Are stretch marks un-sexy?
I can’t believe I finally said those words. Since my first pregnancy when I was 5′ tall and 100 lbs wringing wet to start with and then had a baby that weighed 13 pounds, I’ve had stretch marks. I smothered myself in cocoa butter at the time because that’s what my mother said would save my skin as it had hers. Didn’t work.
So all my adult life I’ve felt that I’d be a lot sexier if I had nice smooth skin like all the models do. Remember Demi Moore in that famous photo when she was preggers? Did you see stretch marks? Maybe they were airbrushed out and if so, that’s a shame because so many of us markers were looking for them.
I must admit that my husband and my ex never had a problem with the marks and assured me that the marks didn’t affect my sexiness. Being the skeptic that I am, I just figured they wanted to get into my panties at the time.
If you’re a man and you’ve met a woman who’s had babies before, would you be turned off by lots of stretch marks? If you’re a woman who has them, does it bother you like it bothers me?
[...] In The Know Traveler wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerpt [IMG stretch marks]I can’t believe I finally said those words. Since my first pregnancy when I was 5′ tall and 100 lbs wringing wet to start with and then had a baby that weighed 13 pounds, I’ve had stretch marks. I smothered myself in cocoa butter at the time because that’s what my mother said would save my skin as it had hers. Didn’t work. So all my adult life I’ve felt that I’d be a lot sexier if I had nice smooth skin like all the models do. Remember Demi Moore in that famous photo when sh [...]
Stretch marks definitely don’t matter as much to men as women think they do. It’s just like cellulite. Women make this massive fuss about it when it isn’t that big of a deal to most men.
I was lucky in that regard. I used olive oil every night on my tummy when preg. But I do have a few from gaining/losing weight. I think, hope, that most men that are in love with their woman stretch marks would not be an issue. Sadly I think because of the airbrushed women we see all the time, some people think that it possible to be flawless. That’s sad. No one is flawless on the outside or in.
I have a few, nothing like the image though. I have some on my lower abs very low all ending below my belly button. I also get acne on my abs which I had never gotten before. I am very conscience of it, but am assured that this is okay with my partner. I have told him about how conscience of it I am and he started pointing out his conscience points and I had never thought twice about most of them, so I hope this goes both ways as he claims. LOL… I am still conscience though.
Hi Maureen!
Your blog has been tagged! (
Anyway you have a nice blog)
Read here for the rules of tagging.
http://kslye.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-have-been-tagged.html
Have a good week ahead.
K.S.Lye
hey we are all imperfect. Dont worry about it and go about your business. Thanks Jen – http://beauty-tips-free.com
my wife has it too after giving birth to my lovely daughter.
Rite now, my mother in law is taking care of it.
My stance on stretch marks is this, if you have them that either means that you were big and you got small, or you were small and you get big, but either way we’re f-ckin.
Stretch marks…hmm is there an easy way to get rid of them?
I have my bumps and dents, too, and no one knows that better than I do. If Gail can accept me the way I am, it’s easy to do the same for her. Her sexiness comes not only from her physical looks, but more importantly from how she feels about herself in general, her spirit, her humor, and stuff like that. It helps that we share a lot of common interests and values. Who cares about something as small as stretch marks?
Also, I see stretch marks as a symbol of having gone through a pregnancy and motherhood. That’s tough stuff. Cool stuff. Something to be proud of actually.
FerdC.
I do have stretch marks and it doesn’t bother me at all and I still feel sexy in and out. Nice post.
Like someone said up top we are all imperfect. Honestly, when a man is looking for the stereotype sexy model, he’s looking for the beyond perfect image that we are constantly fed. In my opinion, I believe a father, husband, or the man thats in love with his wife/girlfriend has a different view. I believe he values the fact that she has endured something that we could never endure in a million years. However, its important that she see’s herself as being sexy because, I don’t care what we say or how good we treat her if she doesn’t feel sexy she just doesn’t feel sexy.
We don’t have any kids. However, when I look at my wife (we’ve been together for 18 years) I still feel like I’m looking at the 19-year-old chick I had the hots for in college.
