That’s right. Don’t wait until you’re so lonely or desperate or horny to start looking for a new partner. Get serious about it now! Too often we read ads that sound really sad and we feel bad that someone has waited so long that they come across desperate for a date. The ads that say they just want a person, doesn’t matter how tall, what size, what location, any looks, any nationality or any race, just write and quickly.

That person is NOT going to get a reply. Why not? Because there are so many other upbeat ads to choose from. Nobody is going to answer a depressing ad if they have a better choice, so if you’re guilty of writing an ad when you’ve been a bit down, it’s time to write a new ad.

Wait until you’re in a good mood and you’re able to smile and write from your heart. What about what you did last weekend for fun? What about what you plan to do in the future? What about plans for vacation or holidays? What about a book you just read? What about a craft you’re working on? What about a sex toy you just tried out? What about a new outfit you bought that makes you feel terrific? What about your favorite dinner at your favorite restaurant?

I wrote that in about a minute and I could come up with another 50 ideas just as easily. It’s all about what interests you have that might match with another person. Get something to talk about and you’re halfway there. I know people think that writing is difficult but it’s not if you start out with one idea. Let’s say you decide to write about what you did last weekend. Here’s an idea:

“Trying to be fit 40ish guy seeks average to round woman of a similar age. Last weekend I went to a play at our local theatre to see “Pirates of Penzance” and then got a late dinner at Regas Restaurant - next time it would be great if you went with me - interested?”

That might not seem like a great ad to you but it’s a helluva lot better than, “lonely guy wants to fuck.”

online dating, personals, personal ads

That’s right - prostitutes, sex workers, call girls or any number of other names you might have. Ever been with one? Ever talked with one? While I dont normally run in to women engaged in sex for money, I did have a chance recently to talk for quite a while to a woman who wanted to advertise on our site. We don’t sell advertising space at the moment but I took the opportunity to ask a few questions. She was more than happy to oblige.

Me: As you know I own SexyAds.com and we get sex workers who create memberships here all the time to try to get new customers. Have you tried that at our site or other dating sites?

Sarah: Yes, it’s how many of us keep growing our client list. We join dating sites and write to men (and sometimes couples) and then once we have made friends I tell them that I do this work professionally. Most of the time - and I do mean MOST OF THE TIME, they end up meeting me. I’ve been kicked off SexyAds about 50 times though! You people really don’t like us.

Me: It’s not that we don’t like you or don’t approve of what you’re doing, it’s that we get complaints from our members who say they aren’t looking for a part-time paid lover and it’s up to us to keep the site free of commercialism. So, what’s an average cost for your time?

Sarah: You get right to the point, don’t you? It all depends on what the customer/client wants. Straight missionary that lasts only til he orgasms is $100 or less. That doesn’t get him much time with me. If he wants something other than that, the price goes up.

Me: Aren’t you fearful for your safety?

Sarah: All the time but where could I go to get a job with my education and experience where I could make more than $100,000 a year?

Me: How long do you think you can continue to work like this?

Sarah: I won’t always want to work the hours I’m working now but I have an acquaintance who is still turning tricks at 73 and her customers adore her. She’s done this most of her life and she’s socked most of the money away. She’s loaded but she loves what she does. She says she provides a real service for men who don’t get any or enough sexual intimacy or pleasure.

Me: Do you have a husband or boyfriend? Children?

Sarah: No, I’m not married and I don’t have children but I do have a boyfriend. Some days he doesn’t mind what I do and other days it really bothers me. If we can’t get that sorted out, then we will both go our separate ways. I’m not going to stop working because he feels insecure.

Me: What’s a sex act that you’ll perform but don’t enjoy?

Sarah: I’m pretty kinky, I’ll admit that, and there’s not much that I don’t enjoy but I get nothing out of being pissed on.

Me: Ok, you’ve got me there, that’s something I’ve never tried nor have I had any desire to try. Thanks for talking!

prostitutes, sex workers

I’ve finally finished my book. I spend so much time running our website that I had to steal minutes here and there over the past 2 years to complete it. I decided to market it online rather than try to find a publisher. Only time will tell if that’s a smart decision or not. Maybe a publisher will contact ME. Maybe not too!

