Have any of you read the book, “As a Man Thinketh,” by James Allen? It was published in 1902 and is considered to be a favorite book by many very wealthy people. Its premise is that there is a strong correlation between what a person thinks and how their life turns out.

So last night I was lying in bed churning over ideas that pop in (and out) of my mind and I thought that perhaps there IS something to that. I talk with people every day who say, “I couldn’t get laid no matter how hard I tried.” These people are usually right. They believe this and that’s how it turns out.

It just goes back to that old saying, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t you can’t.” Things always go better for me when I’m confident.

If you’ve ever been guilty of thinking or saying negative things about yourself, you should read this book. You can download a copy on the net for free and it’s not a big book. There’s a lot to be said for having the confidence to know you can — get a date, earn more money, feel better.

Regardless of what it is, if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’ll always be right.

In every relationship where a husband cheats, there’s a wife saying, “why didn’t I see it coming?” Nobody wants to tell a woman that her husband is cheating. It’s usually a no-win situation for the friend. If the wife doesn’t believe you, you’ve lost a friend. If she already knows but doesn’t want to admit it, she’s going to become a “cool” friend.

If you are worried that your husband might stray, read the reasons below and ask yourself if he fits into any of those options. If he does, and you want to save your relationship, it’s not too late. Accept that he’s reacting out of his own needs and you CAN make a difference.

• Opportunity. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex very often, so when the opportunity does occur, it can be very difficult for many men to turn it down.
• Ego. Sometimes they don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, he can resist the opportunity to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
• Emotional distance. Maybe the two of you don’t have as much in common as you once had. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him, pays more attention to him or who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is sexually compatible with her.
• Your relationship. Men will sometimes cheat to get a break from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something. Nobody wants to feel guilty all the time.
• He doesn’t love you. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on intimacy and passion and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.
• Your sex life sucks. If you aren’t interested in sex very often or aren’t willing to spice things up on occasion, there is a good chance he will have an affair to fulfill his sexual needs. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop working on your relationship. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.
• Revenge. A man who’s been cheated on will sometimes cheat for payback. More of a “how does it feel, bitch?” attitude.
• Excitement. The forbidden is always exciting and enticing to some men. They get tired of the same old same old every day and need to try something ultra spicy.
• It’s a challenge. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.
• He got away with it before. If he’s cheated before, he’s more than likely going to cheat again because he already knows if he pleads enough, you will forgive him.

This isn’t an all-inclusive list and some men will take bits from each of these options. The best way to keep your man from cheating is to pay attention to your relationship. Make date time important. Make a time at least once a week where you spiff yourself up and show how sexy you still find him to be. Talk to him but more importantly, listen to him.

We get told a lot by women and some men that SexyAds is a great place because we’re sexy but not crude. We have always tried to stay as classy as we could while still hovering on the edge of naughty. That’s our space. That’s what sets us apart from the others because many and dare I say most adults like to feel naughty from time to time.

I know, you’re thinking – but I see a some rude ads on Plentyoffish.com and Yahoopersonals.com and I get some pretty crude emails on all 3 sites. That’s what I’d like to talk about today. It IS possible to be really sexy without being crude.

I got 3 emails today from men I had never heard from before. The first one said, “Do you do anal?” I replied that if that was how he introduced himself he must be a barrel of laughs at parties. The second one said, “Can I ask if you’d send me nude pictures of you if you don’t mind?” I replied that he could ask but the answer was no. Remember I have never heard from these men before. The third was my favorite. “You’re nearly as old as my grandmother, is a blow job better without teeth?” After convincing myself he was 23 and stupid I hit the delete button. (My teeth were not purchased..)

Now my ad says I own SexyAds (with my husband of course) and I’m not looking for anything but friends. I’m assuming these 3 didn’t bother to read my ad so I’m hoping that if I HAD been looking for someone, the emails wouldn’t have been any more explicit than what I got.

The reason I’m writing about this topic today is because I read a couple of ads from women with very similar wording. One was the bit on the front page that said, “I need you to know that I’m a very sexual person, but I’m not a slut.” The other said, “If you send me pictures of your penis or talk to me like I’m trash I will not reply and I will delete and block you from contacting me again. I’m a class act. I’m sexy and I love to have sex but there is a time to be crude but it’s not before we say hello for the first time.”

