Online dating sites are filled with women who list “successful” as one of the traits she’s looking for in a man. Today, when someone is considered “successful,” it’s usually because they appear to meet some broad criteria that fits the label. It’s all part of judging a book by its cover and we all do it. But what IS success really? When a woman says she wants a successful man, what does that success mean and is it the same for every woman? Success is different to every woman. Some women ARE very possession oriented and for them money or access to money equals success. To other women success is being able to pay your bills and still have the time, money and energy to spend a fun-filled weekend together doing the ordinary things in life.

For every woman who says she’s seeking a successful man, remember that it’s only her OPINION of what is successful.

This is very important. If you are with a woman who thinks you aren’t a success if you don’t have money and expensive things - lose her. You will never be good enough or rich enough or have enough things because there will always be someone with more than you have.

While I admit that there is nothing wrong at all with external symbols of success like money, jobs and things - that they equate to success is ONLY an opinion. A Ferrari is just a car. A Rolex watch is just a watch. The vice-presidency of a bank is just a title. A large bank account is just a bunch of numbers. And a gold medal is only a moment in time. These things do not constitute true success. They are opinions or external measurements of success.

Consider giving a mansion to a monk and notice that he’s not impressed. That would NOT be success to him!

The same goes for the opinions you hold. If owning an expensive watch means a lot to you, do you think, “That watch is success” or “buying that watch will make me successful?” Of course not. What you are truly saying, though, is that the watch represents success or that it symbolizes success, affluence, or whatever.

The problem, however, is that the watch is not only a personal symbol but also a symbol one wishes to project to the outside world. Besides only being a watch, it doesn’t have any value in itself except for the value that it has been given — by others as well as by you. This is where the ego often gets in the way. If you owned one, more than likely you are trying to show how successful you are rather than just “being” successful.

An expensive watch doesn’t have any intrinsic worth. To make it valuable, you must give it value — and that’s your value. And your value is what you want other people to notice. So, it all boils down to self-esteem. And this goes for anything in the material or physical world. Your goals, your achievements, or your performance are infallibly tied not only to how you feel about them but how you want others to feel about you.

This is the reason why all external forms of success are merely constituted of opinions. Success represents different things to different people, and a symbol is only an expression of a feeling about success and does not constitute this true success I am referring to. Therefore, success is but an illusion and this illusion is the cause of so much frustration, anger, pain, and lack we see in the world today.

The point I’m trying to make here is that you can find women who feel that success is not what happens on the outside, because the things you possess are merely symbols of an opinion. Find the woman who knows you have real value and you won’t need to possess so many trappings of success to prove your value.

If you want to really become a success in the true sense of the word, understand how valuable you are just because you’re alive. Look inside yourself and get connected with the you that believes in yourself. You’ll find more and more people attracted to you because they truly enjoy being with you. That’s the most satisfying relationship of all. If you rely on things to prove your success you will always need more and more visible “things” to keep the proof rolling on.

Do you shy away from relationships because you’re afraid of being hurt? Too many people don’t live their lives to the hilt and seem to be overwhelmed by the prospect of being hurt or of feeling rejected when a relationship ends.

Nothing is truer than this old saying…

“A life lived in fear is a life half-lived”

If you are one of these people who would rather stay at home because the thought of being rejected or hurt is too much to bear, read on.

If you think about ANY relationship in the following terms, you’ll instantly release that fear you feel.

Everyone you meet in your life — even total strangers — is already intimately connected to you.  The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion.  We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body.

If you think about the universe as one big ball of energy and everything and everyone in it is interconnected, then the previous statement has real meaning. Think about it for a minute and then consider these points:

• Connectedness - You don’t have to “build” brand new relationships because you’re already connected. Imagine that you’re tuning in to a connection that’s already there.
• No risk - Little or no courage is required to approach strangers. You’re never actually building new connections from scratch. You’re just recognizing what’s already there.
• Equality - You can feel just as close to total strangers as you do to your friends or family.
• Importance - All relationships are significant; none are irrelevant. Even strangers you pass on the street could become important to you.
• Endings - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you’re still connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships or you are released from a relationship that no longer serves you, you’ll attract new ones that are much more compatible with you.

When you have a certain mindset about relationships, you begin to attract the right people at the right times.  If you ask around amongst your friends, you’re sure to find several who felt “they were destined to be together” from early on in their relationships.

I think the reason this mindset is so effective in creating new relationships is that when you assume a pre-existing connection with another person, he or she will tend to respond in kind.  Usually the best way to break the ice with someone is to assume there never was any ice to begin with.