If she ever does decide to dump me like an old shoe, I would need to put some miles in on my bicycle before I could start saying someone else’s tummy was unattractive.
oh my gosh* 13 Pounds is Huge*
i do remember that Vanity Fair cover of Preggers Demi Moore – i thought she looked Super Sexy with her Full Breasts* It was clever the way they Body Painted her too – i think she had a Vest Tie on??
i know this Stripper who has stretch marks but i think she is incredibly Sexy*
**from FeelingFlirty – you ain’t kiddin 13 pounds is big. I’m 5′ nuthin and he’s 6’3″ so he kept up with the size.
Does the cream for stretch marks work?
**from FeelingFlirty — I don’t know. I hope someone will tell us
A friend of mine was in the supermarket with her hubby. She overstretched to reach the top shelf (I know, what was HE thinking of?) when she felt a tug on her top. ‘What are you doing’ she asked – ‘covering your stretch marks’ he replied.
Now was he being modest on her behalf – or downright insensitive!
I’m Mr Feelingflirty, married to Mrs Feelingflirty (aka Maureen)and I can tell you she’s one sexy babe. And yes, I did want to get into her pants when I first met her on the net so many years ago. Not because of what she looked like, but because she was just, well, sexy. She still is. “Sexy” is way more about the mind than the body, and I think FerdC’s comment was just spot on.
I can not look on it!
Hi Maureen – Thankfully, I have no stretch marks…altho’ I will admit to feeling a little stretched out lately.
Just wanted to drop in & say hello! Hope all’s well in your world!
~Olga
“A friend of mine was in the supermarket with her hubby. She overstretched to reach the top shelf (I know, what was HE thinking of?) when she felt a tug on her top. ‘What are you doing’ she asked – ‘covering your stretch marks’ he replied”.
That’s really funny. In all seriousness though I can understand the man’s position. Stretch marks are really just for the bedroom.
Don’t be too hard on me now!
You know, I want to be a good person and say that the stretch marks in the picture do not matter. I want to say that women in giving birth and essentially giving up their bodies to procreation should not have to worry about something that is so superficial.
I cannot. I have delivered two children, yet I am fortunate in that I have barely any stretch marks. I know, I part of a minority, just like women who are supermodels…NO, I am a supermodel. Super person, yes, supermodel,no.
I think it depends on how the stretch marks look. If there are a lot and they look ‘aggravated’ then yes it MAY make a difference. If my tummy looked like the picture, I would consider some sort of plastic surgery to get MY tummy back.
Kudos to all the women who responded with noble, confident comments. Yes, you are sexy and you do not need a poster to tell you that! I applaud you!
Adrienne Zurub
Author,
‘Notes From the Mothership The Naked Invisibles’
http://chasewunderlickpublishers.com.cn
Stretch marks? Where? How come I do not have those sexy lines?
Great post though the photo did make me cringe.
Stretch marks are like scars–many scars.
Some celebrities get theirs carved off with their tummy tucks but otherwise, stretch marks are your buddies for life. I just accept them as part of my packaging.
I first got them at about age 12-13 when I got C-cups, suddenly. Then 2 kids. Chronic dieting does it as well (though I don’t do that anymore).
My poor teenage son has stretch marks on his shoulders of all places because he had a growth spurt!
Kudos to you for managing a 13 lb. baby! I hope she/he is still very much thriving–though perhaps not as proportionally large for his/her age? That would be tough.
Again, great question!; some v. intersting responses.
Cheers!
Cyn
**From FeelingFlirty, yes he’s fine but he has always been big. He’s 6’3″ and husky. He’s probably older than you.
What we go through as woman to have babies is amazing. Our bodies change in so many ways and are never quite the same afterwards. I was lucky not to have gotten stretch marks with the 3 that I carried.
Perhaps stretch marks begin to matter to a man when he is unhappy in the relationship. When one is unhappy, almost anything about your partner is annoying.
I also could see the stretch marks being a problem if the woman constantly mentions them. She can actually begin to convince the guy that she is unsexy because of it. Confidence plays a huge part in sexiness.
message to houroc: i love your comment. spoken like a true man.
I do have stretch marks and I cherish those marks. When I look at them it reminds me of the wonderful kid I brought to this world.
Just to let you know, my blog has been tagged for a “meme” and I have to tag 7 people, Please let me include you.
. Thanks a lot.
