I get told something like this at least once a week. Men and women join our dating website and they have really clear ideas of the type of person they’re looking for. They know the race, the approximate height, the education, the politics and even about how much this person should earn. They can see this person in their mind’s eye and that’s who they want.

Do they find the right match? Sometimes, but more often they find someone totally different. Like today, I got an email from a woman I’ll all Melinda. Ok that is her real name but you couldn’t pick her out of a lineup so I’m safe. She wrote that she placed her ad for a single man, 30-35, professional position who loved opera and sex.

When I read that I thought, “geez, that shouldn’t be too hard, especially if you took out the opera!”

Anyway, she wrote to say that she got quite a few contacts from her ad but none of the guys were just right. She was determined not to give up and she was going to stay on our site because she liked the ability to be classy AND sexy without all the smut crap that sometimes goes along with it.

One night she ventured into the chatroom and started talking with Deg. He’s not the most attractive cupcake in the box, he’s over 40 and would act like a worm in hot ashes if you took him to the opera. They chatted for 5 hours about everything from where they grew up to how they drink their coffee. Both thought it was just a once-off and forgot about it until they both happened to be in chat again and sure enough, started chatting away forgetting all about the time.

Melinda told me, “then it hit me – what was it about this man that could induce me to chat for hours when I’ve never been able to stand it for more than 15 minutes?”

So she started thinking about Deg and anticipating their next chat. After a couple more chats that went into the wee hours, she dared to ask if he’d like to meet her on the weekend for coffee. He said he wasn’t sure because he was having so much fun that she might not want to talk to him once she’d seen how ugly he was in person.

But meet they did and they’ve met on many weekends since and are now planning a holiday together.

“Does he like opera yet?” I asked.

Sadly that’s still a no but because he wants to be part of her life, he’s gone to a couple of operas and she said he didn’t wear earplugs. To return the favor she’s gone fishing once and has been to an auto race with him.

“Would she have answered an email from Deg?” I wanted to know.

“Not in a million years,” she admitted and then told me how wrong she would have been. “He’s a wonderful man and makes me feel like a queen when I’m with him.”

If you’re looking for a new partner, remember Melinda and her happiness and keep your options open. Don’t let the best one get away because they don’t fit all your criteria.

Guys are usually shy when it comes to talking about their feelings for the person they really, really love. There are times that they don’t say it but then they show it. There are also times that guys don’t realize that they are falling in love with that woman sitting across them. For guys who are new to the dating and love rollercoaster, here are some signs that you seriously falling hard for that special woman in your life.

No. 1- She is always on your mind.
There might be a lot of things that a normal guy thinks about. But regardless of the millions of thoughts that can occupy his mind, she (the woman) becomes the center of his mind’s attention. There may be certain things that bother him but he rejects these thoughts in place of the wonderful memories that the girl brings him.

No. 2 – You remember her scent. You remember the smell of her hair and her lips.
The scent of her hair and the taste of her lips- these are jsut some of the weird but cute things that a guy remembers in the girl that he likes. They might not be together at certain times but he remembers the smell (fruity, flirty and what not) of her hair. He remembers the flavor of her lip gloss and the color of her lips. It might sound weird but this is actually true. The scent of a woman stays in the guy’s mind and his olfactory nerve!

No. 3- You have the urge to protect her.
For guys in love, they have this feeling that they can be the girl’s protector. They can’t bear to see the woman they love suffer. They want to keep them from harm’s way. They might even make a vow to do everything and anything in their powers to ensure the woman’s safety and happiness.

These are just some of the things that a guy can feel when is on the brink of falling hard for that ideal woman. Guys may have different experiences from each other but the most important thing is that they realize the value of love and the value of the woman they love.

I’ve heard the silliest excuses as to why people say they couldn’t consider dating over 50. “My goodness, why?” is always my reply! You know the old saying, just because there’s snow on the mountain doesn’t mean there’s not a fire glowing down below!

One friend, who’s husband died a few years ago, has come up with every reason why dating a mature man doesn’t feel right. True, I have to admit that if it doesn’t feel right for her, then it’s not right. Her feelings are always correct for her, but… She said that dating again would be disloyal to her husband who’s been dead nearly 5 years. I keep telling her that he wouldn’t want her to sit alone night after night when she could be sharing fun times with a new friend. He’d be new, not a replacement.

Then she said that “nobody would want to date a woman over 50.” What hogwash that is! There are thousands and thousands of men and women over 50 who are re-entering the dating market. The 50 and over segment at SexyAds.com is just huge. When we created the site we were both nearing 50 ourselves and now that I’m 61, I’m just entering my prime! (just kidding) I keep telling my friend that dating for people over 50 is absolutely commonplace.

Finally she said that men over 50 who were looking for dates only wanted sex. I told her that she’s selling ALL men pretty short with that kind of a statement. Sure, some men have lived for years without sexual intimacy and crave it with every fibre of their bodies and maybe they come on too strong sometimes. However, sex is NOT the only thing all men are looking for. They crave companionship just as much as women do. For me, I can’t imagine a life without someone to share it with. Some people like living alone but I’m not one of them.

Anyway, my friend Myra has decided to give adult dating a trial run. I think deep down she’d love to find someone to laugh with, someone to give her a hug and someone to crank up her engines once again. Fingers crossed!