Last week I received an email with a story from a SexyAds member in England who had chatted with a new friend for a while and finally decided to meet.  She’s recently gone through a rough patch of life and was really looking forward to catching up in person.

They’d exchanged photos so they both knew what to expect — or maybe not.

She went to the restaurant where they were supposed to meet and she watched and watched for her friend to arrive.  She thought she’d been stood up and then a man walked in looking nothing like the photo and walked up to her and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

She was floored!  He was easily 25 years older than the photo, had far fewer teeth than are required for a full meal and his command of the Queen’s English was dismal.

You’re wondering how she handled it, right? She did what any other woman would do.  She went to the ladies’ room and texted her friends and had a hilarious laugh at this poor man’s expense.  Underneath it all though, she was bitterly disappointed that she’d put heaps of effort into this friendship and he turned out to be a liar.

Folks, while looks are important in every relationship, what you look like might be exactly what someone else is seeking. (all except the teeth thing.. most people expect teeth in their date’s mouth, sorry.)

I know how stressful it is if you don’t have a lot of confidence in your looks. I went 10,000 miles for my first date with Jayce and I was too afraid to send him my photo because I didn’t want him to barf.  I knew if he met me he’d love me, (no problem with ego here) and he did.

The same thing can happen to you.  More people hold honesty and respect as more important than looks –  but what is considered attractive is different for all of us.  Nobody can explain attraction but we know what we like when we see it.

Okay, you’ve met someone who lives a fair distance away from you.  The two of you have been chatting back and forth online and you’ve talked on the phone a few  times and now you want to meet in person but you live too far to drive and get back home in one day. What plans do you make about sleeping arrangements?

Back in the olden days when I went 10,000 miles for my first in-person visit with my husband we didn’t make any promises about what would happen between us. There was no talk about how much sex we’d have or what sort of sex it would be – in fact we did the opposite. We agreed that if sex happened it would happen but if either of us decided that it wasn’t what we wanted, we wouldn’t feel compelled to have sex because of some silly promise made over the net by two strangers.

Since we met in Melbourne both of us needed to be in a hotel so he booked a small serviced apartment. Plenty of room to sleep apart (HE would have taken the sofa) and plenty of room to sleep together. For me, it was great because I felt I knew him really well but I only knew the person I perceived him to be. In person he could have been a real pain in the ass and not someone I wanted to be intimate with. He could say the same thing about me.

It turned out pretty well because it’s been nearly 17 years since we met online. Yes, we slept in the same bed but not right away.  We both wanted to confirm that the other was just who we thought they were.  Thankfully, neither of us lied to make us appear more worthy of the other’s affection or passion.

When we met all we promised each other was a good time. We knew we enjoyed each other’s company because we couldn’t stay away online or on the phone. We never went as far as to say, “okay, you hang up first,” but it was pretty close! I lived for his next email telling me all sorts of things about life in Australia. He was equally curious about my life in Florida.)

My best advice is to give yourself options. Don’t meet for the first time at a hotel because by then you’re committed. It’s much tougher to say, “I really don’t want to have sex with you,” once you’re in the hotel room staring at the bed. Don’t have sex out of guilt or pity, it’s never worth it for either of you.  Meet in a coffee shop and you’ll thank me later.

Many people are and with the world the way it is now, it’s pretty scary to face it alone. Japan falling apart. New Zealand falling apart. With the US economy just barely raising its head above flatline, a lot of folks are pretty scared to part with a dime much less the subscription fee to some of the dating sites. EHarmony is nearly $50 a month!

Free SexyAds.com VIP membership!

To do my part, for the next 30 days anyone who leaves a comment to this post and joins SexyAds.com with the same email address we’ll give a 30-day free VIP membership. No contest or entry required, just leave me a comment. If you don’t leave a real email address, there’s no way for me to know who you are to make the upgrade. Don’t write to us, it won’t help. Leave a comment. It’s not hard.

What’s SexyAds?  I know I’m biased, but if you’re a person who enjoys the intimate side of a relationship as much as everything else about being with another person you’ll fit right in. You won’t find open crotch displays on the front page or even inside unless you request to view that sort of thing. We have an adult content filter so you get just the right amount of naughtyness for your comfort and pleasure. In addition to heaps of member profiles, photos and videos we also have blogs, voice ads, email and voice mail, lots of forums, photo galleries, video galleries, online chat, video chat, trivia game and more.

If you’re looking for someone to date or just some online fun with other happy, sexy people, maybe SexyAds.com is for you!

Players, we’ve all seen them but too often it’s after we’ve swallowed the bait and the hook. How can you be sure you’re not fooled by someone who’s only in it for the chase? Now I know that there are players on both sides and there are even some couples who are players. Before you all start yelling at me while I’m cleaning and not looking, we get more complaints from women about guys not being sincere than we do from men about women. (spammers and scammers not included here.. they’re a pain in the ass for everyone)

No jitters. Most people meeting for a first date tend to be a bit nervous or awkward but the player is cool as a cucumber in July. He has an air of confidence, he’ll look you in the eye and he’ll give you a prize winning smile. Who wouldn’t swoon over that? You won’t — because he’s not sincere. You’re a notch in his belt and once he knows you’ve fallen for him, he’s off to his next conquest.

Over the top dates. With a player, it’s performance dating all the way. This guy knows what women will fall for, that’s why Internet scammers are so successful. The player will plan events that some people only dream about, but as soon as you’re hooked, he’s off to his next “love”.

Do you know fear? The player is always looking for thrills, always ripping the lid off his adrenaline jar. That’s why you’re so interesting at first. For him, it’s the thrill of the chase and once he’s reached the summit, your player will find you boring.

Players online. We’ve all heard about the guy who sweeps you off your feet through email or chat. I see it every day of the week at SexyAds.com He seems just perfect. Weeks go by and finally you say those 3 little words and tell him you would like to meet him. He tells you sure thing, he can’t wait to touch you, to hold you and more. The date comes and just before he’s to arrive, there’s a problem. He’s so sorry but he can’t make it, but it will be soon. Another date is set and another disappointment. You keep on waiting because he is so caring and romantic online, you can’t imagine that he’s just getting his kicks online and has no intention of meeting you. Is he married? Not all online players are married but many are.

Always stick with a nice guy. He might be a bit awkward at first but he’s friendly, caring and he remembers things you’ve said or important dates. He shows up when he says he will. He isn’t always interested in what will make him happy. A nice guy has friends and he can mingle in a group of people who are more or less accomplished than he is. He fits in wherever he goes. He’s not afraid to say I love you when it’s time and when it’s time he says it enough to make you feel terrific. Finally, a nice guy treats his momma right. In fact, most of the time he likes everyone in his family. A nice guy has been brought up to have a good set of values. You can trust a nice guy.

I’ve been running an adult community website for over 13 years and I thought I’d seen every funny ad caused by a misspelled word. However, I would be wrong.

Today we got the newest all time funniest ad and the poor bloke who wrote it has no clue what he’s really said. I’m sure he meant nurtured but here’s the ad:

Women are a gift to us, they need to be cherished and neutered.

It gives a mental picture quite different from what he intended, doesn’t it?

My advice to anyone writing a profile or bio on the net to please, please, please read it before you close down the website. We all get interrupted mid-sentence from time to time and that’s when most of our goofiest mistakes happen. Also changing a sentence and then not proofreading it can provide a few moments of laughter at the writer’s expense.