Whether you’re male or female, you or somebody you know have heard of these words. People think these words soften the blow during break ups or arguments. It doesn’t work. After all the drama, “it’s not you, it’s me” usually leaves people very confused, frustrated and angry.

Once the battle is over and these words have finally been uttered, where do you go from there? Obviously the relationship or friendship is over but how did you get there? Most of the time, these words are said to ease the blame and make it easier on the person doing the breaking up. Should we make things easier on ourselves by using it’s not you, it’s me? Personally I would much rather prefer that the other party, the one who is trying to end the relationship be truthful. It’s better to say the exact reasons behind the dumping or break up rather than be left out in the dark. It’s a really wrong idea to sugarcoat things. It doesn’t make things any easier. The person being dumped knows it’s not about you, it’s about them. What they don’t know is why.

Sure, the reasons you’re leaving a relationship might be more than one but using that statement is used to cover up our cowardice for not being able to be honest and admit that the relationship isn’t meeting our needs.

There might have been a time that someone used the line on you and you know it was never about them. So if you’re ending a relationship, don’t make it easier on yourself. The conversation is only going to be at the max 5 or 10 minutes. You owe this person that much time and you owe them the reasons why so they can have some closure and move on. Don’t give them false hope that they could do something different and “keep you.”


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No two human beings are alike. I am not talking about DNA here but who we are as people. We all have different personalities and preferences. One trait that always stands out is someone’s shyness. I feel sorry for those people who are too shy to talk to or even approach people they don’t know. How can someone like this flirt or get the attention of a potential partner? The short answer is they can’t! Being shy most always is a hindrance to snagging the guy or girl that has caught their eye.

Being shy isn’t a crime and shy people don’t choose to be shy. But honestly, there are times when the whole shyness thing can stop a person from making the first move or catching someone’s attention. Playing hard to get in a shy way can sometimes be cute, but too shy is a lot like work when you’re talking about dating. If you have a problem with shyness, it’s time to kick that shyness goodbye. It’s not easy, I know that, but you CAN gather the courage and strength to mask that shyness demeanor. Open yourself up to being able to flirt and then date some fantastic people.

You don’t need a complete personality overhaul — just mask the outward appearance of your shyness. You can take control and by doing so, you’ll change your life. Your shyness isn’t going to go away and you’re never going to “grow out of it.” So make a decision that in 2009 you are going to overcome. Forget about eliminating it, that’s too much work. Overcome the symtoms and you’ll find that it doesn’t matter that you’re still shy in some situations. If you’re shy, it can sometimes be a burden to your growth as a person, not only occupationally but socially as well. By slowly working on overcoming shyness in one area of your life after another, you will give yourself a chance to experience things that you have so far denied yourself.

Watch someone who’s not shy and see what they do. Then break down their “moves” one by one and try them out. Before you know it, you’ll have overcome that one thing. Reward yourself! By improving these people skills, one day someone will tell YOU that they wished they could flirt as easily as you do.


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