Applying the mindset

When you assume the mindset that we’re all inherently connected, these are some of the actions and results that will come naturally to you:
Easy rapport - You’ll connect with strangers almost as easily as you connect with your closest friends, sometimes more easily.  The difference between strangers and friends is intellectual familiarity, but you can tap into an intuitive familiarity even with someone you’ve never met.

• Fairness - You’ll begin to feel a kinship with everyone, regardless of familiarity.
• Attraction - Because you’re always open to connecting with people, you’ll begin attracting new relationships fairly easily. Compatible people will be drawn to you.
• Chance encounters - You’ll start meeting people you feel you’re meant to meet.
• Deeper relationships - You’ll enjoy deeper, less superficial relationships.
• Energy - You’ll attract relationships that energize and excite you rather than drain you.

Fearless relationships

The real key in a successful relationship is removing fear from the equation.  When you can relate to people without fear, which is a natural consequence of the belief that we’re all connected, then it becomes much easier to form deep connections with another human being.

A speaker once started off a seminar by asking a room full of 200 entry level marketers which one of them wanted a crisp $100 bill.

Everywhere in the room, hands went up. He said, “I’m going to give this $100 bill to one of you but first let me do this.” He then crumpled up the note. He asked, “Who still wants it?” Everyone again put up a hand.

So he said, “Ok, what if I do this?” He then dropped it on the ground and began grinding it with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty and said, “Ok, now who still wants it?

Again, all the hands went up. The speaker smiled.

“My friends, you have all learned a valuable lesson today. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It is still worth $100.”

Many times in our lives we are crumpled, dropped and feel like we’ve been ground into the dirt by decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

No matter what has happened or what WILL happen, you will never ever lose your value. You are special. Don’t ever forget that. Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams.

If you’re holding back from entering a new relationship because you feel wrung out by a previous one, think about what you just read and know that you have value and that value will never diminish. You might have lost out on a former partner but there’s a better one waiting for you; you just have to take the first step to look.

I think I might be the only one in the world not to have seen this video but it’s really clever and leaves you with a smile on your face cause you never expect what it’s going to be until he finishes.

According to Stephen Juan, Ph.D., an anthropologist at the University of Sydney, there is much behavioral science research showing the most popular skin colour, eye colour, or hair colour in terms of sexual attractiveness. But there is little on what is the most sexually attractive color per se.

Different cultures have different attitudes and preferences in the attribution of qualities of colour and behaviour. For example, “black” is associated with death in European countries. But “white” is associated with death in China and “purple” is associated with death in Brazil.

As for sexual attractiveness, there is an enormous cultural component in this as well. Gender is another confounding variable. What might be perceived as a highly sexually attractive colour on a woman may not be perceived as such on a man. And what might be a highly sexually attractive colour to a woman may not be so to a man.

Nevertheless, drawing upon various studies from the fields of colour psychology and color therapy, a not-too-scientific ranking of “more” or “less” sexually attractive colors could be constructed from the list below of colors and there supposed attributes.
Black: Sophistication, elegance, seduction, mystery, sex, banishment, binding, protection, evil

Blue: Trust, reliability, belonging, coolness, tranquility, peace, calm, wisdom, justice, depression, understanding, patience, loyalty, sincerity, honour

Brown: Earthy, conservative, protective, constructive, hard-working, solid

Copper/Bronze: Love, passion, friendship, sex

Gold: Prestige, expensive, elite, authority

Green: Nature, fresh, cool, growth, abundance, rejuvenation, recovery, healing, harmony, balance, peace, hope, jealousy, envy

Grey: Neutrality, staleness, depression

Magenta: power, magnetism, spiritual power

Orange: Playfulness, warmth, vibrant, encouragement, luck, kindness, stimulation, optimism, abundance, success, independence, sensual

Pink: Soft, sweet, nurturance, security, tenderness, peace

Purple: Royal, spirituality, dignity, divination, inspiration, meditation, compassion

Red: Passion, energy, excitement, danger, speed, impulsive action, stimulation, assertiveness, aggression, strength, sex, revolt, war

Silver: Prestige, cold, scientific, stability

Turquoise: Intuitive, insightful, inventive, original, renewal, change

White: Pure, virginal, clean, youthful, mild, peace, truthfulness, enlightenment

Yellow: Warmth, cheer, happiness, vitality, change, progress, clarity, communicativeness, affirmation.

Given the above, red, black, and copper/bronze would seem to head the list of the most sexually attractive colours.

Research shows that colour affects shopping habits. Red-orange, black, and royal blue attracts impulse buyers. Pink, light green, light and navy blue attract tight budget shoppers. Pink, rose, and sky blue attract conformists