Unless you can paint a picture of yourself with words so well that nobody would ever need to see a photo of you, you need to attach a photo to any dating profile that you have on the net. Better still, if you’re permitted to have a gallery of photos, create one. Different photos can describe different parts of your personality.

A photo of you with a big fish shows you enjoy fishing. A photo of you at the bowling alley shows you enjoy bowling. A photo of you at a party shows you enjoy nights out with friends. A photo of you at the beach shows how you look with most of your clothes off. See what I mean? You haven’t written the first word but if I’d seen those 4 photos I’d already know enough to decide if you were for me.

I’ve talked with thousands of women in my job and 95% of them wouldn’t contact someone without a photo. You might be shocked but look at it from their perspective. There are literally millions of men seeking women so they have a choice. Why would they choose one they have no clue whether there is physical chemistry compared to ones who have lots of photos? The short answer is, they don’t! I know the same goes for men too, but not in the same numbers.

Next, let’s talk about the photos you have online. If you have a photo of you in your bedroom with a full ashtray next to your bed, dirty socks on top of your dirty jeans and shirt on the floor and 2 empty beer bottles - delete it. Quickly. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman - nobody’s going to choose a slob, no matter how sexy you are or how much you’re smiling. It will take you 30 seconds to clean up the background and it’s those 30 seconds that can make the difference in meeting someone really special.

Do you smile in your photo? I can’t count the number of times I read a great ad or a great blog on our site and look up the photo and it’s the grumpiest looking face ever. Maybe they’re trying to look sexy but the look is not welcoming or friendly. Rememer the profile is your shop window and if it’s not friendly & welcoming, they aren’t coming inside. In your photo your pose should show you happy to be wherever you have posted it. Happy there and happy to feel sexy and loving and passionate and approachable.

If you ever want my opinion about your photo, just leave me a comment and I’ll be happy to share what I’ve learned.

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Cunnilingus is the correct word for the art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. Any woman you do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva– every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. The best advice is practice, practice practice. You should ask for feedback so that every time you’ll take her even higher.

How fast should I go?
This isn’t an attack. Don’t charge the clitoris like a man chopping wood. The clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation when she’s not aroused. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make a lot of noise, and some do not. Some women like it to take a long time and others want it purely as foreplay. It is a learning experience to determine exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.

Some women may like additional stimulation– a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.

What about taste?
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.

As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. You’ll find that fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax– but there shouldn’t be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.

I like this site!

I’m talking about the double standard in how many people feel about men and women who’ve “been around” sexually. I was talking with some friends the other day and the conversation got a bit heated. Most of us felt that both sexes should be considered equally when counting the number of sexual partners they had. However when the conversation moved along there was this comment from Tom.

“Well after 5 x-wives and their lawyers! and if you used my x-wives lawyers information that they used in Court ! I should be in the hall of fame! I only wish it was true! Then I would be known as the stud !”

Tom HAS been around and the guys were clapping and the women were rolling their eyes.

Then Beth added, “Now see, he’d be a stud, but I’d probably be considered a slut.”

The women all looked at each other and had to agree that if she’d had as many lovers as Tom has had, we’d consider her a slut and she would no longer fit in our group. It was an eye opener for some of us who felt we would never treat men or women differently but in reality I think we would. So we made a pact to work on this. It’s like the way Muslim women are treated and I felt ashamed. Women shouldn’t be held to a higher standard than a man and a woman who sleeps around is no more “tainted” than a man. We decided we needed a new female word for stud. Any ideas?

I will admit that from time to time I get some requests that make me think and I got one today. The writer asked for advice on how to get the new woman he met at SexyAds to give him a blowjob - how should he ask for one.

That got the brain going. If a man was passionately kissing me and it moved on to hot and heavy and clothes were flying off left right and center, I suppose I would just do it. Personally I wouldn’t like to be asked because if I’m not in the mood to do it, I don’t want to have to say no and then feel guilty after that he wasn’t satisfied.

I’d much rather vote for giving her a little something and while you’re doing it say something like, “you are SO hot, I’d love to have your wet lips around my cock.” If you’re naked and you’ve got a hard weapon, she might get the idea anyway.

I’m sure the frustration we feel as site owners is very close to your own when it comes to scammers. You know the ones I mean - the ones who come to us to promote their websites, phone sex business, massage business, get rich quick business or prostitution business. Oh, and don’t forget the people from around the world who want you to love them and send them all your money. They know what our rules are so they make sure they “fit” whatever they do so we don’t kick them out. We catch nearly 50 a day!

They usually don’t do anything on the SexyAds site that gives any indication of what their real purpose is. We have consistently deleted every one of them when we receive complaints and we’re really grateful to our members who have taken their time to tell us when someone wasn’t here for a relationship, online fun or just a casual visit.

So, if someone won’t talk to you at SexyAds or any other dating site you frequent and insist that you write to them on their yahoo or other free email service, it’s a warning. Not everyone who does that is a scammer but most all scammers will make that request.

We tell these people, if you are here to promote your business, please go away. We have to pay big dollars to advertise our site and you can do the same thing! Our members don’t want you here and neither to we.

We want to keep our site for sexy adults who wish to meet - either online or in person - for fun, adult or otherwise. We don’t scan private email for anything, so we rely on members’ help by letting us know that someone has contacted them with an unwelcome proposal.