I suppose everyone is different in what sort of kisser they’re looking for but that doesn’t matter, if the kisser you’ve got is missing the mark on what trips your trigger, what do you do?

For me the wet kisser turns me off. He comes at me with his lips parted and I swear he slobbered on them first so my entire upper lip is wet. Gross! I’ve had a few men kiss me that way and I can’t wait for it to end.

Friends of mine were discussing this when we got together for coffee yesterday. I’m not alone in wanting a good kisser but is there an easy way to retrain one?

Yes, it’s called honesty.

Nobody is a shitty kisser on purpose. They all learned the same way we did. We kissed our wrists, didn’t we? Unfortunately our wrists didn’t kiss back and therein lies the problem. So we tell them how we would like to be kissed. We do risk them saying that they like kisses like they give and would like to get them in return. If that happens, it’s back to the online dating site for you.

I suspect what you’ll get is thanks for agreeing for more practice. If you practice until you get kissed in a way that makes you ache for more, it’s definitely a win-win situation for you and for your relationship with the formerly bad kisser.

We all know someone who very much wants to find a new love in their life, or someone who wishes they could lose weight, or someone who would like to have a new job or someone desiring a wage increase. What do they all have in common? They’re wishing it would happen. It’s like they can only focus on their wishbone and DO nothing to MAKE it happen.

I see it all the time on SexyAds.com. Some men will join and write a one-line ad that says something like:

Handsome male with talented tongue who can last all night.

Actually that wouldn’t look like that.. it would have been tounge for the flappy thing that can last all night. If you were thinking that was a good ad, don’t. Women will not reply to that ad. Not ever. They don’t want a date with a tongue, they want a date with a man. We date men - the sex bit is important but it’s not more important than who he is as a person.

My point is, this man is wishing for a hot date but he’s not doing anything that will help him to reach his goal. My friend Sal wishes she could lose weight but sits with a pack of cookies and a quart of milk while she wishes.

Don’t get me wrong, wishing is the first step. Without wishing we wouldn’t get anywhere. It’s how we know what things we want and what things we don’t want, so never skip that step but don’t make it your only step.

Once you’ve decided you want a new relationship (or anything else), commit to doing something to make it happen. Roll with the flow but take every opportunity to put yourself in position to allow success to happen. If you join a dating site, create a good profile. Write an ad or profile to attract the sort of person you would like in your life, upload photos showing you off at your very best and then write to everyone that comes even close to matching what you seek. Remember, they can’t put everything in a profile, so if you want someone who loves sailing, write and ask if they enjoy it.

The wishbone is only the beginning!