I can’t count the number of ads that say, “please don’t send me a cock shot” or “don’t send me your penis pic or if you MUST send a photo of your penis, please send another one of your face with a smile.” Guys, they’re saying it for a reason.

There was a fantastic blog this week about the same sort of thing. A woman said that if you don’t go to the supermarket or to parties or church and waggle your dick at people, don’t do it to women here. I look at the men who are really successful at grabbing a lot of babes and get a lot of horizontal action and to a man, they don’t need to be crude to pick up chicks – of any age. One guy (who gets lucky often) had a good suggestion too. He said that if women would tell men that their email was unacceptable, the standard of emails would improve.

I’m not saying that you should never do sexy talk, God forbid, no. That’s what we’re all about – getting you to talk sexy! I want you to get to first base and I see too many of you struggling and not making the connections you should. You’re attractive, intelligent men – you can do this. Make friends with her and then she’ll want to see everything you’ve got to show and you’ll get something from her too – something other than a rejection.

I met my husband through a personal ad on the net and if he had sent me a photo of his dick SexyAds wouldn’t be here today. I’d be still living in Florida and he’d still be in Australia with those pics of his dick.

The old rule still applies. If you’re respectful, interesting and fun – she’ll jump YOUR bones, you won’t have to coerce her into anything.

I was discussing romance with someone yesterday and he asked me that question. What makes me feel loved? It’s rare that I don’t have a quick answer but I said I’d have to think about it. I have in mind what I should do to express or show my love for J and I know I should do these things more often. I have never sat down to think about what it is he could do for me that would make me feel loved. Obviously he does it because I feel incredibly loved. I just can’t put my finger on it and at my age I should know what makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You know the kind of feeling I’m talking about. The feeling that REALLY makes you want to jump their bones when they walk into a room.

For many of us, finding the right way to show our love and affection is difficult. Sadly some people show their love and affection in ways that aren’t always appreciated or recognized by their partnera. Many may simply be too caught up in the daily distractions of life, work, and family and fail to constantly show their partner how much they mean to them.

Because no two people are alike, it’s only natural for there to be no generic way to show someone how much you love them. Many times we may be showing our love to our partner without them even recognizing it, or it being what they really want. Unless the things you do to express and show your love is one of the things that make your partner feel loved, its quite likely it will go unrecognized or under appreciated, even if you put a lot of effort into it.

So even if you aren’t in a relationship right now, take the time to decide what it is that makes YOU feel loved. It might help you to recognize the right person when he or she comes along.

I swear, it’s getting to the point that everything we eat and everything we do is going to cause cancer. I don’t want to put down the medical profession and they could very well be right, but geez, asking us to give up oral sex is going too far. Here’s an article I read at WebMD.com.

Changing sexual practices have led to a dramatic rise in throat cancer in the United States over the past two decades, and experts say they fear an epidemic of the disease.

The comments were made Wednesday at a news conference held by the American Association for Cancer Research to discuss research into the role of the sexually transmitted human papilloma virus ( HPV) in head and neck cancer.

Increasing rates of HPV infection, spread through oral sex, is largely driving the rapid rise in oropharyngeal cancers, which include tumors of the throat, tonsils, and base of the tongue, said Scott Lippman, MD, who chairs the thoracic department at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.

Studies of oropharyngeal tumor tissue stored 20 years ago show that only around 20% are HPV positive, Lippman said. Today it is estimated that 60% of patients are infected with the virus.

“The percentage of oropharyngeal cancers that are HPV positive is much higher now than it was 20 years ago,” he said. “This is a real trend, and that is why there is concern of an epidemic given that fact that oropharyngeal cancer is increasing at an alarming rate.”

American Cancer Society Chief Medical Officer Otis Brawley, MD, said as many as half of the oropharyngeal cancers diagnosed today appear to be caused by HPV infection.

“Changing sexual practices over the last 20 years, especially as they relate to oral sex, are increasing the rate of head and neck cancers and may be increasing the rates of other cancers as well,” he said.

Condoms for everything?