I used virgin coconut oil when I was pregnant. It was prescribed by my doctor. I still had stretch marks because just like you I stand 5″3 and weight 100 pounds so I gained weight and loose it after few months of giving birth. Stretch marks don’t bother me that much. Like Elaine said its reminds me of my pregnancy moments.
My god baby, hope that is not urs. I guess u look sexy with the lights off. and from what i know stretch marks can be prevented but not cured, get a plastic surgery!
**From FeelingFlirty – nah that’s not me, thankfully, but it’s some woman and if there’s one there are others. I just wonder how they cope.
Hi there!
You have very interesting articles here,i loved reading them all.
But I chose this one to comment.
I have stretch marks,too,but not like that in the pic.I hate to see my tummy,but seems my husband doesnt care at all,he finds me sexy,and i believe that I still attract guys when I walk out,I maybe unhappy about it,although that doesnt mean Im in vain
self confidence counts a lot,i guess
Thanx for visiting my site.
cheers,
ghee
http://akoni.info
OMG…does a pregnant woman really have this much stretch afterwards!? My wife is pregnant and I hope she has a way of gettin rid of or preventing them
Thank you.
Don’t loose your previous charm after pregnancy. Prevention is always better that cure , With liitle care you can actually make a big difference. During and after pregnancy use Stretch Mark Prevention creams which will make you recover fast so that you can come back to normal Life.
Stretch marks un-sexy? Hell no! They are very sexy!!
i have stretch marks also. hopefully they don’t look as bad as the picture. i am very self-conscious of mine. i am in a new relationship and i hate looking at myself when we make love. he has such a perfect body. he watches porn sometimes and i can’t help but think he wishes i was like one of the girls in the flicks.
i don’t know if i would be as attracted to him if he had these unsightly marks.
***From FeelingFlirty — You know, I am 100% convinced that your new lover doesn’t mind one bit. It’s not what you look like that’s exciting this man, it’s how sexy you are when you want him bad. Love yourself just the way you are. You earned every one of those marks, just like I did bringing a wonderful new life into the world.
Same goes for me I was tiny had huge baby now I have many Strech Marks. That was 12 Years ago they dont go away. Cream lotion potion exfoliation and lasers can only do so much. Prevention HA. Not really possible slighlty helpful maybe but some people are just gonna get them. When a woman puts here baby’s health above her vanity she should get a party commerating each and every stripe. I know some you have all seen those pics of the celebs trying to save there bodies and then they have those skinny lil babes. My children are apparntly more important to me.
Walksfarwoman-My husband has pulled down my shirt too but he informs me he did because he knew I like to keep them hidden.
Jack Lawson David De Angelo and Ottoman are the men to avoid. Regarless of you perfectness and Haurock you way rock.
In my opinion,it is normal to have stretch marks. I believe that there are lots of products out on the market to lessen or to let it fade way. On the mean time you need to look for skin care set. I hope i was able to help! Thank you
I Know how you feel… i have really bad stretch marks all over my body! I cant even wear shorts because i have them on my calfs… I am not rich and could never afford lazer.. my skin is also really saggy.. i cant even stand to see myself naked.. it has completly distroyed my sex life… i worked really hard to get back in shape after i had my daughter.. but now i feel hopless.. cuz im even skinner then i was before.. but my body is SICK! I feel like there isnt any use taking care of myself.. because I will never look good naked.
I HAVE GIVEN UP!
My wife and I just had our second child. Her stretch marks aren’t too bad, but I do love how her body feels right now. She has been on both ends of the scale and I find her to be just as sexy either way. There are a lot of shallow comments on here from what I can assume are guys that spend more time hoping to get laid rather than actually performing the act. If you love someone you love someone. If you are just getting to know a person and the big roadblock is a few stretch marks then you should really examine your own character.
dancing is a fun way to burn calories
I have stretch marks all over and I’ve never been pregnant. Genetics I guess. I have a great, healthy body, but I’ve wasted more than 10 years of my life covering myself up because I was so self-conscious. I finally realized this past summer that I was being ridiculous and I put on a summer dress and (gasp) actually left the house in it. I started thinking “hell yeah I’m sexy! So what if there are some men who are put off by my stretch marks (there are certainly a lot of men I’m put off by) because there’s a world of men who aren’t and a lot of cute dresses (and shorts and bathing suits) to be worn.” And you know, if women stopped feeling bad about their stretch marks (I know, easier said than done) and started showing them off because they’re normal I’m pretty sure men wouldn’t even notice them.