I’ve spent more than 10 years running an online dating/personals site for adults and I’ve seen countless couples meet and establish lasting relationships. I’ve seen heaps more meet for casual fun and friendships. I have been on the Internet dating scene since the very beginning. Even before we started SexyAds.com, back in 1994, I met my husband through a personal ad on a local bulletin board newsgroup feed. That was when everyone who met through the net was an axe murderer or worse! I went 10,000 miles for our first date from Florida to Australia and he was as perfect in person as he’d been online. I know our experience is no different than others who meet for the first time through a personal ad at our site or any dating site. In our family alone, we have three couples who’ve met through dating sites - it’s the way of the future. If your mother told you there were more fish in the sea, the sea is now world wide and yours for the taking.

I felt I had as much (or more!) experience in helping people be more successful with their ads, so I decided to write a book. I’ve put many tidbits from members and anecdotes about how goofy some people can be to add a bit of humor. If you decide to get the book, the guy who painted himself green and laid in the show for his photo contest entry is still my #1 favorite story. Every copy of the book comes with a 30 day VIP membership to SexyAds.com. If you have any comments on the book I’d love to hear from you here or through the website at www.howtowinthedatinggame.com.

adult dating, sex, personal ads

I was talking with a woman in a chatroom the other day and when I looked up her details I saw she was older than I am. I asked what she liked best about SexyAds.com and she told me she had a chance to come here and feel sexy anytime she felt like it. She then said she was in her late 60s and some of her female friends had given up on feeling sexy but she didn’t ever plan to.

I then asked what she didn’t like about SexyAds and she said there wasn’t anything about the site but there was something about all dating sites that she didn’t like. She didn’t like our focus on casual sex or sex partners or anything at all like that. She said at her age and maybe for ALL women, we should call it love making. It’s what women like to do. Women call it having sex for their man but they make love for themselves.

Interesting observation and I haven’t been able to keep it off my mind. Maybe if more men talked to women about making love and more women talked to men about having sex, we’d all get more! It’s certainly a thought worth considering.

dating, sex, senior sexuality

I know, I know, you probably don’t need this information but there are heaps of men who do, I promise you, They go about finding a date or potential new relationship all wrong. They read articles by guys who say only the shits or bad boys get the women and it’s not true!! What these men are doing (aside from what they think they’re doing) is paying attention to what the woman is looking for and treating her as the special creature she is.

Nobody wants you to bow down before her highness, especially me. Here’s the deal. Too many men think that it’s difficult to understand a woman. It’s really easy. We want to feel valued in your presence. We want to know that our opinions and ideas have merit just because we have them. We’re sick of “what do you know, you’re only a _______?” Fill in the blank with whatever job she might have. We don’t want to hear, “here, give me that, I’ll do that for you,” unless it’s a cockroach the size of a volkswagen. We don’t want you to solve our problems for us but we want you to listen while we air them out loud. If we need a solution, we’ll ask for it.

So find a site that treats you with respect and fits your lifestyle and desires and write an ad that talks about you and what makes you special. If you have SPECIFIC requirements that you will not negotiate on, put them in your profile or ad, otherwise leave it all about you. An example of a specific requirement might be that you don’t want a smoker, she must have red hair, she must not be taller than 5′ 7″. These might be things that you’ve determined you will not compromise on. Upload a real photo of yourself - a photo taken within the past year. A smiling face with your dog works best and a photo between your belly button and thigh is NOT gonna rake in crowds of women. We know what they look like and we couldn’t pick you out of a crowd to save our lives.

Once you have your profile/ad written & photo uploaded, start searching the profiles and write to every woman - that’s right, every woman - who comes close to meeting your requirements. Forget about location, hair color, astrological sign unless it’s of utmost importance. You’re seeking someone special and you might have to look hard to find her. My husband looked 10,000 miles to find me 14 years ago and he’d do it again, so distance is not a problem that cannot be overcome.

Now that you’ve written your 20 emails a day you’ll be getting replies. Look up her profile or ad and photo and see if you think you’d be comfortble with her. If she’s a maybe, write back but reply to what she wrote to you. Don’t have a cookie cutter reply or it’s all over. Remember, she wants to feel valued in your presence. Answer what she wrote and then ask a question. She’ll answer that question and ask another and you will answer.. you get the idea.

Then, if nature has taken its course (and it always does) you’ll move on to a phone conversation and then a meeting in a public place just for coffee and then on to a full date. It does work. It’s worked for me personally and it’s worked for my friend Julie and my daughter got married a few weeks ago to the man she met on our website at sexyads.com.

If you try this, let me know if it works for you? I know it’s worked for lots of other guys.

relationships, online dating, getting dates