I am just fuming after opening my emailbox today. Like some of you I subscribe to newsletters in my field just to see what others are offering. Today I got a newsletter from a guy who teaches lonely men how to get women to fall at their feet. He charges quite a bit for his expertise and I could tell a man in 30 seconds how to do it for free - offer to rub her feet after a long day or offer to cook dinner. Anyway, that’s not what I’m so pissed off about.

The subject line of his email is:

Why You Should NOT Compliment A Woman

That’s a direct cut and paste. Riiiiight. Why didn’t he say something equally sensible like these:

• Treat a Woman Like Shit and She’ll Fall On Her Knees Before You
• Embarrass a Woman In Front of Her Friends and She’ll Come Running For You
• Drop a Woman Off a Block from Her Home So Next Time She’ll Appreciate the Ride
• A Woman Never Really Means No

I could go on but you get the picture. What he wrote isn’t the worst thing I have ever read but what is it telling men about women? Treat them like the naughty children you know they are and then you’ll always be in control. What happened to men and women acknowledging their differences and respecting each other? Argh!!

I look at my own relationship and sure we’ve been together for nearly 13 years but there has never been a time that my husband would think, “I mustn’t give her a compliment or she’ll take me for granted.” It would never enter his mind. He sees me as a complete equal with every right to be myself and do whatever I want. I feel the same way about him. We have our differences like everyone else. He’s a complete nerdy geek and I pick up strays, he tries to sneak a smoke when he thinks I’m not looking and I’ll spend way too much money on pet treats. Those are the bits that make our eyes roll but he has my respect in all things.

Does that make us want each other less? Never. “I have a headache” has never entered the house.

Who are these newsletters aimed at? Lonely men who haven’t got a clue how to attract a woman, so they listen to drivel like this thinking that this guy really has made a breakthrough. He has but not what they think - he’s made a breakthrough in how to separate a man from his money and that’s about it!

Rant over.

A friend sent me a link to this young doctor’s blog and it’s terrific. It gives you a behind the scenes look at the reality of what it is to become a doctor. They’re human after all. Check out Agraphia.net.

I have a vivid memory of laughing hysterically at a sitcom when I was younger. The dialog went something like this:

Patient: What is it, doc?
Doctor: I’m afraid I have some bad news, son. It’s cancer. Penis cancer.

This morning we had a whole lecture on penis cancer, and I am here to tell you… it’s not funny. Not at all†. There is nothing funny about penis cancer. In fact, penis cancer is some of the most revolting, vile stuff we’ve seen so far.

†except for the word penis. That will always be funny.

When I see something stupid on our site at SexyAds.com or some other dating site (yes we check the competition) I always wonder what the person was thinking. Like a photo of a man looking like he lost his best friend, or worse looking angry and worse still, the idiot who posed with a gun. For the record, we won’t accept a photo of a person with a gun unless he or she is in uniform.

Nothing is worse than the emails some people think will work to get them a date. I have a profile on our site so people can write to me personally about any problems or to ask for help. Every day there are some who write who have never looked at my profile. They realize they can email me for free so they do. I’ve kept a few of the really good ones. What these men thought they were going to get by sending these to me (or to anyone!) boggles the mind.

1. I am looking for an honest women. one that won’t lie to me and will be my friend even if nobody else will be. I need you to be totaly comitted to me in every way and I need to know that you can be discrete because I’m married. this is my fave
2. yo! you wanna fuck or sumthin
3. May the pleasure of God shine upon you and may you want to bring me to the United States to live with you and care for you forever. I am a good man of Nigeria. I am strong and faithful.
4. I saw your picture and before we meet could I see more pictures of your tits?
5. I like women like you because overweight women are really greatful when we pay attention to you. If you want to meet send me your real email address because I can’t buy a membership here because my wife would find out and she’d kill me ten ways to sunday.
6. Is that your real photo or underneath are you really ugly? fave #2
7. Hi, I read your profile and noticed that you are looking for new friends and I’d like to apply for the position as your number one friend. I’m 48, live in Phoenix and can spend time with you ever weekend. I have a talented tongue and I’m at least 8 inches in the pants department. ever weekend? I’m in Australia, buddy!
8. big package waiting for you here babe

These are all introductory emails. Not one of them could have read my profile because it says I’m not looking for anyone; that I’m the maintenance person around the site. Online dating isn’t rocket science - frankly it’s easy to get a date, but those emails won’t work!

To be fair, I get a lot of really great emails from wonderful people; many remain as old friends. They understand that you have to be interested enough to find out all you can about them and then treat them with respect.

Add to Onlywire

We have the BEST commercials to combat bad driving. It implies that every man who drives like an idiot has a small penis. I crack up every time I see it. Here it is.

There was an article in a Sydney newspaper a few weeks ago by writer Sam De Brito who openly admits that rather than lie to women he’s not interested in just to have sex, he visits prostitutes. This immediately caught my eye because I’ve read so many ads on our site from men who only want a quick shag and then take off. Every time I read one I think to myself - that’s not a man who wants a relationship. That’s barely a one night stand because he didn’t even offer a cup of coffee beforehand. In his article Sam writes:

Being single and in my 30s, I find it increasingly difficult to justify the lies and manipulation involved in having a sexual relationship with women who I’m not in love with.

In my opinion, if ALL he wants is a roll in the hay to release sexual tension, I find nothing at all wrong with it. I know there will be lots of people who’ll tell me I’m an idiot because all these sex workers are exploited women who were abused by their fathers or brothers and are drug addicts. Sorry, that’s not always the case. There ARE women who are sex workers because they can make more money doing that than they can anything else. For many their hours are their own and they don’t have to walk the streets in dangerous areas.

In Australia, brothels are legal and you’ll find one in most every town in the country. If a town is too small, they’ll have women who travel a route. There are some people who’ll get all riled up if a new brothel is being built but most of us just accept it as a fact of life. The world’s oldest profession is still going strong, but let’s get back to what Sam had to say.

The problem I, and I wager many other single men, face nowadays is if you go on more than a couple of dates with a woman, the majority want to know where the relationship is going. If you’re blunt enough to say nowhere except the bedroom, feelings get hurt.

Prostitution pares this transaction back to its base elements. An estimated one in six Australian men have at some point in their life visited a sex worker, according to the Australian Study of Health and Relationships conducted by La Trobe University.

But it is something blokes will rarely admit to and this stigma radiates directly from the prostitute, a woman whose career choice is sneered at by most and condescended to by the rest.

I think it’s time to accept that men CAN choose when they want to have sex. Women pretty much control when they have sex in a committed relationship and outside of that they are 100% in control, so what’s a guy gonna do when he’s horny to the point of distraction but she’s got a headache or she’s not sure how she feels about him yet? Pay for a woman’s time and leave when satisfied.

Prostitutes certainly aren’t for everyone nor am I recommending that. It wouldn’t be for me. The spark that really gets my fire going is being wanted sexually by a man. Maybe some men have that same feeling and need some sort of connection to make it all worthwhile. I think a prostitute is the best solution for anyone who wants only sex - no relationship, no commitment, no begging and no dishonesty.

Don’t come yelling at me saying I’m leading to the moral decline of the universe. Prostitution has gone on since the dawn of time and if we haven’t fallen apart yet, it ain’t gonna happen because two people are having a shag for cash. Maybe if we treated prostitutes with a bit more respect their conditions would improve and it would be seen as a real service. The sex drive in humans doesn’t get turned on after the marriage certificate is signed.

Read all of Sam De Brito’s article here.