wow, ok. im 19 and married. my wife is 19. i wrestled through high school, and now i do MMA and am in the army serving in iraq. i am in pretty good shape. i have been reading comments cause recently my wife has given me a gorgeous son. unfornunately for her she is 5′flat and gained got stretch marks. not like in the picture but the wide ones and she has more than a couple. i am completely appalled at what some of you assholes are saying to this woman who is worried about her body. my wife wrestled through high school too and thats how we met. the reason i am on here is cause it bothers her and i hate to see her be down on herself cause she truly is beatutiful and has a great personality. you know, some of you should look in the mirror. or better yet thats prolly your problem, you are so self concious about your own little flaws that you saying shit about how gross stretch marks are makes you feel bigger about yourself, wow. grow up, yall are grown men, a woman should feel good about herself no matter what and they dont as often anymore cause of comments like that and unnatural standards. when did we degrade to this level of shallowness and putting women down to make ourselfs feel bigger?
I will be honest – my stomach looks pretty much like the photo minus the discoloration. I am a dark-skinned black woman so my “stretchies” pretty much fade into my natural skin tone. I also keloid easily. My mother has a beautiful post-baby tummy (I’m her youngest) – so it isn’t genetics, it is the luck of the draw. I had my last child 9 years ago and throughout all of my twenties I have had them. I am not ashamed of them and do not let “them” ruin my sex life. Sure, I do not wear midriffs or low waisted jeans because I do not show them off but I also never involved myself with men who had issues with them. I try to exude a self-confidence in everything about myself not just my body. I mean damn, it is just skin. I do have a brain, a personality, character, charm, poise, grace, good health, and so many other positive traits. I understand that some men find them unattractive. Fine with me, because for every one man that is turned off by them – there are 10 more wishing for the opportunity to rub my belly.
I exercise, watch what I eat and try to be a good person. If a man is more captivated by my stomach then the content of my character . . . then that is not a man I need in my life anyway. Love all of me or none of me, that simple. I wouldn’t have minded getting a smooth belly post-babies but I didn’t. Oh well, I have stretchmarks and two awesome kids . . . C’est la vie!! 
Stretch marks are not bad in themselves. It depends on the culture, the cause and where they are situated. Pregnancy stretch marks look undesirable they are mostly found only on women. The lines are a little larger and are noticeable from a long distance. These always concentrate on the belly. The chubby or fatty stretch marks mostly surround the areas of the boobs, arm muscles, the butts and the belly. These may as well not be desirable. These can attack any sex (male /female alike). There are also those kinds of stretch marks. These are lighter kind of lines and are only on beautiful girls. They mostly signify how a girl secretes juices or how wet she becomes during sex. The girl can be young as far as 13 years of age. These are very attractive to some men. They mostly concentrate on areas of the legs (behind), on the butt and around the waits. The sexy stretch marks are always very intimidating for men. If a young girl has these stretch mark lines, it is advisable to encourage them cover them not because they are bad but because they make the beholders vulnerable for harassment. For the person who loves such girl, it is a treasure.
stretch marks are sexy as hell! esp pregnancy stretch marks. i love the way they feel and look!
my wife has strech marks all over from her pregnacy as far as i care its not a problem with me i love her, but i see her looking at sexy clothes and i say lets get that baby it will look great on you and she says no cause of her stomach or any other area she has with strech marks i feel bad i love her i want her to feel sexy again like she felt herself back a few years ago any suggestions?
no it wont work she will have to get used to them her self.
Call me weird but I think stretch marks, are ridiculously sexy! And I mean ones like the photo and worse… I’ve dated a few women that had them and it’s a shame how self conscious they were of it. I just couldn’t stop touching the one girls belly, the skin was so soft and supple, and yummy!!!
Most women usually have stretch marks after they have babies… it’s part of a women’s life. Even thin girls have stretch marks. If you don’t want stretch marks, don’t ever get pregnant, simple as that but really its doesn’t affect sex life…
The Glucocorticoid hormones in the body are responsible for the development of the stretch marks. The glucocorticoid affects the epidermis and puts the fibroblasts off from making the albuminoidal fibers and collagen. These both are important for good and healthy skin.
