Ever notice that many of us say things like , “I wish I could speak French,” or “I’d love to learn to fly a plane?” Then we meet someone who’s already done it and we think, why them and not me?

I’ll tell you why, it’s because they set goals for their lives and went about doing all the necessary steps to make it happen. The rest of us think it would be good but never get off the chair and say, “OK, my plan for getting -blah- is this…”

In our line of work we get mail from men and women every day who want to blame us because they aren’t in a happy relationship. I just want to stand in front of them and look them in the eye and explain that we’re a dating site, not a procurement agency. You get out of it what you put into it. A one line ad that says “I have a really big dick and can lick you all night,” no photo and no other effort on their part will always end up less than 2nd best. This is where the goal setting comes in.

We’ve found that everyone who comes to us with a real goal to meet someone special, usually does. They do all the things necessary to make it happen and most importantly, they expect it to happen. The tire kickers, the is the grass greener on your side people and the games players rarely end up in a good situation and I’m convinced it’s because they had no real intention in the first place.

A friend wrote to me with this and I think it’s just great.

I am new to on-line dating but after just a short time realized it isn’t much different from the old ways of meeting the opposite sex. You have to be willing to make the first move and learn that not everyone will respond positively and except it. Remember the days of going to bars or clubs and drinking until you had the nerve to go for it? It is the same here but the difference is the rejection is less painful! However you only get back from it what you put in… meaning if you send a wink to that special someone expect if she/he is all that special 100’s have done the same! My point is that if we are looking for success on-line we need to put time into that special message and well guys that just isn’t something we are all that good at. If we have to write a novel to get a date or just get laid we would rather masterbate and call it all good. Writing sincere messages for men is like lifting the seat… we are fine with it down as long as it isn’t preventing us from getting laid!

For women it is different. They love to spend time reading and searching for that special one. They are far better at this than we are. For them this is foreplay and since they actually enjoy it expect to invest time on it. They would enjoy knowing about the first kiss in advance, what men are worth talking to before we even think of approaching them and most importantly have us answer a few select questions without meeting us at all.

Guys for your benefit think of it this way… We all hate picking out a special card for a birthday, holiday etc. but didn’t it always get you a call back or maybe a hug? If you can not think of anything to say on here go buy a few cards at the local store because as far as I am aware it is not against the rules of the internet to copy a few quotes from time to time.

Stop fishing without bait and if any women read this well what bait would you like us to start using?

People ask me all the time what ads I like best and I always say the same thing. Don’t tell me about you, show me about you. Here’s an ad that does it well by a nick of Johnwookie who’s a single guy in New York state, if you’re interested!

Cat lover looking for a warm & fuzzy lady. The special lady I’m look for should be agreeable to cats, and ideally should be cat-like, e.g. cute, warm, soft, cuddly, affectionate, curious, intelligent, resourceful, playful, funny, patient;

You like to nap in the sun or in a basket of warm clothes just out of dryer;
You are there when I need you;
You are in awe of nature;
You like special treats;
You have your own special places to rest & reflect;
You can touch my heart w/ a soulful glance;
You are almost psychic in that
You can pick up on subtle nuances re: people places things;
You like to explore new places, things;
You get excited over silly, simple things;
You can make yourself comfortable in the most unlikely places;
You can gaze out window peacefully and happily;
You are well groomed & enjoy grooming others;
You purr when petted,
&,
You use the litter box..

I was reading a post by Lostnlookin65, a 41 year old woman from Texas. I don’t think I would stay in a relationship either where the only thing good about it was terrific sex.

The original post was in the for the "Sex is the glue" thread and it made me think (yes, was thinking hard, so yes, it hurt a little, lol)...has anyone here ever been in a relationship that was so supercharged in the sex department and not any other way...and you only stayed in the relationship for the sex?

I have to say that while I have been in relationships that the sex was wonderful, I never let that over-rule the other aspects of the relationship. There were times when I had to ask myself just how crazy I was to give up the wonderful sex in exchange for happiness, but always ended up feeling that I made the right decision.

Okay

Why is it a lot of men ask women if we have shaved “all over” but if we ask them if they’d shave their normal forest off they get all defensive & say they’d never go near their package with a razor??

So its okay for us women to have the danger with a razor near the important bits, but not for men? I was talking about this with a good friend of mine this week and she said.

“I own a bikini trimmer and use it but only if the other person will do the same!! Men moan about getting pubes stuck in their mouth when giving us head but they expect us not to complain when the same thing happens when go down!”

It’s all personal preference. Regardless if you like cleanly shaven or totally furry, if you expect your partner to go hairless, you should be prepared to leave your bits to her desire as well. I have noticed that a man with little or no hair makes his cock look bigger.