lived. She’s had experiences to talk about and rejoice about. Her life up to this point creates character in her body.

So if you’re seriously looking for someone kind, sexy and loving in your life, disregard perfection on the outside and look for it inside. It’s the inside person that’s going to make you happy in and out of the bedroom.

Have you met someone online or maybe in person and you really wanted to date them? Then when you finally went out on that first date you experienced a few red flag warnings? Don’t disregard them. Those warnings are serious and you should listen.

Does this person have a controlling, aggressive behavior towards you or someone who served you? Did he yell at the waiter? Did she rant at the checkout chick? This is a no-brainer for me but many people don’t listen to those warning signs until it’s too late and then it’s tough to get out. NOBODY has the right to tell you what to do - ever. Even if you decide to marry, that’s not a slave contract.

Does this person come with extra baggage that will be tough to handle? Has he or she recently separated or divorced? Got kids? Only child caring for elderly parents? It’s not a relationship stopper but you will have to show a good deal of patience to sort thought it.

Does this person match your level of education? Is he or she intelligent enough to keep you satisfied when you’re not in bed? While you can be happy with anyone if that’s what you choose to do, if there are niggling feelings that it’s not “enough”, then it probably isn’t.

Does this person make himself or herself available as often as you want to see him or her? If you get more excuses than dates, maybe someone new would be better.

Has this person ever ended a relationship because he or she cheated on their spouse? Maybe it’s with you, but what’s past is often prologue and you might be the victim this time.

Does this person argue about everything and continue until you wear out and say, “ok you win, you’re right?” You will always feel second rate in this situation.

Does this person have a lot less in money and material things than you do? One word - golddigger. Not always, but you must be prepared to keep what’s yours secure until you know for sure.

Do you know enough about this person to feel secure? Anyone who seems secretive and private about personal issues either has a problem or is already married to someone else. Check it out.

Do your sexual appetites and interests match? Being with someone who’s really into bondage or dominance and you aren’t, will cause huge frustration. Maybe not right away but long term you’ll want someone who better matches what trips your trigger

These are only a few red flags you should consider and on their own, I would say that the only one that would be a total deal breaker is the controlling bastard or bitch. The others require you to do a bit of investigation and soul searching to determine if this person is someone you want to spend a lot of time with long term.