So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign on the door reads:

Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:

Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads:

Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited

Circumcision, the removal of the foreskin, is perhaps the oldest identified and currently the most frequently performed elective surgical procedure for males throughout the world. Egyptian mummies and wall carvings offer some of the earliest recorded history of circumcision dating over 15,000 years ago.

This was a routine hygienic procedure in America and in recent years there has been a movement to stop this apparently medically unnecessary practice. But does having sex with an uncircumcised man differ at all from sex with a circumcised man?

Some men are good lovers and some aren’t, and the way their penises are “arranged” often doesn’t matter at all. My female friends and I have had some pretty frank discussions on all topics. Recently the subject of circumcision came up, and it was really interesting. Some said it feels different, some said it didn’t.

One of my friends (who’s been around more than the rest of us) said having sex with a man without his foreskin does feel different. The ridge on the head of his penis feels very good to her. A couple of the women were concerned with cleanliness as she didn’t want “to chew down on a cheesy cock”. Nuff said.

What’s your opinion? For me, regarding which gives greater sexual pleasure, it really is a matter of personal taste. Whether covered or clipped, you can still enjoy a great ride.

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1- How long did the Hundred Years’ War last?

2- Which country makes Panama hats?

3- From which animal do we get cat gut?

4- In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5- What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

6- The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7- What was King George VI’s first name?

8- What color is a purple finch?

9- Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10- What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Feeling pretty confident are you? You only need 4 answers correct to pass the test.

To get the answers, scroll down.

Gratuitous sexy photo so you can’t see the answers. Wouldn’t you want this guy next door? He’d be great for conversation, he’s always wearing something different.

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1- How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2- Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3- From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4- In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5- What is a camel’s hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6- The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7- What was King George VI’s first name? Albert

8- What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9- Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10- What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

I felt confident I knew 3 answers. I got 3 questions right. Argh..

I’ve been in the online dating business a long time and I’ve heard from thousands of women about what keeps them in a relationship. You’d be wrong if you said it’s all about looks or money. While that might catch a woman’s eye initially, that’s not going to keep her happy long term.

Are you guilty of any of the following? If you are, that might be why you haven’t found the relationship success you know you deserve.

Don’t Be Clingy

I can’t emphasize enough that women hate clingy men as much as men hate clingy women. We all came into this world alone and we’re going out of it alone, so enjoy each other but don’t try to get inside her skin. Let her have some space to do her own things and if you don’t have things of your own to do, go get some.

Listen To Her

This is a toughie for most men. Your makeup is to try to fix every problem for us when all we require is for you to kill the bugs, haul out the garbage and change the lightbulbs. Men sort their problems out in solitude and in their heads. Women sort them out by talking about them out loud to someone who’ll listen. Then she makes up her mind what she wants to do. Don’t give her any suggestions unless she asks. Ask questions to help her sort it out but that’s it!

Listening also gives her 100% of your attention and that’s what she’s looking for in a keeper.

Make Dates

Once you’ve passed casual dating and moved on to excusive dating, keep making dates. Make sure that at least once or twice a week you make plans to do something together. It doesn’t matter what it is — you could make dinner plans, go fishing, visit the library together, go on a picnic, go bowling – anything that gives each other your undivided attention. No phones ringing, no kids asking for something, no chores to do – only time for being together.

Don’t Sulk

That might have worked with your mother but it isn’t going to work now. It’s childish and she’s looking for a man. If you need to suck your thumb – go visit your mother and sit on her lap for a while. Good relationships happen when there are two adults involved.

Don’t Lose Yourself

Too often men get into relationships and they fall out of touch with old friends and old hobbies and worst still, they lose the excitement of learning new things. If this has happened to you – get a move on before it’s too late. Don’t settle for food, booze and mowing the lawn on a Saturday morning. There’s way more to life and it will keep you interesting to be with.

Set Standards for Yourself

This is a tough one, but everyone should set limits on what behavior crosses the line and make it known that serious consequences will occur if that happens. When kids are involved it’s tough, but nobody should be abused and nobody should be a doormat. There isn’t a person on the planet that’s worth losing your self-respect.

Remember the Little Things

Remember when you’d send her a quick email to tell her you were thinking about her?

Why did you stop?

Remember when you surprised her by taking her away on the anniversary that you met?

You could do it again.

When’s the last time you took her hand when you were out together? When’s the last time you grabbed her ass when you thought nobody was looking?

Keep on Fuckin’

In my experience when regular sexual activity slows down, so does the relationship. Sure, you can’t fuck your way to happiness but doesn’t everything seem a lot better after an hour of hot sweaty sex?

Go out of your way to make sex exciting. Go to a sex shop together and buy a new toy. Watch a sexy video together. Take a bubble bath and then give each other a sensual massage.

Don’t Be Jealous

Jealousy can end a relationship faster than just about anything. She’s with you because she likes you and worrying about who she talks to and where she is every minute of the day makes you a controlling bastard. You’ll end up in Dumpsville at some point.

Continue to Kiss

Have you ever seen an older couple sneaking a kiss when they think they’re alone? They’re still together because of that. They’re keeping the passion alive and you can too by remembering that a kiss doesn’t have to lead to sex every time. It can be a kiss that just means I love being with you.

Celebrate Everything

Make a big deal if she gets a promotion or a raise in pay, cooks a great meal or wins a blue ribbon. Remember her birthday, the anniversary that you met or the first time she gave you a blow job (ok that one’s probably just in our famly). The important thing is to show her that it’s important to you too. Don a party hat, buy a present, make a movie — anything that let’s her know that the moment is special to you too.

Please don’t look at this list and think “Why should I, she doesn’t do any of these for me.” It takes one person to start this off. You can’t change her but you can change yourself and how you behave. Once you change, trust me, she’ll follow because it will feel too good.

This isn’t a complete list, so if you have additions I’ll be happy to add them to the bottom of this post. Is there a secret to keeping your relationship motor running like a top?