Please, ladies, don’t feel bad about your stretch marks, especially the pregnancy ones on your tummies. I think they are sexy and I love the soft feel of a mummy tummy. Real Women get stretch marks, Real Women are sexy.
RESPONSE TO WRITCHERCHIC80 on January 10th, 2009
I thank you for your posting – for the first time have I been able to feel good about the stretch marks that I have from birthing my son.
I use to be shy about showing my body to my boyfriend and hence it was a strain on our relationship…though he assured me he was not bothered by them, it was just me!
Moving forward, as of today, I will not let them ruin my desire for a relationship – a man would be proud to rub his hands across my stomach, while appreciating me for the woman that I am.
REPONSE TO JOHN OF OCTOBER 22/2008
Coming from a man, it was great to read your comment; thanks for putting it so plainly, that it is an immature individual that will have an “issue†with stretch-marks for a real man considers stretch marks to be “warior marks†or “marks of triumphâ€. I’m going to wear my with confidence!!
Hi there,
The glucocorticoid hormones responsible for the development of stretch marks affect the epidermis by preventing the fibroblasts from forming collagen and elastin fibers, necessary to keep rapidly growing skin taut. It might be embarrassing but there are ways it can be cured.
Thanks,
Shruti
I had stretch marks but I used cocoa butter and they’ve gone away. I also take out my workout MMA Gloves and start training, it really tones my belly!
I think stretch marks can easily be cured with some special oils that are available over the counter. Even better thing to do is just accept it as part of your beauty.
I have stretchmarks all over my stomache also and feeling sexy is just that, a feeling. Somedays I don’t care and others it bugs me. You can’t get rid of them, time will fade them. And doctors have told me its all about genetics, it has nothing to do with how much oil is put on your gut…lol. I have had friends tell me since the first day I found out I was prego, to put oils and lotions on..everyday for 9 months I did this and it never worked. If u feel sexy, u act sexy and do sexy and the man should just think sexy. If he thinks stretchmarks, then he just wants bragging rights..cuz anything ur doin sexually has nothing to do with ur stomach!!
It is an amazing thing in the world to give birth a new baby. And women do this job. It gives her the respect of surviving humankind. Beauty is the thing which makes a woman glorious where strength makes a man so. But it is better to be a mother of a baby though it may decrease one’s beauty because glamour never last long.
My husband says he hasn’t even noticed my stretch marks since our first child. Either he’s lying or it’s true…either way its hard not to love him for saying so
We had our second child recently and my wife has been stressing about her stretch marks. I can’t speak for all men but in my case its definitely something she worries about more than me…she had to point them out before I even really noticed.
I don’t until now stretching marks on partner’s body can affect sexual relationships. This is something new to me, great lessons i will say. thanks for this post..
I never really took much notice of my stretch marks on my hips and bum but when I got pregnant I got more and they looked pretty horrifying. I’ve been using Cocoa butter cream like crazy and it’s paying off…..
I know for a fact some men find stretch marks incredibly sensual. Maturity, fertility, and the war wounds of bringing forth life can even be erotic for some. It’s ancient and primal and in their hind brains. Don’t give up ladies there really is someone for anyone. You can find a man who makes you feel beautiful for being you.
Hi there. I believe stretch marks are nothing really. If a woman had them I wouldn’t even notice. Of course, I love the who sexy look thing on the greats and backside, but if I did see stretch marks (highly unlikely) I wouldn’t even care. All women are sexy: some have eyes to kill for, some have the perfect breasts, some have the perfect hair… As long as a women does not get overweight, (by that I don’t mean skinny like those models, if anything that is a turn-off) she is sexy. Women of course start caring about things most men don’t even notice. Remember that eventually, you WILL find someone who loves you the way you are. Men aren’t really that picky when it comes to looks. As long as they have the shape/curves it doesn’t really matter. It’s biology… Man doesn’t care about skin pigment on breast… Bigger = better nursing ability. I have heaps of stretch marks being a man, on my arms as well. I don’t really care because yes I have a good looking body SHAPE, and if someone’s going to come along and judge me on my stretch marks then they are just cheap, shallow human beings.