Think about all your female friends. Think about which ones you feel are happiest. I’ll bet they all have close female friends to talk with. I swear I think that women who have few close friends but are in a good relationships with a man aren’t as happy as they could be. She’s probably got a gazillion unspoken words in her mouth just dying to come out.

When we’re out for the evening, women like to go to the bathroom together. It’s not about needing a guard for the door – it’s about doing a bit of gossip! Who’s wearing what and who’s with whom and did you see the way she was leering at him? We get those words out, go back to our spouses and all is happy.

If you’ve got a woman in your life that doesn’t seem happy, encourage her to spend an afternoon with her friends. Notice how relaxed and happy she is when she returns!

I’m speaking here about men and women who are seeking new partners for a long term relationship, a long term casual relationship or something short term just for a bit of fun. As many of you know, I’ve been running a large adult dating site at SexyAds.com for a long time – over ten years. In all that time I’ve seen so many men and quite a few women going at it all wrong.

If you read the book Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus by John Gray, you can use his ideas for improving the way you approach dating, whether online or offline. Women are looking for someone to love them and someone they can nurture and when they’ve found that, they readily come across with some hot sex. Sadly, that’s not how men approach women. Men look for a woman they like who’ll give them passion and intimacy and then they fall in love with her. How have we managed to survive as a species??

Obviously we have because none of the rules are hard and fast. Women have learned that they have to give a little to get a little and men have learned to meet women’s needs in order to get what they need in return. The single people who are left are who this message is for.

If you have been unlucky in finding that perfect person, take a page out of John Gray’s book and approach the opposite sex by providing what they are looking for. Meet them half way. Women – try to flirt a bit in your online ad. Men – do a bit of listening and show interest in what she has to say. Once you get to meet in person, and if you like each other – human nature takes over and all the bits you want to happen WILL happen.

For years I’ve been interested in the power of the mind and how our minds create our own reality. I began with a book by Shakti Gawain called Creative Visualization and used the techniques she wrote about and my life changed completely within months. So completely that I stopped doing any meditaion at all and got on with my new life in a different country and in a new relationship. Perhaps I felt that I got what I wanted and never needed meditation or relaxation again. I honestly don’t know why, but I just stopped.

Then my son gave me a copy of The Secret that he’d been given by the restaurant he works for, Ted’s Montana Grill in Decatur, Georgia – just outside of Atlanta. He told me that it was a bit unbelievable for him but I might be interested since he remembered that I once did a bit of meditation. I watched the movie and it brought back a lot of what I’d learned previously but there was much I didn’t agree with.

I believe that everything in the universe is made up of energy and we’re all a part of it. I’m not sure why we’re born but I am convinced that once we die, our bits that think return to universal intelligence. I think we’re all here to do good for each other and the world we live in so that when we leave it’s a better place than when we arrived. The Secret teaches that it’s all about us – what we want. There is no right or wrong, we only need to feel good and we can get everything. “It’s as easy to manifest a castle as it is to manifest a button,” we’re told.

So I continued looking for something that was a better fit for what I believed – my gut feeling for how life works. I was raised as a Roman Catholic but once I was divorced I was a non-person to them unless I wanted to fil out long forms, get my family and friends to fill out long forms – all to say that I hadn’t had a “real” marriage so I could stay in the church. That was a lie. I had had a real marriage but it didn’t work. If the church felt that in order for me to remain a member in good standing I had to endure physical and emotional abuse OR remain single and celibate from the age of 27, that wasn’t the God I felt I knew.

I stumbled upon Jose Silva’s Ultramind System not too long ago and it’s a perfect fit for what I believe. I won’t deny that bits of it are a bit airy fairy but maybe that’s because I haven’t learned enough or practiced the meditations enough. In just a short time I’ve realized improvements in how I feel, my business is doing better and my relationship with my husband is better than ever.

My plan now is to investigate how our minds can help to create better, more loving relationships. People the world over are looking for positive, nurturing partners to share their lives with and maybe this is a tool to make it happen easier and faster than anything they’ve tried before. If you have tried The Secret, Shakti Gawain or Silva Ultramind, I’d love to hear from you.

Think back to the ads and dating profiles you’ve read on dating sites. What is the one thread in all of them that makes them memorable? I believe it’s the subconscious message they send to the reader. I’m not talking about the come fuck me one liners by men who think it’s cool to publish the word fuck next to their photo. I’m talking about ads that speak to a person in ways that cause you to click “reply”.

For instance, if you read an ad from a woman that says she’s 37, a single mother of 3 and works a full time job and has little time to spare but is lonely and looking for someone to spend time with, does that cause you to click that reply button?

How about if she wrote something along these lines?

When you contact me, you’ll meet a 37 year old woman who’s looking for someone to get excited about life with. Never mind that I’ve got 3 kids and work a full time job, I look forward to the time we’ll find to spend together.

Notice the difference? In ad number 2 there are hidden commands that she has sneaked in there to tell you what to do. “contact me”, “you’ll meet”, “look forward” and finally “spend together.” You read that and subconsciously you think, “She’s waiting for me!” …and that’s exactly what she IS doing.

When you write your next ad or update your profile, keep these words in mind. Use the tricks of the masters and embed the commands you want someone to perform and sit back and wait for the results.

Someone sent me a link to TylerCruz.com to have a look at a post he’d written about blogs and advertising. The guy is spot on, I reckon. He advises people with new blogs or even old blogs with very little readership to think about removing all their Google adsense ads or linkshare banners or any other advertising and replace them with links to traffic partners. It’s really simple if you think about it. He’s certainly an up and coming blog advertising hotshot.

He reminds us that YouTube.com was sold recently for $1.6 BILLION dollars and they never had the first bit of advertising on their sites. They did it all by concentrating on always making their site look or work better.

While I was on Tyler Cruz’s site, I had a look around to see what else he might be pontificating about that could potentially help ME get more traffic to FeelingFlirty.com and I had to laugh. He showed photos of his condo and of his stats and to be honest, he’s not doing a whole lot better than I am with my blog. So maybe we’ll be able to help each other. One of these days I’ll link to him from a post that I place on my other site, SexyAds.com, and get him exposure to over a million sets of eyes.